caught in the overflow

"So I can come by the house next Thursday." I told the brunette sitting across the desk in my office, smiling at her.
"Great! Here's my number." She grabbed my hand and wrote directly on it. "And um, you can call even if it's not about the house." She replied, smiling as she got up and turned around in her sky high heels and passed Colbie by. Wait. Colbie!?
"Colbie." I replied, looking at her. "What are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to bring by some cookies..." She trailed off. "I didn't realize your new job was such a babe magnet." She said, spitting the words out bitterly.
"Excuse me?" I rose a brow at her.
"Nothing." She said, setting the plate of cookies on my desk.
"Colbie."

"What?"
"You don't get to get jealous every time you see a woman talking to me." I said seriously, my eyes cold.
"Talking? She was basically fucking you already in her mind." She retorted.
"Even if she was...so what?" I said back, glaring at her, "She wasn't doing anything wrong."
She sat down on the chair across my desk and gave me a glare back. "She could've been less obvious."
"And why in gods name?" I asked even though it wasn't really a question. She was just being ridiculous.
"Because you're expecting a baby from me!!!" She spat, her tome bitter.
"I really can't see your point." I said quietly and I didn't even care. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote the girls number down...what was her name again? Eryn Matthews.
"What are you doing?" She asked, breaking the silence.
I glanced up at her, "Guess." I answered flatly.
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Oh my god are you going to call her?! Really?! You can't do that!!!" She said a little too loud.
"Colbie, it's work!" I said back and started to feel frustrated all over again. I thought we had made a step forward the other night, I was wrong. What was new. I was always wrong with her.
"Work my a.ss." She muttered under her breath, leaning back in her chair and setting her hands on her tummy. "She wants to f.uck you."
I groaned and ran my hand through my hair. "And even if she does?" I asked her, tired of her nonsense. I had no intention to sleep with that girl but now Colbie was making me change my mind. "I see no wedding band here, am I blind? No wait, not only that! I don't even have a girlfriend!" I spat, my voice dripping sarcasm. "Stop it Colbs. Or I'll kick you out of my office." I added more seriously and grabbed one cookie. Yum.
"I thought you said you weren't going to date."
I looked at her pointedly. "And because I said that it means no girl will ever hit on me?" I asked.
"Cocky." She rolled her eyes.
"What do you want Colbie?" I asked, my hands on my hips.
"I just wanted to see you." She admitted. "I know you love my cookies."
I softened for a moment. "I do. They're delicious."
"Eryn? What the hell kind of a name is that?" She asked, seeing the paper I'd written on.
"Seriously?" I asked, glaring at her.
She sighed. "I'm sorry....I shouldn't be like this. But fuck Jax I wanted to kick her skinny ass."
"Why?"
"Because you're mine!!!" She yelled back and I sat down in my chair and looked over at her.
"But I'm not." I replied, too calm almost.
She took a deep breath. "Yeah." She tucked her bangs behind her ear and leaned back, rubbing her stomach slowly. "I hate it." She admitted. "I'll go."
"No." I stopped her as I reached for another cookie because they were a drug. "Stay." I added more softly.
"But you don't want me here." She said quietly with a little pout on her lips.
"Never said that." I retorted, keeping my eyes on her and how she kept rubbing her stomach. Did that count as cuddling for Ruby? I wondered what they felt. "I don't mind you staying as long as you don't act like a crazy girlfriend."
"I might stick to the crazy part." She made a face.
I laughed at that because that was pretty silly too say. Awful too, but also silly. "Don't, you're not like that...I know you." I added with a shrug.
"I am instead! The thought of you with another girl...oh my god I can't even!!!" She got all heated all over again, running her hands through her hair and looking up at the ceiling. "It's your fault. I wasn't like that before."
I bit my tongue, not wanting to remind her that she hadn't had a boyfriend for a long time so what did she know really? "I could be as jealous of you as you are of me you know. I don't think you'd like it." I said instead.
"As if there's someone who's willing to f.uck me." She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Please."
"I would." I admitted, eating another cookie because they were mine and I intended to eat them all. "Your body like this is so sexy."
Her eyes widened at the confession. "Do it. Let's just do it on your desk. Now." She said seriously.
I shook my head. "No." I told her again and it was weird because I wasn't used to tell her no much. But that was before. "Not a good idea."
"Yeah because you'd rather f.uck Miss perfect body." She grumbled, looking annoyed again. Oh mood swings, I loved them.
"If I wanted to fuck someone I would've done that already." I commented simply.
"Well I want to but no one is writing their phone number on my hand." Colbie grumbled.
I rose a brow. "If someone did would you?" I asked.
"If someone did what?"
I shrugged. "Want to sleep with you."
She blinked. "That's irrelevant." She replied.
I leaned in. "That's not an answer Colbie."
She thought about it for a moment. Then shook her head. "No. As horny as I am you're still the only man I want." She admitted.
I looked at her for a few more moments and then sighed as I shook my head. I opened my mouth to speak but instead grabbed another cookie. That was the kind of admission I didn't need to hear, even if it felt good. "Do you seriously not want to?"
"What?" I asked her.
"I mean let's be honest Jax, you have a pretty healthy sex drive."
I groaned. "I'm still a man. But I also have a thing called control." I replied.
"But what could it hurt?" She asked.
"It will just confuse us more." I shook my head.
"I'm not confused at all." She said seriously. "You're it for me."
"Colbie. Stop."
She sighed. "You suck." She pouted and I widened my eyes before laughing a little.
"You're a little old to be pouting and saying things like that."
She grabbed a napkin and chucked it at me. "If I'm old you're old." She replied.
"Yes I'm old. You're old. We are even having a baby so we're even older." I grinned at her, slightly amused.
"That's not even funny." She pouted again.
I thought it was instead. Either I acted like it was or we were back to be a walking disaster. "See why we can't have s.ex? Because when people have babies they stop sleeping together." I went on teasing her.
"That's after the baby's born." She retorted stubbornly, "We can have fun a few more months."
"You're exhausting Colbs." I signed then sighed louder when I ate another cookie. The last one.
She gave me a wicked look. "I can...in many ways..." She trailed off but her attempt to secure me it only looked cute to me. I wasn't going to f.uck her, no way in hell, no matter how how or desirable she was. Just no.
I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth but my phone started ringing. "Jackson Cole." I answered quietly and I heard a voice I didn't know. But she had the good sense to announce herself. She was Sandy.
"Travis asked me to call you to tell you he's sorry but he has to cancel today's lunch." She told me quietly.
"Oh. I guess it's okay." I told her back, wondering what my brother was up to. Was he so busy he couldn't even call me?! Or...I knew what he was trying to do. It wasn't working.
"I'm few if you want..." She trailed off.
For a moment I considered the offer. Then I glanced at Colbie who was looking at me with her eyes narrowed. "I have work to catch up on today...maybe tomorrow." I told her even though I wasn't sure. I had no intention to do anything with her, one date had been enough, but she was nice to be with and I could use some distraction at least while I ate.
As I killed the call, I noticed Colbie was back on her weird mood. I ignored it. "So, you were just saying you're going to give me a break since you're so exhausting?" I said, teasing her. I missed joking with her...along other things.
"I think I'm gonna go." Colbie said, grabbing her bag.
"Colbie."
"Look. I miss you. When I'm with you I feel like my heart is breaking all over again. Seeing other women realize how sexy and wonderful you are turns me a little homicidal. I hate that you wont touch me...kiss me....make love to me. I hate that the last time you did I didn't realize it was the last. But I understand that I'm not making things easier by pushing and acting like a jealous girlfriend."
"This is what you wanted."
"Stop." She said seriously. "Stop using that day against me. I already owned up to it. I already said I made a mistake. I was a selfish foolish bitch. But I apologized, and by now you have to know how serious I am about you. Don't act like you're just staying away because I pushed you away. You're just doing it because you're choosing to at this point."
"If you had let me in we'd be together now."
"And you're letting one mistake take that away from us. Do you really not trust me enough to know that I'm serious? Do you think I'll meet someone else? Do you think anyone out there will fit me the way you did? Make me feel the way you did?"
"How would you know? I was the first man you were with after your ex."
"And I was the first girl you really tried to have a relationship with." She replied. "Is that what the problem is? You think maybe there's someone out there that's better for you?"
"Colbie." I tried to stop her, in vain.
"Because I want it all Jackson. The good and the bad. I want a life with you. More kids, more laughter and teasing and fights and making up and raising our children in the house you built for us."
"For you."
"No. I bought that house for you too. I know you know that. I see your touch in everything you do. I can't see myself ever getting over you Jax. If that means I have to live my life alone....I guess that's just life."
I stared at her, totally unimpressed and definitely disappointed. "You're being so dramatic Colbie, with no reason at all." I commented shortly, tired of hearing her things over and over again.
"I'm just telling you the truth!" She retorted, crossing her arms against her chest.
"I thought you came here in peace...do you want to fight now?" I asked her while I rethought about her words. No matter how many times I had tried to explain my point of view to her, she just didn't understand it. And that p.issed me off.
She shook her head, as stubborn as ever, "No I don't want to fight. But I'm tired of being pushed away."
"Oh I think I know how that feels." I replied sarcastically then turned serious. "Do you know what I'm tired of? I'm tired of you pushing me. I'm tired of you telling me always the same things and assuming things that aren't even true. I'm tired of you wanting what you want WHEN you want...should I go on? I can if you want."
"I waited instead." She retorted, but it was weak.
"I know how it feels to wait too." I spat bitterly.
She glared at me, "Is that what you're trying to do? You want to make me pay for all my mistakes?"
"No Colbie, damn it! Do you even listen to me?!" I told her, my tone raising. "What did I tell you the last time I saw you?"
"I...you told me many things." She blinked at me and looked surprised by my change of mood. I had never been like this when we were together.
"I told you I need time and space and some f.uckimg tranquillity." I groaned because I didn't have any of that. I wondered if I ever would. "I don't mind you coming here if it's just for a little chat, and you were really nice to bring me cookies but couldn't just for once not bring me all our drama too?!"
"You rejected me and there's only so much a girl can take." She replied, totally out of contest and totally ignoring my words. What was new.
I shook my head. "All we're doing today is take step backwards. You should go Colbie."
"Fine."
"Colbie."
"I know. I need to give you space to feel whatever it is you're feeling. I wish that's what I'd asked for. But fuck Jax how did you not just barge back into my life like I'm doing? I'm so impatient. I want you now. Actually She want you like a week ago. If you love me we're just wasting time not being together and life is too short for that."
"Are you sure none of your family is a lawyer? You all sure talk a lot."
She laughed at that. "No." She replied. "I hate lawyers." She scrunched up her face and I softened a little.
"No offense Colbie. But cute faces and yummy cookies don't really change that you hurt me."
"What does change that?" She asked. "And please....please tell me now if this is always something that's going to be between us. If you're always going to hold this against me then we can't be together and I'll walk away...but if you really love me then tell me how to fix this."
"Don't you think I really love you?" I asked her with a brow raised and she better give me the right answer because I was running out of patience.
She licked her lips. "I think you do." She paused then exploded again. "But if you love me why don't you feel the urge to be with me? The start what would be the rest of our life together?"
I leaned back in my seat, "I do have that urge and nothing would be easier than that...but you want answers I can't give you right now. You said it yourself Colbs, if I'm going to be always mad at you for what you've done or if I'm going to use it against you then we have no chance to work as a couple."
"Yeah." She retorted weakly.
"I need to understand that because right now? Everything you say that I don't like just make me flip and that's not good." I explained quietly, trying to make things clear, "I also need you to stop asking me the same things over and over again because it doesn't help and I feel suffocating."
She widened her pretty eyes at me. "Suffocating?! Oh my god Jax do you think I'm that bad?!"
"No, I know that you're not. You're nothing like you've been lately." I shook my head, my face serious. "All I'm asking you is to be the amazing Colbie I fell in love with, please stop pushing me and just let things happen."
"I'm scared...what if I won't like it?" She confessed in a small voice.
I ran my hand through my hair because I knew what she was talking about. I had felt the same fear when she had pushed me away. "Only time will tell."