I glanced at my watch, then grabbed my phone, checking whatsapp as I tapped my foot against the floor nervously. More like impatiently. Caleb wasn't even late, but I couldn't wait to see him for the first time since we had decided to give ourselves a chance, it was also the first time he came to my new apartment so I had put on a pretty dress, I had cooked dinner and now I felt that excitement I hadn't felt in so long.
I darted to the door as soon as I heard footsteps and I opened it, not even thinking that if it wasn't him I'd look like an idiot. But it was him instead, in all his glorious hotness. "Hi." I smiled wide, trying to control myself but I was afraid I was failing.
I darted to the door as soon as I heard footsteps and I opened it, not even thinking that if it wasn't him I'd look like an idiot. But it was him instead, in all his glorious hotness. "Hi." I smiled wide, trying to control myself but I was afraid I was failing.
"Hi." He said simply while I decided to throw my control out of the window and my arms around his neck, my lips were on his a second later. I didn't even know if that was okay to be honest. "Hi." He said again and smirked, but he pulled back a little, making me pull back too.
"Come in." I took a step back, motioning inside. That's when I noticed. He was holding one bottle of wine in one hand and in the other he had flowers. For me. I was this close to faint. "Oh Caleb...you're too perfect to be true." I bit down on my lip, grabbing the flowers and dipping my nose into them.
"I promise I'm true." He winked at me, closing the door behind him as his eyes wandered around. "What did you cook? Whatever it is it smells amazing."
"It's a surprise." I told him as I put the flowers into a vase, getting closer to him again and grabbing his hand to pull him to me and kiss his scruffy cheek this time. "And thank you." I added, ready to go back to my kitchen but he stopped me.
"Not so fast." He said in that low voice that gave me shivers, cupping my jaw with his strong hand and setting his forehead against mine. His eyes stared into mine for a second maybe but it was long enough for me to completely melt. He kissed my lips, taking his time to savor me and I let him, my hand went to his hard chest while I tried not to faint again.
I nibbled on his bottom lip, smirking into his eyes. "Open the wine?" I suggested even if I was having a hard time thinking let alone talking. What was this man doing to me?
Caleb nodded and ran his thumb over my cheek. "Are you okay?"
I nodded and he narrowed his eyes at me. "How do you already know when I'm lying?" I laughed.
"We were friends long before we were lovers." He reminded me, sliding his hand down my neck and rubbing his thumb against my collarbone.
"I feel...anxious. Nervous too. I don't want to fuck this up." I confessed with a small frown.
"I know how you feel. I went back and forth on the flowers. I couldn't decide if you thought it would be lame or sweet." He admitted.
"Definitely sweet." I sighed and relaxed a little. "Hungry?"
He nodded and stroked my neck one last time, making me shiver. "Are you cold?" He asked.
I blinked back at him confused. "No...it's warm if anything. Do you want me to turn down the air conditioning?"
He chuckled and shook his head as he reached out and grazed his thumb over my puckered nipple through my dress. Oh dear. I sucked in a breath, trying not to be obvious. "Just making sure the shiver was because of me....and this too." He ran circles around the tiny bud.
"I thought you were hungry." I choked out softly.
"I'm starving." He said in a voice that was lower than his normal register.
"For food?" I asked breathily and he swallowed and nodded.
"Not just that. But it'll do for now."
I sucked in another breath and forced myself to pull away, getting in chef mode again. "Open the wine?" I asked him, not even remembering if I had asked him already. Maybe yes?
He nodded, reaching for the bottle and looking at me in a way that made me want to rip my own clothes off. "That easy?" He shot me an amused look.
I blinked at him, taking the lasagna out of the oven, "What?"
He shrugged and poured the wine into our glasses. "I was trying to distract you..." He trailed off in a teasing voice.
At that I smirked wide. "You're the best at distracting me Caleb." I said seriously as I filled our plates. "But there's something you need to know about me."
"I want to know everything about you." He said more seriously, his tone turning sweet.
"When I have a plan on my mind nothing can change it or get in the way, I always have to follow it." I explained, feeling a little lame.
"Not even sex?" He asked back with his killer grin in place. Well...
"I make exceptions." I winked at him as we sat at the table while I wondered if that was his plan instead.
"What's the plan for tonight? Are you going to tell me?" He asked and I had the feeling he was still teasing me.
I bit down on my lip, shrugging my shoulders and feeling myself blush. "Dinner I guess?" I said back, wanting to hide because with him I felt like I was back to high school.
He let out a chuckle. "Tell me what we're eating."
"Veggie lasagne." I told him simply and smiled as I grabbed my glass. I had to calm down, this wasn't a first date or anything...we were together already, I had nothing to be nervous about. And still was, maybe because I liked him so much. "What are we drinking?"
“Your plans are ruined.” He said in a super dramatic tone, holding his hand over his heart. “The wine I brought goes well only with meats.”
“You’re being a smartass.” I narrowed my eyes and he couldn’t help but laugh apparently.
“I am. And I brought a semi-sweet Sangiovese. It will actually go perfectly with the food.”
I rose a brow at him. “How did you know what I’d cook?” I asked.
“I know your style of food.” He replied. “I figured it might not be perfect but it would be good.”
I licked my lips, wondering what that meant. “What is my style of food?”
“Delicious.” He replied with a smirk.
I rolled my eyes and then glared at him. “I’m serious! I want to know what you think.”
He shrugged. “I admit I don’t have any fancy words for it, but your food is comfort food….but really fancy.” He smirked and I laughed.
“Fancy comfort food?”
“Yes. Like, homey and comfortable and perfectly seasoned, but not pretentious.” He smiled. “My favorite.”
“I could be pretentious!” I exclaimed. “I make wedding cakes!”
“There’s not a pretentious bone in your body.” He laughed. “And I love that about you.” He added seriously as an afterthought.
“Yeah?” I beamed at him and he nodded before pulling me closer and kissing me soundly again.
I kissed him back, pouring all myself into the kiss as I reached for his shirt to keep him close. Kissing him was like eating my favorite cake, I never had enough. "Thank you." I whispered against his lips.
He pulled back with a chuckle, looking a little different from the Caleb I was used to. He was...sexier. Not that he ever was not sexy but now it was as if he acted more sexy, like he knew it, he was almost cocky. "Let's eat before your plan is completely ruined." He smirked at me.
"Oh ha ha so hilarious." I rolled my eyes but smirked a little too as I watched him taking the first bite.
"Mhm." He swallowed, "Delicious."
"As always." It was my turn to be cocky even if, really, I wasn't. I was usually modest but I did know I was good at cooking. "How was your day?" I asked before starting eating myself.
"It was good but it just got better." He shrugged, keeping his eyes on me as he took a sip of wine.
I did too and it wasn't just because of the alcohol that I felt a warm feeling. "How come? Because of the food or because of me?" I asked, acting silly.
"Both." He winked at me and I just stared at him as I kept eating, completely in adoration. "What?" He asked after a moment.
"I'm just really happy to have you here." I said honestly, feeling myself blush.
He leaned into me, nuzzling my neck. "You're so cute Tara." He muttered against my skin.
I shivered as I dropped my hand on his knee, needing and wanting some contact. "I even considered to light candles." I confessed and when he pulled his head back to look at me he let out a small laugh. "And that's why I didn't."
"Why?!" He asked back.
I shrugged, stuffing my mouth with some lasagna and buying myself some time. "It seemed like too much. I'll save that for our first anniversary." I teased, winking at him. Also, totally meaning it. Secretly.
“Which one would that be?” Caleb asked.
“What do you mean?” I asked, taking back the words in my mind.
“I mean like, one week? One month? The anniversary of what? Our first kiss? Our first time?” He smirked and watched as I blushed. “I'm just wanting to know when I can expect candles.”
“Maybe it should be the anniversary of this.” I replied. “First real date.”
He smiled and reached out to grab my hand and squeeze it lightly. “I’ll be looking forward to candles next Friday then.” He tried not to laugh and I shook my head.
“If you’re expecting a celebration every week you’re going to be disappointed.” I retorted.
“I’m just teasing.” He squeezed my hand again, then I lost him, he was so deep into his thoughts...I could tell.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked softly, squeezing his hand back.
“Us.” He said seriously, his voice a little lower with what that simple word meant.
“Is it good?” I asked, tilting my head to the side and letting my hair fall over my shoulder.
“It’s better than good.” He replied. “You look so beautiful tonight.”
I rolled my eyes even as my cheeks got pink again. “You say that every day.”
“It’s true everyday.” He shrugged. “But since this is a first date you better not be expecting me to put out just because you made me dinner.” He replied, keeping a straight face and watching as I blinked than burst out laughing.
“So many jokes from his serious man.” I teased.
He reached over to kiss me again. “I’m full of them.”
"I had no idea." I told him against his lips before pulling back and finishing my lasagna.
"No?" He smirked at me, downing the remaining wine in his glass.
I shook my head, licking my lips. "You've always been mostly serious with me."
He rolled his eyes. "That's not true." He protested.
"Don't worry I like you serious." I finally got up and sat on his lap, wrapping my arms around him, "I like you when you're joking too. I think I always like you actually."
He pushed my hair behind my ear gently, smiling into my eyes. "You don't know everything about me." He said back, kind of serious again but I wasn't going to point that out.
"So?" I asked with an eyebrow raised. I wasn't going to argue because he was right but I couldn't see his point.
"So I'm full of flaws." He said matter of factly.
I shrugged because everyone had flaws, we were only humans. "I'm not worried about that." I said honestly before kissing him again.
His large hand spread on my back, pushing me against him. "I am." He muttered in a low voice.
"Don't." I whispered, staring into his eyes before kissing him again, this time deeply. "I made dessert too but we can eat it later..."
"Of course you made dessert." He finally smirked again. "What now in your plan?"
"The tour of my apartment." I announced as I wrapped my legs around his waist.
He got the hint and held me against him as he got up, carrying me effortlessly. "Where should I go first?" He asked.
"Let's skip the bathroom." I told him as I pointed my finger toward the spacious living room that was almost empty. "This is where we're going to watch movies and cuddle."
"Just that?" He asked in a teasing tone as he followed my finger, it pointing to my bedroom.
"We'll find out soon." I bit back a smirk, taking my eyes away from him only to drop them on my bed which was the only thing in my bedroom. But I was still waiting to be more stable financially to go furniture crazy. "This is...guess."
He nuzzled my neck then looked around. "An empty room with a bed?"
I pulled my head back and smacked his chest. "No! I mean, yes, technically it is but you have to have more imagination."
"I'm not good at that unless we're talking about x-rated fantasies." He gave me a significant look, smirking wide. I still had to get used to see him like this.
"Let's go on the terrace, you have to see the view." I said after rolling my eyes, impatient to show him how I could see his house from there. My apartment was perfect, because it was close to my bakery, the fact that it was close to Caleb's winery and home too was a plus.
“This is beautiful.” Caleb commented. “You can see the winery from here.”
I nodded, as if I didn't know it. “I know it’s perfect.”
He smiled and nuzzled my neck. “Do you want to eat out here?” He asked, nodding towards the small table I had placed there.
“That would be nice.” I agreed.
“Dessert?”
“I think so.” I replied but didn’t move as he wrapped his arms around her.
“I’m happy.” He whispered.
“Yeah?” I turned around with a smile and cupped his face. “Aren’t you usually.”
He nodded. “I like my life, my job, my family and friends. But I’ve never been so excited to get up because of someone. You make me feel like I’m really living.” He admitted.
“Caleb…” I trailed off and he leaned down to kiss me again, long and slow and making me forget about what I was about to tell him, making me moan instead.
“I really don’t want to fuck this up.” He admitted, leaning his forehead against mine.
“Me either.” I replied.
"I feel like there’s so much against us.” He admitted.
“Isn’t it worth it?” I asked softly, a little afraid of what his answer could be.
“Yes.” He said seriously. “You are worth everything Tara.”
His words warmed my heart, my whole body actually, and I smiled up at him. "If you keep telling me those things..." I trailed off, not knowing exactly how to end the sentence. I was feeling so much, and I knew I was this close to start falling for him. But I didn't want to scare him.
"What?" He asked quietly, pushing my hair out of my face and I wrinkled my nose at the sweet gesture.
"I'll start to believe it." I said honestly. It wasn't like I was worth nothing or thought I was, more like I had lost faith as my relationships had failed one after the other, and not faith in men only, but a little in myself too.
"You should." He said and cracked a small grin, "I mean it."
"You're just perfect." I said back, thinking that even the little flaws he had were part of his perfection. He was perfect how he was.
He shook his head as he sighed, "That's something we have to work on."
I let out a small laugh, "On your perfection?" I teased him as I headed to the kitchen to get the dessert.
"On you thinking that I'm perfect when I'm not." He said once I set the double portion of chocolate panna cotta on the tiny table.
"Please never prove me wrong." I grinned at him, keeping the moment lighter as I sat on his lap and reached for the teaspoon to dig it into the dessert.
"But I'm not perfect." He protested with a frown on his face, his hand reaching for my wrist and leading my bite to his mouth. God I loved this.
"But!" I paused to grin at him, "You're perfect how you are." I pointed out, basically voicing my thoughts and only making him groan. "To me." I added.
He sighed, "Your expectations are way too high." He said a little dramatically, a little silly, then let me feed him another bite. "This is super good. If we're always going to eat like this I'll need to work out more."
I smiled from ear to ear, because I still liked when people complimented my food. For me, cooking for someone was a love gesture. "Don't worry about that." I said in a whisper and wrapped my arm around his neck before kissing his lips softly.
Caleb kissed me back and then pulled away. “Can we eat now?”
“Is it better than me?!” I laughed.
He smirked. “You have had your food right?”
I nodded and licked my lips. “Aren’t I better?”
He grinned, and tangled his hand in my hair. “I guess I should be the judge, I have tasted you..."
“Hmmm. How will you decide?” I smirked.
He kissed my again, sliding his tongue into my mouth. “I’m pretty sure you’re better than any dessert.” He whispered.
“You can still try it if you want.” I laughed against his lips.
“Thank god.” He teased.
“Do you want another glass of wine?” He nodded and I refilled our glasses then he pulled me into his lap. “Now you’re just being clingy.” I teased, rolling my eyes.
“Don’t care.” He admitted, taking a big bite of the canna cotta and groaning. “Damn.”
“Good?”
He nodded. “The best…but you’re still better."
“You’re just trying to get into my pants.”
“First of all? You aren’t wearing pants.” He smirked. “Secondly? I’m serious. Though I bet eating this off of you would be the best.” He smirked and wiggled his brows.
“Oh god that’s such a line.” I laughed.
“Is it working?”
"No." I grinned at his cocky face that was a little cute too. "Yes. But not the line, which is awful by the way, it's the one who says it that makes the difference."
"Would that be me?" He asked, one hand on my thigh and the other taking care of feeding himself.
I nodded, sliding my hand up his neck and tangling my fingers with his hair. "This is my idea of perfect happiness." I confessed after a moment.
He swallowed and gave me a questioning look. "Elaborate that." He said shortly, too busy stuffing his mouth to talk.
"A night home with a man I adore, eating dessert and feeling..." I trailed off, not sure about which word to use. "Just happy."
"You're not as good with words as I thought you'd be you know." He teased me.
"I just told you I adore you and that's all I get?! Way to ruin the perfect moment of happiness." I protested even though I was just being silly.
He let out a laugh, the deep kind that made me want to squeal in delight. "Do you adore me?" He asked, this time more seriously but God his voice was still so low and warm. I just nodded, biting down on my lip. "No one ever told me that." He added.
"Because you never met a girl who was smart enough to realize she had no other choice to adore you since you're so amazing." I explained and even if I was being silly I meant it too.
"My ego is about to explode." He grinned at me.
I sighed again and nuzzled his neck, hiding from him. "I give up." I announced.
"On me?" He asked as his large hand moved on my back to caress me gently.
"Yes of course." I replied in monotone, making it obvious I wasn't serious.
He kept quiet a moment and I took advantage of that to close my eyes and inhale his cologne. I found myself loving to hide against his neck, it made me feel...safe. "So, if this is your idea of perfect happiness...wouldn't you like going out instead?" He asked.
"Yes I would." I answered then pulled my head back to look into his eyes. "I want to do everything with you." I told him, meaning it. I wanted to live this relationship, all of it.
"You say that and his mind goes dirty." Caleb smirked.
"I never knew this side of you before." I laughed.
"The pervy side?"
"Yes. I didn't even know you knew that word."
He poked me and I laughed. "I tried hard to not let you see that side...." He admitted, trailing off slowly.
"Caleb.."
"I wanted you since the first day I saw you. I didn't know you would also be the girl who changed my mind about everything I knew about relationships....I just thought you were-"
"Hot?" I smirked.
"Yes." He laughed. "But it was more than that." He blinked, thinking hard. "It was like....everything about you did it for me."
blushed a little. "I'm sorry I didn't meet you first." I whispered, almost embarrassed to admit it.
He tilted my head up. "If you had it would have been different. I wouldn't have gotten to know you..become your friend."
"But...god Caleb there were so many times when you had to watch me with John..." I trailed off. We hadn't really talked about me and John since we got together. It wasn't exactly something I wanted to do. But I knew we needed to.
"I know." He agreed and then sighed. "Do you want to talk about that now?" He asked.
I bit down on my lip and shook my head on instinct. It wasn't like I had any problem talking about my ex, the fact that was my current boyfriend's cousin was a problem instead. "Do we have to?" I asked because I knew that eventually we'd have to address the subject.
He shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't know...that's why I asked." He grinned.
"Don't be a smartass just now." I sighed and hid my face in the crook of his neck.
"Maybe not since you're already freaking out and we haven't even started yet." He said softly, rubbing my back.
I pulled my head back instead to look at him. "I'm not freaking out." I protested since I didn't want him to have the wrong impression. "But what's to say really? All we have to do is decide when to tell him."
"Is that what worrying you?" He asked and made a face. The thought wasn't thrilling him either and it showed.
I nodded, playing with the collar of his shirt. "It doesn't matter what we say, it can't go well. I can't imagine even one scenario where you and John don't end up fighting. Let's be real Caleb we already saw a preview that day at my bakery. And I hate that you might ruin the relationship you have with him because of me."
He let out a long sigh, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my forehead. "We'll worry about that when it happens." He said and I didn't know if that was really wise or it was just a way to procrastinate.
I sighed myself. "Okay." I smiled even if it was a little forced. "What are your plans for tonight?" I asked, changing the subject and giving him a significant look. I couldn't wait to sleep with him and wake up with him the morning after.
Caleb licked his lips and swallowed. Was that hard to answer? “I should go I have to be up early tomorrow morning.”
I just blinked at him. What? “Go? Like back to your place?” I asked, clearly confused.
“Unless I work here now. Did things change?” He asked with a smirk but I just pouted.
“You’re not going to stay?” I asked softly, trying not to act too upset even if I was.
“I’ll see you tomorrow wont I?”
I pouted again. Meh. “Um. Yeah, I mean I’ll be at work…I have to get up early too Caleb it’s not too far from the winery.”
He cracked his neck again while I wondered just...why. “I don’t want us to move too fast.” He replied.
That didn't sound good and I felt my face drop. “….move too fast?”
“I mean. I want us to progress like a normal couple….wait a few dates before spending the night…” He trailed off.
“…We already slept together.” I reminded him. “A lot.”
“I know. And that’s just the thing. I was treating you like any other girl I’d been with before. But I want to know more than just your body. I want to try being an actual adult for once in my life and do things the right way.”
“There’s no right or wrong way…” I replied, trying to understand.
“Isn’t there? Clearly neither of us did this right in the past.” He pointed out.
I stared at him a long moment. He had said the only thing I couldn't argue about. With John it had been a disaster and with Andy maybe even worse, while he had a divorce in his past already. So maybe yes I wasn't good at relationships, but at least I couldn't say it was for the lack of trying, while I had the feeling that it was the opposite for Caleb. Either that or we simply had met the wrong people. Now, was I that naive to think he was the right one already? No, but I really hoped this was the case. "Okay." I said eventually, softly.
He frowned, pushing my hair out of my face. "I don't like okays. Tell me what you're thinking."
"No Caleb I get it. It wasn't okay as I'm not telling you what I'm thinking but just...okay. What you said make sense, I only wish you told me before I invited you over for dinner." I explained quietly, trying not to be too upset about it because truth was I wanted to fall asleep against his hard chest and I didn't care about right or wrong. But that, I wasn't going to tell him.
He studied my face a moment, his hand dropping on my hip. "Why?" He asked simply.
"Because it's going to be hard to kick you out of my apartment right now." I said, forcing a grin and making it sound like I was teasing. Which I wasn't really.
He seemed to relax at my words as he grinned back at me. "What are we going to do about it?" He asked.
I got up and pulled away from him, playing innocent. "Just be a man, kiss me goodnight and go home." And next time I'm not going to invite you over, I added in my mind.
“Okay.” He grinned, using my own word and not adding anything else. Great. He cupped my face and kissed me gently, once and then again until he got carried away and he was wrapping his arms around my waist and tugging me into him, sliding his tongue against mine and groaning into my mouth. “You don’t know how much I want to stay.” He whispered against my lips, fisting my shirt in his hand.
“That was some goodnight kiss." I smiled up at him, meaning it but also biting my tongue.
“I do his best.” He chuckled and then kissed my nose before letting me go and grabbing his jacket. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
I nodded with no enthusiasm. “Tomorrow.”
"Come in." I took a step back, motioning inside. That's when I noticed. He was holding one bottle of wine in one hand and in the other he had flowers. For me. I was this close to faint. "Oh Caleb...you're too perfect to be true." I bit down on my lip, grabbing the flowers and dipping my nose into them.
"I promise I'm true." He winked at me, closing the door behind him as his eyes wandered around. "What did you cook? Whatever it is it smells amazing."
"It's a surprise." I told him as I put the flowers into a vase, getting closer to him again and grabbing his hand to pull him to me and kiss his scruffy cheek this time. "And thank you." I added, ready to go back to my kitchen but he stopped me.
"Not so fast." He said in that low voice that gave me shivers, cupping my jaw with his strong hand and setting his forehead against mine. His eyes stared into mine for a second maybe but it was long enough for me to completely melt. He kissed my lips, taking his time to savor me and I let him, my hand went to his hard chest while I tried not to faint again.
I nibbled on his bottom lip, smirking into his eyes. "Open the wine?" I suggested even if I was having a hard time thinking let alone talking. What was this man doing to me?
Caleb nodded and ran his thumb over my cheek. "Are you okay?"
I nodded and he narrowed his eyes at me. "How do you already know when I'm lying?" I laughed.
"We were friends long before we were lovers." He reminded me, sliding his hand down my neck and rubbing his thumb against my collarbone.
"I feel...anxious. Nervous too. I don't want to fuck this up." I confessed with a small frown.
"I know how you feel. I went back and forth on the flowers. I couldn't decide if you thought it would be lame or sweet." He admitted.
"Definitely sweet." I sighed and relaxed a little. "Hungry?"
He nodded and stroked my neck one last time, making me shiver. "Are you cold?" He asked.
I blinked back at him confused. "No...it's warm if anything. Do you want me to turn down the air conditioning?"
He chuckled and shook his head as he reached out and grazed his thumb over my puckered nipple through my dress. Oh dear. I sucked in a breath, trying not to be obvious. "Just making sure the shiver was because of me....and this too." He ran circles around the tiny bud.
"I thought you were hungry." I choked out softly.
"I'm starving." He said in a voice that was lower than his normal register.
"For food?" I asked breathily and he swallowed and nodded.
"Not just that. But it'll do for now."
I sucked in another breath and forced myself to pull away, getting in chef mode again. "Open the wine?" I asked him, not even remembering if I had asked him already. Maybe yes?
He nodded, reaching for the bottle and looking at me in a way that made me want to rip my own clothes off. "That easy?" He shot me an amused look.
I blinked at him, taking the lasagna out of the oven, "What?"
He shrugged and poured the wine into our glasses. "I was trying to distract you..." He trailed off in a teasing voice.
At that I smirked wide. "You're the best at distracting me Caleb." I said seriously as I filled our plates. "But there's something you need to know about me."
"I want to know everything about you." He said more seriously, his tone turning sweet.
"When I have a plan on my mind nothing can change it or get in the way, I always have to follow it." I explained, feeling a little lame.
"Not even sex?" He asked back with his killer grin in place. Well...
"I make exceptions." I winked at him as we sat at the table while I wondered if that was his plan instead.
"What's the plan for tonight? Are you going to tell me?" He asked and I had the feeling he was still teasing me.
I bit down on my lip, shrugging my shoulders and feeling myself blush. "Dinner I guess?" I said back, wanting to hide because with him I felt like I was back to high school.
He let out a chuckle. "Tell me what we're eating."
"Veggie lasagne." I told him simply and smiled as I grabbed my glass. I had to calm down, this wasn't a first date or anything...we were together already, I had nothing to be nervous about. And still was, maybe because I liked him so much. "What are we drinking?"
“Your plans are ruined.” He said in a super dramatic tone, holding his hand over his heart. “The wine I brought goes well only with meats.”
“You’re being a smartass.” I narrowed my eyes and he couldn’t help but laugh apparently.
“I am. And I brought a semi-sweet Sangiovese. It will actually go perfectly with the food.”
I rose a brow at him. “How did you know what I’d cook?” I asked.
“I know your style of food.” He replied. “I figured it might not be perfect but it would be good.”
I licked my lips, wondering what that meant. “What is my style of food?”
“Delicious.” He replied with a smirk.
I rolled my eyes and then glared at him. “I’m serious! I want to know what you think.”
He shrugged. “I admit I don’t have any fancy words for it, but your food is comfort food….but really fancy.” He smirked and I laughed.
“Fancy comfort food?”
“Yes. Like, homey and comfortable and perfectly seasoned, but not pretentious.” He smiled. “My favorite.”
“I could be pretentious!” I exclaimed. “I make wedding cakes!”
“There’s not a pretentious bone in your body.” He laughed. “And I love that about you.” He added seriously as an afterthought.
“Yeah?” I beamed at him and he nodded before pulling me closer and kissing me soundly again.
I kissed him back, pouring all myself into the kiss as I reached for his shirt to keep him close. Kissing him was like eating my favorite cake, I never had enough. "Thank you." I whispered against his lips.
He pulled back with a chuckle, looking a little different from the Caleb I was used to. He was...sexier. Not that he ever was not sexy but now it was as if he acted more sexy, like he knew it, he was almost cocky. "Let's eat before your plan is completely ruined." He smirked at me.
"Oh ha ha so hilarious." I rolled my eyes but smirked a little too as I watched him taking the first bite.
"Mhm." He swallowed, "Delicious."
"As always." It was my turn to be cocky even if, really, I wasn't. I was usually modest but I did know I was good at cooking. "How was your day?" I asked before starting eating myself.
"It was good but it just got better." He shrugged, keeping his eyes on me as he took a sip of wine.
I did too and it wasn't just because of the alcohol that I felt a warm feeling. "How come? Because of the food or because of me?" I asked, acting silly.
"Both." He winked at me and I just stared at him as I kept eating, completely in adoration. "What?" He asked after a moment.
"I'm just really happy to have you here." I said honestly, feeling myself blush.
He leaned into me, nuzzling my neck. "You're so cute Tara." He muttered against my skin.
I shivered as I dropped my hand on his knee, needing and wanting some contact. "I even considered to light candles." I confessed and when he pulled his head back to look at me he let out a small laugh. "And that's why I didn't."
"Why?!" He asked back.
I shrugged, stuffing my mouth with some lasagna and buying myself some time. "It seemed like too much. I'll save that for our first anniversary." I teased, winking at him. Also, totally meaning it. Secretly.
“Which one would that be?” Caleb asked.
“What do you mean?” I asked, taking back the words in my mind.
“I mean like, one week? One month? The anniversary of what? Our first kiss? Our first time?” He smirked and watched as I blushed. “I'm just wanting to know when I can expect candles.”
“Maybe it should be the anniversary of this.” I replied. “First real date.”
He smiled and reached out to grab my hand and squeeze it lightly. “I’ll be looking forward to candles next Friday then.” He tried not to laugh and I shook my head.
“If you’re expecting a celebration every week you’re going to be disappointed.” I retorted.
“I’m just teasing.” He squeezed my hand again, then I lost him, he was so deep into his thoughts...I could tell.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked softly, squeezing his hand back.
“Us.” He said seriously, his voice a little lower with what that simple word meant.
“Is it good?” I asked, tilting my head to the side and letting my hair fall over my shoulder.
“It’s better than good.” He replied. “You look so beautiful tonight.”
I rolled my eyes even as my cheeks got pink again. “You say that every day.”
“It’s true everyday.” He shrugged. “But since this is a first date you better not be expecting me to put out just because you made me dinner.” He replied, keeping a straight face and watching as I blinked than burst out laughing.
“So many jokes from his serious man.” I teased.
He reached over to kiss me again. “I’m full of them.”
"I had no idea." I told him against his lips before pulling back and finishing my lasagna.
"No?" He smirked at me, downing the remaining wine in his glass.
I shook my head, licking my lips. "You've always been mostly serious with me."
He rolled his eyes. "That's not true." He protested.
"Don't worry I like you serious." I finally got up and sat on his lap, wrapping my arms around him, "I like you when you're joking too. I think I always like you actually."
He pushed my hair behind my ear gently, smiling into my eyes. "You don't know everything about me." He said back, kind of serious again but I wasn't going to point that out.
"So?" I asked with an eyebrow raised. I wasn't going to argue because he was right but I couldn't see his point.
"So I'm full of flaws." He said matter of factly.
I shrugged because everyone had flaws, we were only humans. "I'm not worried about that." I said honestly before kissing him again.
His large hand spread on my back, pushing me against him. "I am." He muttered in a low voice.
"Don't." I whispered, staring into his eyes before kissing him again, this time deeply. "I made dessert too but we can eat it later..."
"Of course you made dessert." He finally smirked again. "What now in your plan?"
"The tour of my apartment." I announced as I wrapped my legs around his waist.
He got the hint and held me against him as he got up, carrying me effortlessly. "Where should I go first?" He asked.
"Let's skip the bathroom." I told him as I pointed my finger toward the spacious living room that was almost empty. "This is where we're going to watch movies and cuddle."
"Just that?" He asked in a teasing tone as he followed my finger, it pointing to my bedroom.
"We'll find out soon." I bit back a smirk, taking my eyes away from him only to drop them on my bed which was the only thing in my bedroom. But I was still waiting to be more stable financially to go furniture crazy. "This is...guess."
He nuzzled my neck then looked around. "An empty room with a bed?"
I pulled my head back and smacked his chest. "No! I mean, yes, technically it is but you have to have more imagination."
"I'm not good at that unless we're talking about x-rated fantasies." He gave me a significant look, smirking wide. I still had to get used to see him like this.
"Let's go on the terrace, you have to see the view." I said after rolling my eyes, impatient to show him how I could see his house from there. My apartment was perfect, because it was close to my bakery, the fact that it was close to Caleb's winery and home too was a plus.
“This is beautiful.” Caleb commented. “You can see the winery from here.”
I nodded, as if I didn't know it. “I know it’s perfect.”
He smiled and nuzzled my neck. “Do you want to eat out here?” He asked, nodding towards the small table I had placed there.
“That would be nice.” I agreed.
“Dessert?”
“I think so.” I replied but didn’t move as he wrapped his arms around her.
“I’m happy.” He whispered.
“Yeah?” I turned around with a smile and cupped his face. “Aren’t you usually.”
He nodded. “I like my life, my job, my family and friends. But I’ve never been so excited to get up because of someone. You make me feel like I’m really living.” He admitted.
“Caleb…” I trailed off and he leaned down to kiss me again, long and slow and making me forget about what I was about to tell him, making me moan instead.
“I really don’t want to fuck this up.” He admitted, leaning his forehead against mine.
“Me either.” I replied.
"I feel like there’s so much against us.” He admitted.
“Isn’t it worth it?” I asked softly, a little afraid of what his answer could be.
“Yes.” He said seriously. “You are worth everything Tara.”
His words warmed my heart, my whole body actually, and I smiled up at him. "If you keep telling me those things..." I trailed off, not knowing exactly how to end the sentence. I was feeling so much, and I knew I was this close to start falling for him. But I didn't want to scare him.
"What?" He asked quietly, pushing my hair out of my face and I wrinkled my nose at the sweet gesture.
"I'll start to believe it." I said honestly. It wasn't like I was worth nothing or thought I was, more like I had lost faith as my relationships had failed one after the other, and not faith in men only, but a little in myself too.
"You should." He said and cracked a small grin, "I mean it."
"You're just perfect." I said back, thinking that even the little flaws he had were part of his perfection. He was perfect how he was.
He shook his head as he sighed, "That's something we have to work on."
I let out a small laugh, "On your perfection?" I teased him as I headed to the kitchen to get the dessert.
"On you thinking that I'm perfect when I'm not." He said once I set the double portion of chocolate panna cotta on the tiny table.
"Please never prove me wrong." I grinned at him, keeping the moment lighter as I sat on his lap and reached for the teaspoon to dig it into the dessert.
"But I'm not perfect." He protested with a frown on his face, his hand reaching for my wrist and leading my bite to his mouth. God I loved this.
"But!" I paused to grin at him, "You're perfect how you are." I pointed out, basically voicing my thoughts and only making him groan. "To me." I added.
He sighed, "Your expectations are way too high." He said a little dramatically, a little silly, then let me feed him another bite. "This is super good. If we're always going to eat like this I'll need to work out more."
I smiled from ear to ear, because I still liked when people complimented my food. For me, cooking for someone was a love gesture. "Don't worry about that." I said in a whisper and wrapped my arm around his neck before kissing his lips softly.
Caleb kissed me back and then pulled away. “Can we eat now?”
“Is it better than me?!” I laughed.
He smirked. “You have had your food right?”
I nodded and licked my lips. “Aren’t I better?”
He grinned, and tangled his hand in my hair. “I guess I should be the judge, I have tasted you..."
“Hmmm. How will you decide?” I smirked.
He kissed my again, sliding his tongue into my mouth. “I’m pretty sure you’re better than any dessert.” He whispered.
“You can still try it if you want.” I laughed against his lips.
“Thank god.” He teased.
“Do you want another glass of wine?” He nodded and I refilled our glasses then he pulled me into his lap. “Now you’re just being clingy.” I teased, rolling my eyes.
“Don’t care.” He admitted, taking a big bite of the canna cotta and groaning. “Damn.”
“Good?”
He nodded. “The best…but you’re still better."
“You’re just trying to get into my pants.”
“First of all? You aren’t wearing pants.” He smirked. “Secondly? I’m serious. Though I bet eating this off of you would be the best.” He smirked and wiggled his brows.
“Oh god that’s such a line.” I laughed.
“Is it working?”
"No." I grinned at his cocky face that was a little cute too. "Yes. But not the line, which is awful by the way, it's the one who says it that makes the difference."
"Would that be me?" He asked, one hand on my thigh and the other taking care of feeding himself.
I nodded, sliding my hand up his neck and tangling my fingers with his hair. "This is my idea of perfect happiness." I confessed after a moment.
He swallowed and gave me a questioning look. "Elaborate that." He said shortly, too busy stuffing his mouth to talk.
"A night home with a man I adore, eating dessert and feeling..." I trailed off, not sure about which word to use. "Just happy."
"You're not as good with words as I thought you'd be you know." He teased me.
"I just told you I adore you and that's all I get?! Way to ruin the perfect moment of happiness." I protested even though I was just being silly.
He let out a laugh, the deep kind that made me want to squeal in delight. "Do you adore me?" He asked, this time more seriously but God his voice was still so low and warm. I just nodded, biting down on my lip. "No one ever told me that." He added.
"Because you never met a girl who was smart enough to realize she had no other choice to adore you since you're so amazing." I explained and even if I was being silly I meant it too.
"My ego is about to explode." He grinned at me.
I sighed again and nuzzled his neck, hiding from him. "I give up." I announced.
"On me?" He asked as his large hand moved on my back to caress me gently.
"Yes of course." I replied in monotone, making it obvious I wasn't serious.
He kept quiet a moment and I took advantage of that to close my eyes and inhale his cologne. I found myself loving to hide against his neck, it made me feel...safe. "So, if this is your idea of perfect happiness...wouldn't you like going out instead?" He asked.
"Yes I would." I answered then pulled my head back to look into his eyes. "I want to do everything with you." I told him, meaning it. I wanted to live this relationship, all of it.
"You say that and his mind goes dirty." Caleb smirked.
"I never knew this side of you before." I laughed.
"The pervy side?"
"Yes. I didn't even know you knew that word."
He poked me and I laughed. "I tried hard to not let you see that side...." He admitted, trailing off slowly.
"Caleb.."
"I wanted you since the first day I saw you. I didn't know you would also be the girl who changed my mind about everything I knew about relationships....I just thought you were-"
"Hot?" I smirked.
"Yes." He laughed. "But it was more than that." He blinked, thinking hard. "It was like....everything about you did it for me."
blushed a little. "I'm sorry I didn't meet you first." I whispered, almost embarrassed to admit it.
He tilted my head up. "If you had it would have been different. I wouldn't have gotten to know you..become your friend."
"But...god Caleb there were so many times when you had to watch me with John..." I trailed off. We hadn't really talked about me and John since we got together. It wasn't exactly something I wanted to do. But I knew we needed to.
"I know." He agreed and then sighed. "Do you want to talk about that now?" He asked.
I bit down on my lip and shook my head on instinct. It wasn't like I had any problem talking about my ex, the fact that was my current boyfriend's cousin was a problem instead. "Do we have to?" I asked because I knew that eventually we'd have to address the subject.
He shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't know...that's why I asked." He grinned.
"Don't be a smartass just now." I sighed and hid my face in the crook of his neck.
"Maybe not since you're already freaking out and we haven't even started yet." He said softly, rubbing my back.
I pulled my head back instead to look at him. "I'm not freaking out." I protested since I didn't want him to have the wrong impression. "But what's to say really? All we have to do is decide when to tell him."
"Is that what worrying you?" He asked and made a face. The thought wasn't thrilling him either and it showed.
I nodded, playing with the collar of his shirt. "It doesn't matter what we say, it can't go well. I can't imagine even one scenario where you and John don't end up fighting. Let's be real Caleb we already saw a preview that day at my bakery. And I hate that you might ruin the relationship you have with him because of me."
He let out a long sigh, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my forehead. "We'll worry about that when it happens." He said and I didn't know if that was really wise or it was just a way to procrastinate.
I sighed myself. "Okay." I smiled even if it was a little forced. "What are your plans for tonight?" I asked, changing the subject and giving him a significant look. I couldn't wait to sleep with him and wake up with him the morning after.
Caleb licked his lips and swallowed. Was that hard to answer? “I should go I have to be up early tomorrow morning.”
I just blinked at him. What? “Go? Like back to your place?” I asked, clearly confused.
“Unless I work here now. Did things change?” He asked with a smirk but I just pouted.
“You’re not going to stay?” I asked softly, trying not to act too upset even if I was.
“I’ll see you tomorrow wont I?”
I pouted again. Meh. “Um. Yeah, I mean I’ll be at work…I have to get up early too Caleb it’s not too far from the winery.”
He cracked his neck again while I wondered just...why. “I don’t want us to move too fast.” He replied.
That didn't sound good and I felt my face drop. “….move too fast?”
“I mean. I want us to progress like a normal couple….wait a few dates before spending the night…” He trailed off.
“…We already slept together.” I reminded him. “A lot.”
“I know. And that’s just the thing. I was treating you like any other girl I’d been with before. But I want to know more than just your body. I want to try being an actual adult for once in my life and do things the right way.”
“There’s no right or wrong way…” I replied, trying to understand.
“Isn’t there? Clearly neither of us did this right in the past.” He pointed out.
I stared at him a long moment. He had said the only thing I couldn't argue about. With John it had been a disaster and with Andy maybe even worse, while he had a divorce in his past already. So maybe yes I wasn't good at relationships, but at least I couldn't say it was for the lack of trying, while I had the feeling that it was the opposite for Caleb. Either that or we simply had met the wrong people. Now, was I that naive to think he was the right one already? No, but I really hoped this was the case. "Okay." I said eventually, softly.
He frowned, pushing my hair out of my face. "I don't like okays. Tell me what you're thinking."
"No Caleb I get it. It wasn't okay as I'm not telling you what I'm thinking but just...okay. What you said make sense, I only wish you told me before I invited you over for dinner." I explained quietly, trying not to be too upset about it because truth was I wanted to fall asleep against his hard chest and I didn't care about right or wrong. But that, I wasn't going to tell him.
He studied my face a moment, his hand dropping on my hip. "Why?" He asked simply.
"Because it's going to be hard to kick you out of my apartment right now." I said, forcing a grin and making it sound like I was teasing. Which I wasn't really.
He seemed to relax at my words as he grinned back at me. "What are we going to do about it?" He asked.
I got up and pulled away from him, playing innocent. "Just be a man, kiss me goodnight and go home." And next time I'm not going to invite you over, I added in my mind.
“Okay.” He grinned, using my own word and not adding anything else. Great. He cupped my face and kissed me gently, once and then again until he got carried away and he was wrapping his arms around my waist and tugging me into him, sliding his tongue against mine and groaning into my mouth. “You don’t know how much I want to stay.” He whispered against my lips, fisting my shirt in his hand.
“That was some goodnight kiss." I smiled up at him, meaning it but also biting my tongue.
“I do his best.” He chuckled and then kissed my nose before letting me go and grabbing his jacket. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
I nodded with no enthusiasm. “Tomorrow.”
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