"Tara, there's a guy who's asking for you at the counter." Dennis said as he popped his head into the kitchen.
My thoughts went straight to Andy and I had to lean against the table a moment. I hadn't talked to him in weeks, if not months but it wasn't for his lack of trying, it was because I didn't want to. "Is it Andy?" I managed to ask, my voice cracking and betraying me.
My friend shook his head, "Nope. But he's still hot. Gorgeous even." He smirked at me.
I rolled my eyes and followed him into the bakery. Relief washed over me when I spotted Jaden, Caleb's brother, only to be replaced a second later by worry. Why was he here? What did he want from me? I wore a smile of fake confidence as I headed to the counter. "Hey. I wasn't expecting to see you here." I told him softly and that was true.
My thoughts went straight to Andy and I had to lean against the table a moment. I hadn't talked to him in weeks, if not months but it wasn't for his lack of trying, it was because I didn't want to. "Is it Andy?" I managed to ask, my voice cracking and betraying me.
My friend shook his head, "Nope. But he's still hot. Gorgeous even." He smirked at me.
I rolled my eyes and followed him into the bakery. Relief washed over me when I spotted Jaden, Caleb's brother, only to be replaced a second later by worry. Why was he here? What did he want from me? I wore a smile of fake confidence as I headed to the counter. "Hey. I wasn't expecting to see you here." I told him softly and that was true.
"I was in desperate need for a coffee and my brother says yours is the best." He grinned in his usual way as he raised his cup. "Even though he might be biased."
"Yeah he probably is." I admitted and sat on the stool next to his, deflating a little because it was obvious that he wasn't here just because of my coffee.
He nodded slowly and his face got suddenly more serious. "He seems...really into you." He said, making it obvious he was picking his words carefully.
I appreciated his tact if you could call it that, but I hated tiptoeing around things so I decided to go straight to the point. "We're really into each other. I care deeply about Caleb and honestly even if it was bad timing and there's a lot of drama going on I think he's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm serious about him or I wouldn't let him risk his family for us." I told him simply.
He blinked at me then broke into a chuckle. "Damn girl. I wasn't expecting that." He shook his head.
I felt myself blush. "I was just trying to make things clear." I said almost apologetically.
"I like that. And I like that you have no doubts about him...the situation is what it was and I wanted to make sure it was worth it." He said back with a shrug, no judgment in his tone.
"I-" I cut myself off when I was about to say that I loved Caleb who, as if on cue, walked into my bakery in that exact moment.
"Speak of the devil" Jaden grinned at his brother.
Caleb rose a brow at him. "Kind of far to drive for a cup of coffee." He pointed out.
Jaden shrugged. "You said it was the best." He grinned.
"And you wanted to interrogate my girlfriend." Caleb added, doing the math pretty easily.
"Guilty." He winked at me but I wasn't upset or anything. Considering the circumstances, it hadn't been bad. Jaden's eyes moved away from me and he blinked. "Hey I know you." He added. "Are you single yet?"
I lit up as Lila and Trav walked into the cafe, Lila looking a little less than her chirpy self. "Maybe." She grumbled.
"Never actually." Travis added.
Jaden whistled. "All the good ones are taken." He shook his head.
"What's wrong?" I asked, assessing the tension between my cousin and his girl.
"I made her drive here." Travis shrugged nonchalantly, of course not affected by his girlfriend's mood or anything really.
"So?" Jaden blinked.
"Are you okay?" I asked, knowing that the last time Lila had driven she had gotten in an accident with her pregnant sister. That had to fuck you up a little.
"I dunno." She admitted.
"You did great." Travis replied.
"Better to drive on a long trip and get it over with." Caleb told her softly.
"Exactly!" Travis kissed the top of her head and she nodded.
"I know...it's just different."
"I'm definitely missing something." Jaden said, looking around the room.
"I got hit by a drunk driver a few months ago." Lila explained.
Jaden looked angry suddenly, "Damn, I'm sorry. Tell me that guy is in jail or you're at least suing him for everything he has."
"Yes." Travis replied. "To both."
"Not that I'm not thrilled but what are you doing here?" I asked, running to finally hug Travis tight.
He hugged me back, squeezing me as he looked down at me. "Didn't Caleb tell you?" He asked with a brow raised and I shook my head.
"He didn't because it was a surprise! God, do you ever hear me when I talk to you?!" Lila said, showing an annoyance that was so out of character.
Travis shot her a blank stare that was worth more than one million words. "Touchy aren't we today?"
"She just had a long drive!" I cut into the conversation, pulling away from my cousin to busy myself behind the counter while I wondered why my boyfriend had invited them. I was happy about that, but why? Was I missing something? "A coffee will fix everything."
Lila sighed and gave me a wide smile. "Thank you, finally someone who understands me." She hit Travis playfully before sitting across from the counter.
"So what are you guys going to do exactly?" Jaden asked, looking amused.
"Wine tasting." Caleb answered with a shrug, "Want to come too?"
He shook his head, "No thanks. I'll leave you lovebirds to your double date."
Trav groaned as he gravitated closer to Lila, standing next to her and setting his large hand on the small of her back. "You're making it sound lame." He muttered.
"Nah I'm just jealous that I don't have your girlfriend." Jaden smirked then handed me a bill that I refused with a shake of my head. "Thanks Tara. I'll see you soon hopefully." He dismissed us with a small wave of his hand before heading out of my bakery.
"So Caleb, are we going to be drunk by the end of the tasting?" Lila asked, a mischievous grin on her lips as she sipped her coffee.
"I hope not because you-" Trav started but Lila cut him off.
"Stop it. I'm okay." She spat. What was going on there?
Caleb finally got closer to me, his chest resting against my back and making me relax. "I doubt it. Maybe a little tipsy." He said with a wink. I was barely paying attention though, I was still thinking about his brother. And John. And all the things we were avoiding.
"That's fine by me." Lila grinned wide while Trav rolled his eyes. "Where is the winery? Or wait, is it your own?"
"Nope, one that just opened." My man explained quietly as he glanced at his watch. "We should go now. You can follow my car, it's not far."
"I'm not driving." Lila announced as she hopped down the stool, Travis just sighed while I was grateful I'd have a little time alone to speak with Caleb.
“What’s going on?” I asked once we were in his car, looking back at him with a confused look on my face.
“You said you would take a half day with me.” He reminded me.
“Yeah but you didn’t say anything about Trav and Lila coming.” I pointed out. Not that I minded that but I was just curious of why.
“I thought it might be good to hang out with family.” He replied, shrugging.
I opened my mouth to say that with family he meant my family, the one that didn't mind if we were dating, and then sighed before reaching up to kiss him. “Thanks.” I whispered against his mouth.
“If I’d have known Jaden was in town I would have invited him too….plus one of his many girlfriends since he doesn’t like being a third wheel.” Caleb grinned.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “He’d probably flirt with Lila the whole time and piss off his date.”
“And seeing as how his dates are barely legal I’m guessing their maturity level isn’t super high.” He laughed.
“Oh god Caleb we have to do something about him.” I shook my head.
“I’m just saying….” He shrugged. "My family can’t really judge.”
The words hit heavy between us and I sighed. “I guess not.”
“What did he say to you?” He asked as he looked behind us to make sure Trav and Lil were following then turned back to side glance at me.
“Nothing really.” I said simply. “I did most of the talking.”
He blinked, looking surprised, “Really?”
I nodded and tucked my hair behind my ear and looked out the window.
“What did you say then?” He went on when I didn't add anything.
I turned to smile at him. “I told him I liked you.” I replied, smirking and biting down on my lip.
“I think he knew that already.” He laughed, turning up the air conditioning as he noticed me fan myself with my hand. “Are you hot?”
“A little.” I nodded, setting the vent towards my face and sighing. That had to be my hormones since I was pmsing.
“Are you okay? He didn’t make you feel worse did he? I’ll kick his ass.” He said seriously.
I shook my head. “No…if anything I think I made him understand that we’re not just rebounding or having a fling….but I still feel like we’re always running away from our problems.”
“Tara, you and I don’t have problems. At least not yet….I mean I’m sure we will. But our problems are about us and other people. I don’t want to let them mess this up.”
"Okay it might not be between us but it's still a problem Caleb." I said seriously, partially agreeing with him but also having the feeling that was a convenient way to put things.
"And I don't want it to mess up our relationship, did you hear that?" He repeated slowly and I didn't know if he was in denial or something.
I shook my head. "It still affects us." I pointed out stubbornly, holding my ground as usual.
He glanced at me briefly as he drove, his hand running through his hair nervously. "What, are you having second thoughts or something?"
"No god, no." I answered hurriedly, placing my hand on his. "If anything I'm afraid you could." I confessed.
"No Tara. You should already know that I'm not changing my mind about you, about us." He said back firmly.
"And I believe you." I tried to reassure him, meaning it. "But I also believe that we should do something, anything, to get out of this mess or sooner or later it WILL ruin us."
"Okay but what could we do right now?" He asked as he let out a breath, parking and sounding defeated.
I didn't like that tone. Truth was I had no idea of what I could do, I'd do anything but I felt so powerless. "Nothing. You're right." I said quietly and opened the door of his car, ready to get out.
He grabbed my wrist before I could instead, giving me a look that broke me. "I don't want to fight with you." He said softly.
I loved him. That was why I was so upset about this whole situation. Only I couldn't tell him, not yet. "I know baby. I don't want to fight either...let's just have a good time today." I suggested even if I was forcing myself. We were with Trav and Lila, I didn't have any other option anyway and I was genuinely happy to see them.
“I hate this look.” Caleb admitted, running his thumb against my jaw.
"What?” She blinked back at him, confused.
“You’re forcing yourself to have fun. To be happy. You shouldn’t have to.” He swallowed and I felt guilty even if I didn't really have to. Not because of John, but because of him.
“What we did affected other people Caleb.” I pointed out, sounding like a broken record.
“What we did wasn’t wrong.” He retorted. “And John will get over it. If he had really loved you he would never of made you feel second to him.”
“I don’t feel guilty about being with you.” I shook my head. "Never think that. I feel guilty for turning someone you thought of as a friend, someone who shares your genes even, and made him hate you.”
“John has a tendency to react without thinking and then forget what he was even mad about. Do you know how many girls that I dated in college that he hooked up with after? He has no right to be angry for more than a little while.”
“You dating a girl in college is a little different than dating the girl he lived with.” I pointed out once again.
“I’ll talk to him. Tonight. I’ll call him. I don’t want you to have to force happiness when I know how much you love Lila and Trav and being outside in this weather.” He commented.
“It is nice out today.” I gave him a smile that I hoped was more convicning.
“And also a little breezy so I’m hoping that your skirt flies up a little.” He smirked.
I widened my eyes before laughing. “Oh god Caleb.” I shook my head. “Like you’ve never seen my thighs before?” I laughed harder.
“Still.” He grinned. “I’ll never get sick of looking at you.” He winked and kissed me. “I’ll make your fun real even if it’s the last thing I do.” He whispered.
“Bring on the wine!” Lila said, smiling as we both got out of the car. “Your car is hot as fuck.” She said seriously, eyeing his Corvette.
“You just got a new car.” Trav chuckled.
“You want to drive it later?" Caleb asked, watching her eyes go wide.
“Are you kidding?” She asked back. I wasn't a big fan of cars, but Lila was apparently.
“No, nothing like a smooth drive in that car to get over a fear.” Caleb winked at her and she beamed at him. In that moment I loved him a little more.
“Maybe…”
“You should.” Trav said, grinning and looking like a totally different person than his usual surly self.
“I don’t get it. It’s just a car.” I shook my head. “I mean Caleb is sexy driving it and all but I’d think he was sexy driving a mini-van.”
“That will never happen.” Caleb said while Travis and Lila cracked up.
“Look how horrified he looks.” Lila commented before moving her eyes our surroundings. “Oh this is so beautiful!” She looked over the winery, which was indeed quite a sight. Not as beautiful as Caleb's though. “I’d love to paint this.”
“You should" Trav said, setting his hand on her lower back as she took a few pictures on her phone.
“It’s not as lovely as Mara.” Ia said. “But god it’s pretty everywhere in Napa, just wait until the sunset.”
Caleb beamed at me and reached out to push my hair out of my face. My heart skipped a beat.
"You guys are so cute." Lila pointed out as Caleb kissed me and I was pretty sure I was blushing.
I pulled back but still leant against my man's side, needing him more than usual. "So are you two."
"Travis hates being called cute so I guess we're not." She grinned at me then glanced at my cousin.
"Any guy hates that." Caleb added, of course on the boys team.
"Amen." Travis grinned as he looked around. "So how is this wine tasting going to be exactly?"
"You've never been to one?" Caleb asked, looking surprised.
He shook his head. "Nope. I'm always locked in my office, I have no time to appreciate good wine and a beautiful landscape."
"Also he's obsessed with beer." Lila added, looking somehow amused.
"Must be a family thing." Caleb commented nonchalantly as he squeezed me against his side. "But to answer your question we're going to take a small tour and drink. That's all."
Travis grinned while I just enjoyed the mood, being with two people that supported us with no judgement. "I think I can do that."
"I'm ready to start drinking too." I added, looking up at Caleb with a smile on my face.
His gorgeous eyes met mine and for a moment I saw a doubt into them, a silent question which I answered to by nodding slightly. I was fine. We were fine. "Okay I'm going to find Mark and tell him we're here." He said back before walking away.
As soon as he disappeared, Lila was on me. "How are things going?" She asked, sounding impatient.
"Eh." I made a face.
"What happened?" Travis blinked and looked absolutely clueless. Guys.
I shook my head, dismissing the question because I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I didn't want to ruin this day. "Long story. Let's just say that nothing changed from the last time we spoke." I told Lila, referring to the two hours long phone call we had a week before. I was super happy that we got along, that I had found a friend in my cousin's girlfriend.
"Meh. It will get better though, I promise!" She told me encouragingly. I wished she was right.
Trav groaned. "I'm lost, can someone tell me what's going on?" He protested, already on the grumpy side.
"I'll fill you in later." I said even though I wasn't sure if I wanted to. Not today maybe? I was too afraid that if I talked to him I'd break down and cry like I had done in the past whenever there had been something or someone upsetting me. Trav was really like a big brother to me.
Caleb saved me from my cousin's questioning stare as he reappeared with a ridiculously good looking man. He was tall, with dark hair and even darker eyes, definitely different from my man but still handsome. Were all Caleb's friends gorgeous? Was he part of a secret hot men's club and I didn't know? As long as they were men only that was fine by me.
“Welcome to Athena Winery.” Mark grinned and reached out to shake everyone’s hand. “I’m glad you all could make it.”
“It’s lovely.” I said sweetly.
“Mark this is my girlfriend Tara.” Caleb winked at me and I blushed a little. “Her cousin Travis and his girlfriend Lila.”
“Thrilled to have you. Would you like a tour first or should we get straight to the tasting.” The Mark man wasked, being both nice and professional.
“Tasting.” I said firmly, making Mark laugh.
“Such a good answer. I inherited this winery when my great uncle passed away, I’m trying to bring it back to its glory days. Luckily I have a pro to go to for advice.” Mark smiled at my man and he nodded.
“Happy to help.” Caleb replied honestly while I found myself proud of how much of a good man he was. Athena was technically a competitor and he'd still help, no matter what. I also had to say that Mara won anyway, it was the best hands down.
“How do you know Caleb?” Lila asked as we walked upto an outdoor bar set up on a small hill next to the winery.
“Because of me.” A girl popped her head out from under the bar and smiled at Caleb before running to give him a hug. Who was she now? “Caleb and I go way back.” She replied. “Mark is my step-brother. Isn’t it beautiful what he’s done with the place?”
“Definitley.” Lila agreed.
“Way back?” I asked, looking pointedly at the girl.
“For years! I went to preschool with Hailey.” She said back with a little too much excitement.
“My sister.” Caleb explained. “Though you could be a sister too for how much you were at our place.” He added, but I didn't buy that. No girl on earth would want to be like a sister to Caleb.
“We used to make Caleb play barbies with us.” She giggled. Ugh.
“Fuck let’s keep some things secret.” Caleb shook his head while Travis chuckled.
“You’re laughing at that? You know how to braid little girls hair.” Lila pointed out.
Travis shrugged, way too confident to be affected. “True. Through that’s not the same.” He smirked and Caleb rose a brow at him.
“Trav has a niece who has him wrapped around her tiny fingers. Actually she has us all wrapped around her fingers.” Lila explained.
“Poppy?” I asked knowingly, wondering how she was now. “I bet she’s so big now! I haven’t seen her since she was 2.”
The girl interrupted, because of course. “Alright. Do you guys like reds? Whites? Dry? Sweet?”
“Yes.” Lila said seriously. Trav’s low chuckle was thrwarted by the girl’s laughter. What was her name?
“My kind of girl.” Mark grinned.
“Less flirting more wine pouring!” His sister or whatever said, slapping her brother playfully on the arm.
Mark laughed but I was still busy studying his sister, deciding if I liked her or not. Probably not by the way she kept glancing at Caleb. Like a sister he had said...like a sister my ass. "Let's start with a dry white, slightly sparkling." The black haired hottie said and filled our glasses, explaining what kind of wine it was but I was barely paying attention. "Do you know how to study a wine?" He asked and when the holy sister tried to speak, I was faster.
"Roll the glass, look at the way the wine runs against the glass, sniff it, focus on the color then take a sip." I answered simply.
Mark blinked, then laughed again. I liked him. "Wow I'm impressed." He teased.
Caleb wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pressing me slightly against his side, "That's my girl." He grinned, pride in his voice. Good.
Lila frowned, "That's not fair, she's Caleb's girlfriend of course she knows everything about wine tasting!" She pouted like the silly girl she was then sipped the wine, "It's so good."
Travis nodded in approval even if he looked a little out of his element. It was almost funny to watch. "Not as good as Caleb's." He added jokingly.
"No comparisons please." Mark grinned along with the guys, not taking that seriously. Yes I definitely liked him.
"I agree." That brunette girl felt the need to add and I fought the urge to roll my eyes while she winked at Caleb. Ugh.
I downed the rest of my glass, ready to move on, then noticed there was a name written on her work shirt. Nina.
"Woah, easy darling." Mark chuckled, his lips baring his white perfect teeth. If only his sister was half as nice as he was.
"Sorry, I'm thirsty." I shrugged and blushed for sure, biting down on my lip.
He gave me an amused look and went on with the explanation of this wine I couldn't care less about, so I zoned out maybe a few seconds, thinking about that time I had gone wine tasting with John. We had gone to Caleb's winery. "I don't know if any of you loves cooking, but this wine is actually great with starters and fish." He said.
"Take notes Lila." Travis grinned at her, getting nothing but a roll of her eyes back.
I, on the other hand, already knew that. Because when you cooked and owned a place that served food you also had to know what kind of drink went with different food, or at least the basics.
"Don't you like cooking Lila?" The Nina girl asked, apparently not big on minding her damn business.
"It depends." She shrugged nonchalantly.
Nina's eyes moved to me as I idly played with the rim of my empty glass. "What about you?" She asked me, as if the wanted to be my friend now. No.
"I own and run Archer's bakery so yeah I love cooking." I answered in a completely neutral voice because I was so not going to be friendly with a girl who kept looking at my man as if she wanted to eat him. And he was completely oblivious to that, of course.
She widened her eyes, "Really?!" She said back, looking surprised.
"Yes. The name is Archer, as Tara Archer." I added with a smile that only showed how proud I was of what I did for a living.
"That place is amazing!" Mark nodded, grabbing our empty glasses, "I had no idea it was yours, I never saw you there."
"She was probably hiding in the back, baking like crazy." Caleb said and reached for my hand, smiling as his thumb traced circles on my palm. Good boy.
"Next time you stop by you should call me." I told him and made sure it was clear that the invitation was for him only, not for Miss holy sister too.
"I definitely will." He grinned at me and I was happy about that because he ran a winery so that meant we could do business together too.
"Perfect." I reached for the clean glass and smirked back at him, "Next?"
“You look so familiar.” Nina told Lila as we made our way through the red wines and switched to whites.
“You do too a little actually.” Lila smiled sweetly and leaned into Travis.
“What do you do for work?” She asked with curiosity. She was supposed to work, not be part of our group damn it.
“I’m an artist.” She replied, “Mostly painting. I’m thinking about painting the scenery here, it’s so lovely.”
“Oh my god you’re Lila Trenton.” Nina clapped. “I saw your show in New York!”
I suppressed a groan but I couldn't help rolling my eyes.
“That makes sense!” Lila smiled. “Are you on the art scene there?”
Nina shook her head. “No not really, I kind of stumbled upon it, but god your work is beautiful. If she does paint Athena you have to buy it from her Mark.”
“I believe you. So we have two beautiful successful women…how exactly did you two end up with them?” He smirked at Caleb. “I mean this one is good looking enough.” He thumbed over to Travis. “But what does she see in you?”
“Careful or I’ll stop giving you any advice.” Caleb teased.
“You know I kid.” He winked at me and I smiled at him after downing another sample of the Rose.
“Why can’t you get a girl like these ones though?” Mark asked Nina which made both me and Lila widen their eyes.
“I’m trying but they’re all straight! What’s your excuse?” Nina asked her brother.
“They’re all taken.” He laughed.
“My excuse was better.” Nina replied, sipping her wine glass and then turning to Caleb. “I swear I can’t stop staring at you. You seem so damn happy it’s like you’re glowing.” Worst excuse of the world.
“Careful, everyone will think he’s pregnant.” Lila teased, making Travis chuckle with Mark and Nina but I was still glancing at Nina instead.
“Seriously though! I don’t think you looked this taken with Selena even on your wedding day.” She admitted and I muttered a curse under my breath.
“You were married?” Lila asked Caleb, even having Travis look up with mild interest. Perfect, talking about that bitch was exactly what I needed to have this day completely ruined.
“I was.”
“She was the worst. I mean she was hot but not even in a good way.” Nina added. “What the fuck kind of a name is Selena?”
“A stripper’s name.” I said automatically.
“Oh my god it so is a strippers name.” Nina laughed. Hilarious.
“My taste in women has grown exponentially.” Caleb said, shaking my head at the girls.
I didn't even blink, taking in his words that were precious to me but I was still set on not jump at that girl's throat. I didn't believe to a single word she was saying and I was under the impression she was just trying to fit our small group. Why was she even there? I didn't want her with us.
"I had no idea you were married." Travis said slowly as he looked at me, I just shrugged and poured myself another glass.
Caleb made a face. "Not something I like to talk about." He said awkwardly while my mood just got worse because, well. Still Selene.
My cousin moved his gaze to my man, "The past is the past." He pointed out and I scoffed. Was it? I drank another long sip even though I was barely tasting it. Ops. "I need a break." He announced as he got up.
Lila rolled her eyes. "He means he needs a smoke."
My cousin didn't even pay attention to her words and I got up instead, happy to be wearing flats because I felt a little unsteady. "I'm coming with you." I said before someone like Nina the fake lesbian could say it. "Travis needs company and I'm the best." I told Caleb who was giving me a questioning look.
We took a few steps away from the small group and I finally rolled my eyes.
"Want one?" Travis offered me a cigarette and I accepted.
"God. I needed this." I breathed out, letting out the smoke.
Trav chuckled. "What's up Tara?" He asked me, seeing through me as usual.
I shrugged as I looked up at him. "I don't like that girl." I pointed out kind of obviously.
"Uh yeah I noticed by the way you kept glaring." He chuckled, "But why?"
"I don't like the way she looks at you and Caleb." I answered in a growl, inhaling deeply. "And why is she even here?!"
This time Travis laughed. "Tara, she said she likes girls."
I dismissed his words. "Everyone's lesbian these days just because they think it's cool." I replied with a shake of my head.
He wrapped his arm around me and squeezed me against his side like he always did. "You're talking nonsense, maybe you should stop drinking." He told me, amusement in his voice.
"I'm telling you Trav, she's full of shit." I said seriously and finished the cigarette.
"God you're stubborn." He commented but was still grinning as we headed back to the wonderful people expecting us.
I glanced at him, "So are you." I grinned. Then went back to my blank face as I sat next to Caleb again. "What did we miss? What are we drinking now?"
"Dessert wines." Lila replied. "Baby I'm a little tipsy."
"Excellent." Trav shook his head then cupped her neck and tilted her head up possesively. "You're a lightweight." He grinned and she beamed up at him. They were such an odd couple, the eternal optimist and tiny Lila with gruff Travis, but they were so obviously in love.
"You're a sexy weight." Lila replied.
"Eew." I laughed at Lila who shrugged. "That's not even a thing."
"If it was Trav would be it." Lila retorted.
"Who wants the harvest peach wine?" Mark asked, pouring it in all the glasses without waiting for an answer. Yay.
"Peach?" I asked.
"It's actually a honey Meade." Nina replied. "It's a little too sweet for my liking but it is a porch pounder."
"Porch pounder?" Lila asked. We were so obviously lost.
"It's a winery term for a drink so smooth you could drink a bottle on your porch and not notice until you were wasted." Caleb explained with a smile.
"Perfect!" I replied a little too happily.
"It's 13% residual sugar and you can definitely taste the honey under he peach."
"Wow." Trav said and made a face. "It tastes like candy."
Caleb laughed and downed his sample, while I condered grabbing the whole bottle.
"I like it." Lila said seriously. "I love peaches!"
"You just love wine." Trav smirked.
"Yes." Lila grinned. "How are you not tipsy? You probably weigh less than me!" She asked me.
"I am a little." I confessed, lying because I was more than a little.
"She just gets bitchy when she drinks while you get silly." Trav grinned wide at me. He was right. He always was.
Lila gave Trav a horrified look. "Tara's never bitchy!" She replied. Oh I was instead.
"Do you have a bathroom?" I asked Mark, feeling the urge to get up out of nowhere. Also to pee.
"In the building and to your left." Nina replied sweetly. I shot her a glare and walked towards the house.
Caleb followed me. "I fucked today up didn't I?" He asked once we were alone. "I just wanted you to have some fun....what did I do wrong Tara? I'm new to this."
I stopped in my tracks and blinked at him as I focused on his face. He looked...guilty? I shook my head hurriedly and everything moved a little faster as if my eyes couldn't follow my head. I didn't even know if that made sense. "No baby, you didn't do anything wrong." I told him and cupped his cheek, my voice coming out soft. A little slow too maybe?
"Why are you mad at me?" He asked, his brows furrowing.
I blinked again. I wasn't sure if I was getting things right. "But I'm not mad at you..." I trailed off quietly.
He set his hands on my hips, his eyes boring into mine and making me want to climb him like a tree and take a nap on his shoulder. "You're being so weird. I've never seen you like this before." He commented in a low voice.
I cracked a grin. "You mean drunk?" I attempted to joke because I wasn't drunk. Not yet. Close to that though.
He shook his head, "I've seen you drunk before and you're nothing like this."
I let out a deep breath as I leaned against him, nuzzling his chest and closing my eyes. Woah everything spun. "I'm really happy you decided to call Lila and Travis, it was an amazing surprise." I said honestly, his arms wrapping around me and making me feel so safe and warm.
"Are you sure?" He asked, kissing the top of my head as I nodded. "Why are you so upset? I feel like I'm failing you and you're not that happy instead. I want to understand....and fix whatever I did wrong."
This time I pulled my head back and stared at him. I didn't want him to think he failed me, ever. "Caleb, you're doing everything right. Perfect even. I can't even start explaining how much it means to me that you surprised me like this, I mean it."
"What is it then?" He asked, sounding frustrated.
"I don't like that girl." I replied seriously, flatly.
He raised one eyebrow. "Who, Nina?!"
"Yes Nina the fake lesbian who can't take her eyes off of you and would turn back straight in a second if only she could get a piece of you." I spat, crossing my arms against my chest.
"Tara did you hear her? She said she like girls! Girls! I'm not a girl." He said back with his eyes wide. God he was so naive.
"That's bullshit." I muttered under my breath. "I don't like her and I don't see why she has to stay with us."
He gave me a long stare. Very long. Either that or I was losing track of time. "You're jealous?"
I didn't know if it was really a question but I knew how to answer anyway. "Yes." I said as simply as seriously. I was, so what?
Caleb just shook his head and blinked. “Okay first of all Nina isn’t going to turn back straight. She’s never been straight. When we played barbies she used to make them kiss each other.” He said seriously but I didn't give a flying fuck, he was just defending her.
“Meh.” I muttered, my arms over my chest.
“Secondly? She works here. That’s why she’s staying with us.” He added. “She’s one of my closest friends Tara if you don’t like her….I mean that makes no sense to me but fine, you still have to be nice to her.”
“One of your closest friends?” I blinked. No. No no no and no.
“Yes. You said you wanted to meet my friends.” He pointed out.
“Are they all beautiful women?!?” I asked, sounding exhasperated.
“Some of them!” He combated. “You’re friends with Denis!”
“Denis doesn’t count!” I protested.
“Nina is literally my Denis.” He replied. Literally my ass, she so wasn't. I had never heard of her. “I’ve never been jealous of him even though he’s….good looking.” He trailed off not exactly knowing how to say that.
“And what about the other beautiful women friends? Are they all conveniently gay?” I folded my arms over my chest.
“Do you hear yourself right now? You sound really silly.” He retorted.
“You’re not seeing the way she looks at you. At Travis even!!!” I told him.
“I think you’re seeing too much. If anything she was flirting with Lila. She hasn’t even actually spoken to Travis. Tara I swear Nina is like a sister to me. She thinks of me like a brother and she’s an amazing person if you would give her a chance.”
“Meh.” I looked away because it was no use to talk about it and he tilted my face up to him.
“Let’s play it from your side for a moment, even if it’s ridiculous.” He shook his head and I glared at him. “Let’s say she was straight. Let’s say she was interested in me. Let’s say she stripped naked in front of me. Does that mean she gets me? Does that mean I would want her back?”
“I-“ I started.
“I’ve never dealt with jealousy before at least not when I’m not the jealous one so I don’t really know how to deal with this but Tara I get hit on all the time. And that’s not just me being cocky it’s me being honest.”
“What do you mean all the time?!” I asked. If he was trying to make me feel better, he was failing.
“I mean probably about the same amount that you do. But I trust that what we have is bigger than whatever good looking man tries to get into your panties. I would never. Ever cheat on you.” He swallowed as he looked into my eyes. “I'm struggling because I’m a little turned on by your jealousy but I don’t want to approve of this behavior.” He admitted.
"Not a good time to be turned on." I narrowed my eyes on him, not in the mood. "And there's nothing you can say that will stop me from being jealous."
"But I just told you that I'd never cheat on you! Isn't it enough?!" He replied and reached for my hands, squeezing them.
"I trust you, I do, really. It's the other people that I don't trust and I'm sorry but I can't help how I feel." I explained to him. He had no faults, only he was just too hot for his own good. And for my sanity apparently.
He shook his head, "You have no reason to be jealous." He kept trying convincing me, in vain.
I scoffed. "All you did was defending your friend instead." I argued even if I wasn't sure if I was making sense. I was. Wasn't I?
He groaned this time and dropped my hands to run one of his own through his hair. "Were you like this with John too?" He asked slowly.
I stared at him. "Are you seriously bringing John up right now? Really? Do you think it's a good idea?" I asked back, beyond surprised.
"Yes, I need to know." He answered quietly.
"No." I sighed. It was weird with John, as if I was used to him being surrounded by beautiful women all the time. "I've never been jealous of him. Happy now?"
The smallest smile appeared on his lips. "A little. It makes me feel special."
I burst into a laugh unexpectedly. "Caleb you're super special, to the point I'm being completely crazy because I think a lesbian is hitting on you."
"You're being silly." He pulled me against him and kissed my nose, making me scrunch it. "Will you try to stop?"
"Nope." I shrugged, I knew myself and I couldn't change, not when what I felt came from so deep inside of me. "I'm not going to change my mind."
He sighed as he hugged me, "Are you still mad?"
"Yes I'm mad at myself because I hate being mad and I'm mad at you because you're too sexy." I dead panned and it was his turn to laugh. I hit his chest. "I'm serious."
"You look super serious." He teased me.
I pulled back, "Don't make fun of me. You should be more worried if I wasn't jealous, look at how it turned out with John." I said then basically ran into the bathroom, away from him. I looked at myself in the mirror as I washed my hand. I smiled. At myself. Like a lunatic. Oh yes I was definitely drunk. When I walked out, Caleb was still there, waiting for me. "Seriously?"
"Yeah I was afraid that Denis could sneak in and turn straight for you." He grinned from ear to ear and I was surprised to see this side of him.
I rolled my eyes and walked past him. "Hilarious."
"You know he hits on me all the time. Are you jealous of that?" Caleb tried not to laugh and I glared at him.
"Don't be ridiculous Caleb!" I protested as he sent me a pointed look and I grumbled under my breath. "Shut up! Be less.....you!!"
"Less me? I never knew you were such a feisty drunk." He teased me.
"I wasn't feisty the first time you saw me drunk?" I asked, tilting my head to the side, my hair falling over my left shoulder.
"I thought you didn't want me turned on." He replied, folding his arms over his chest.
I gave him a slow smile that was more naughty than it was nice. "I'm still mad. And jealous."
He nodded. "Can you also be happy too though?" He asked and I shrugged. "Please?"
"I just don't like her." I replied.
"Who? The flirty lesbian?" Lila asked, coming out of nowhere.
"See?!?! Even she thinks so!"
"It's not a big deal, lesbians really like me." Lila shrugged and Caleb started laughing while I glared at her. "Am I missing something?"
"Yes you are." I said flatly and when she gave me a questioning look I went on. "I'm jealous of that lesbian and I don't like her."
"She's a lesbian!" Lila cracked up, not helping my case at all.
"Didn't you see how she looked at Trav?" I asked back, crossing my arms against my chest.
She shrugged. "I have to admit that I'd make an exception for Trav even if I liked girls." She grinned wide. "Or for Caleb."
My man just laughed again. "That's ridiculous and unrealistic."
"God why are you keep talking and laughing." I groaned then walked away, heading back to the rest of the group and hearing them follow me.
Trav raised a brow, "It took you a lot, are you okay?"
I slumped next to him, pouting. "Perfect." I replied flatly.
"Do I have to kick his ass?" He asked skeptically.
I furrowed my brows as I realized that Mark and Nina weren't there anymore. "Where's Mark?" I asked instead.
He shrugged, running his hand through his hair before lighting another cigarette. "He went with Nina to pick a liquor or something."
"Tara is jealous of Nina." Lila announced with a chuckle. Great. But this time Caleb wasn't laughing. And I wasn't either. I didn't know if I was just generally annoyed and stressed for the bad situation we were with John and I was picking on the girl and maybe I was exaggerating a little the jealousy thing.
"Jealousy is a good thing usually." Trav said nonchalantly, his words coming out mixed with smoke. "As long is not too much."
I smiled at my cousin. "Thank you for being the only one on my side." I told him, wanting to ignore Caleb but also wanting to run into his arms.
“You’re never jealous.” Lila stated.
“Because I know I’m the best.” He smirked and Lila shook her head.
“And the most humble.” She replied dryly.
Caleb wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into him as we listened to the lovebirds.
“If it was humility you’re into you never would have glanced my way baby.” Travis winked and she shrugged.
“That’s not true, you’re still hot even if I had no idea you were kind of an ass.” She said, as if she was actually arguing over something legitimate instead of ridiculous.
“But you came after me even after you knew I was an ass.” Travis retorted.
“How did you too meet anyways?” I asked, realizing I didn't know that.
Lila and Trav looked at one another. “He coaches my nephews rugby team.” She started.
“And she used to work at Apple.” Trav finished.
“What did you do for Apple?” Caleb asked, pulling me closer and kissing the top of my head. I relaxed into him and he leaned down to whisper in my neck. “If you want I’ll be all over you so she knows I’m all yours.” He teased.
“Ha ha.” I whispered back in a monotone but didn’t pull away as he chuckled into my neck. He felt too good for me to move.
“I was a graphic designer. I never really thought I could actually make it as an artist.” She shrugged. “I was lucky.”
“You’re not lucky. You’re talented and you work your ass off.” Travis interjected.
Lila beamed at him and I shook my head. “That’s the most nice things I’ve ever heard Travis say in once sentence.” I joked.
“Do you still do graphic design?” Caleb asked. “I need to re-do my website, the guy who did it originally was a hack.”
Lila perked up. “Oh I’d love to help! Physical Therapy is kicking my ass and I don’t want to hole up and paint when I get home but I can build a website from bed!”
“I’d pay you of course….” Caleb trailed off but she shook her head.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I mean if you want to send me some cases of wine I won’t mind…” She smirked.
“Consider it done.” He grinned.
"You weren’t done telling the story!” I said, wanting to hear it..
“I don’t know if there is much of a story….we met, we were into each other." She shrugged.
“No way was it insta-love with you two.” I shook my head. I knew Travis, he wasn't the love at first sight kind of guy.
“More like insta-lust.” Lila smirked at Travis.
“The love came later.” He replied.
"Then what?" I asked, loving to hear about their story. I hadn't known Lila long enough to drill her about her romance with my cousin and Travis wasn't exactly the best story teller.
Mark and Nina chose that moment to appear. "What are you guys talking about?" The nosy lesbian asked and for the fist time she did something useful which was filling our glasses with a brand new wine.
"Lila and Travis love story." I said curtly and drank my wine before sitting on Calebs lap and looking at Travis. "Go on."
"I don't think everyone's interested in hearing that." He grinned wide.
Make just shrugged, and Nina nodded. I talked first. "I am and that's enough." I grumbled.
"Easy tiger." Caleb whispered into my ear as he wrapped his arms around my waist.
Lila laughed. "Okay. Well...there's not much else to tell." She blushed as she glanced at Trav with heart shaped eyes. I swear these two were the most random and sweetest couple at the same time.
"She told me she loved me and I was an ass, leading her on first and then disappearing." Trav went on, making us chuckle for the blunt way he was explaining their past.
I tensed a little, wondering how Caleb would react if I told him I loved him. That was why I wasn't telling him. Not yet. "That's so Travis." I commented nonchalantly, hoping that Caleb wasn't noticing anything weird about me. I was overthinking. Enough! "This wine is good." I added randomly.
“You’re making me sound pathetic.” Lila frowned. “I told you I loved you to explain why we wouldn’t work together. You know because your heart used to be made of stone.” Chuckles around us ensued while Travis smirked at his girl.
“We know you’re not pathetic.”
Lila shrugged and moved closer to Travis. “I was a little without him.” She admitted. “We broke up for a few months when I was worried my feelings would never be matched by his. It was one thing to be fooling around and be more into the guy than he was to you, but I was in way too deep to keep it up."
“So she left me.” Trav replied, his eyes going dark as he retold this part of the story.
“It didn’t stick.” Lila replied. “Though it took you long enough.” She sighed. “I thought I would be sad forever.” She pouted and Travis poked her nose, making her wiggle and laugh.
“I’d never let that happen.” He replied. “Just took losing you to really understand what I’d had.” He shrugged, both of them staring into each others eyes as if they’d forgotten we were here.
I sighed. “That’s so much more romantic than I’d thought it would be.” She said softly.
“I guess every romance is different.” Lila admitted. “My sister and Jax though? They were insta-love.” Travis scoffed.
“Oh tell us about them too! I’ve seen pictures of Ruby, but I’ve never even met Colbie!”
“You’d have to ask them about that one.” Lila said. “All I know is the minute Colbie actually agreed to date Jax was the moment that she turned back into a 14 year old girl."
“It was contagious too. Jax did the same thing.” Travis replied, shaking his head.
"But they’re happy right? They have Ruby and….What’s your nephews name?” I asked.
“Will.” Lila nodded, beaming with pride for her family. “Yes, they’re blissfully happy.”
“Do you think they’ll get married?” I asked.
Lila just blinked and then looked at Trav who shrugged. “I have no idea.” She admitted. “Colbie was married before and it didn’t end so well, I don’t know if her opinion on marriage is the same….”
“I thought I’d never get married again.” Caleb piped in, joining the conversation instead of just pawing at me.
I turned to him. “And now you changed your mind?" I asked, my eyes wide. Please say yes.
He winced, “I mean I never thought I’d have a girlfriend again and I proved that wrong. I wouldn’t be opposed to getting married again, it would just have to be really different…..” He trailed off. “Worth the risk of going through what I went through with Selene.” I stared at him. Wow.
“Makes sense.” Travis replied.
“Let’s not talk about Selene though, this is good wine, I don’t want to waste it.” Nina said, scrunching her face up, ruining the moment.
"Agreed." I conceded to miss lesbian pants while Caleb's words played into my head. I didn't want to start dreaming and fantasizing though, I didn't want to believe one day he'd really be the man that could be my husband, it was a scary thought because I was too afraid it couldn't happen instead. I wanted to talk about it with him, ask him if he was really considering to give himself a second chance with me, but i already knew I wouldn't have the courage to bring up the subject. What if he took what he had said back? As my brain worked hard my eyes landed on Trav and Lila who looked as if they were one person only and not for the physical closeness, more for the aura around them. Enough drinking for me, I couldn't believe I just said aura in my head. "What are you guys doing tonight?" I asked them.
"We're heading back home, we have no plans but Lila needs to rest." Travis explained, wrapping his arm around her.
"I need you to give me a damn break." Lila groaned like a cute little tiger ready to jump at his throat and it was adorable. Travis was completely unfazed and I guessed that was part of their routine too. What was my routine with Caleb? Did we even have one?
Nina chuckled and shook her head. "He's just acting like the caring boyfriend, you can't complain." Doctor Strangelove said. "At least you have the whole day to relax, I'm stuck here working instead."
"You shouldn't complain either." Mark grinned at his sister and I noticed just now how quiet Caleb was being. "You should grab the glasses and start cleaning then." The handsome owner said and we all took that as a cue for us to go. We said goodbye, thanked them, then headed back to our cars.
"I'm so sad that we have to leave already." Lila pouted, launching herself against me to hug me.
An idea popped into my head. "You and Trav should stay." I said with a big grin on my stupid drunk face. "We can go out tonight too for dinner or something. You can go to my place and get some rest, take a shower, pick anything you want from my closet...make yourself at home and we'll see you again in a few hours?"
"I feel like I'm taking advantage of now nice you are but oh my god I'd love that." Lila said back, trying to hide her enthusiasm and failing.
Trav looked at me. "You don't have to do that Tara."
"Oh shut up just take the keys." I fished them out of my bag and threw them at him, giggling. "I'll stay with Caleb, I'm sure he doesn't mind."
"Damn right." He smirked at him even though it didn't reach his eyes. Or maybe I was overthinking and seeing things that didn't exist. "I'll text you the name of the restaurant as soon as I'll make a reservation." Caleb told them then we parted ways.
I stopped him before he could get into the car, pushing him against it by gluing my body against him. I love you, I said in my head. "Thank you for calling them." I said out loud instead. "I know I'm a little crazy today so thank you for still being amazing with me too." I love you Caleb and I hope one day I'll be the woman you'll let be yours again, I added in my alcohol fogged brain even though I definitely thought that. The only difference was that I didn't usually talk to myself in my head when I was sober, the content? Was the same. I really hoped I'd be the right girl for Caleb.
Caleb cupped my face, sliding his hand against my cheek and showing me emotion in his eyes that I was sure was reflecting in my own. “I can handle a little crazy.” He smirked.
I smacked against his chest playfully. “You’re supposed to tell me I’m not really crazy!!!” I laughed.
“What do you want to do before dinner?” He asked, his fingers idly playing with my hair.
“I’m kind of sleepy, but if I nap I’ll never wake up so lets stop at the bakery and-“
He stopped me. “No. You’re not going to work.”
“But I was just going to make some coffee!” I protested.
“There are plenty of coffee shops where you don’t have to do all the work.” He teased.
I made a face. “Are they good though?”
He shook his head. “They’re good enough. When you’re behind the counter you know you’ll think about work and probably do some and I want to talk to you and touch you and have all of your attention.” He grinned, my face broke into a smile. “Plus you’re too tipsy to work around hot fluids right now.” He added. God I loved him.
"Are you okay to drive?” I asked.
“I had only a sip of each wine and haven’t drank in over an hour.” He laughed.
“Okay. We should go to Celedon for dinner.” I said as he opened the car door for me like the gentleman he always was.
“Good idea.” He texted his assistant to make reservations while he drove us to TNT coffee, a little shop only a few minutes away.
I barely noticed how we got there. “Caleb.” I said after he’d grabbed two espressos and sat us down on one of the oversized couches in the back.
“Mmm?” He asked, sipping the strong liquid and savoring it.
“I-“ I sighed and felt like I was lost for words. I had drank too much for words.
“What’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. I’m worried.”
He reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear before tilting my chin up to look at me. "If you’re worried than it’s not nothing.” He replied.
I got lost into his gorgeous eyes and I scooted closer to him until I was cuddled against his side, his body so warm and soft yet so hard. "I don't remember." I blinked at him, realizing I was too focused on him to actually think. Oh well maybe that was for the best.
He poked my side, making me jump, "Don't be silly." He grinned.
"No, I promise. I genuinely don't remember. My mind is blank." I told him and frowned then shrugged, resting my head against his chest and not caring if it was unappropriate because we weren't teens anymore and we were supposed to act like adults and also not caring in general because this felt just so good, he felt so good.
He sighed, kissing the top of my head as he played with my hair. "Okay, but it's weird that you suddently forgot what you were worried about." He said softly.
"It's not weird because I still feel a little drunk and you're so amazing you distract me." I pointed out matter of factly, reaching for his free hand and playing with his fingers. His chest vibrated against my back as he laughed softly. "I'm worried about us." I said eventually, quietly, not even looking at him and not remembering exactly what I had thought before but I knew how to get back there.
"What about us?" He asked and I could tell he was having a hard time sounding so controlled.
"I don't know, sometimes it's irrational, like when I'm worried that a lesbian could want you and other times it makes more sense, like when I think about John or Selene or all the odds against us...or the future." I talked quietly and closed my eyes, relaxing against him. I was too exhausted to fight against....anything. I needed a break and I needed Caleb.
He tensed from behind me, "Don't you think we're going to last?" He asked and from the sound of his voice it sounded like he was the one who thought that.
I let out a sigh, tangling my fingers with his as I brought our hands to my chest, where my heart was. He was the one, drunk or not drunk I knew it. "If it was up to me I'd marry you even right now." I made it sound like a joke, even chuckling, then added, "Let's say I'm generally worried of how we're going to get to the future part since we have to go through family drama. I don't know. Maybe I drank too much to have this kind of conversation right now."
“Maybe we should come back to this conversation when you’re sober before we run off to Vegas.” Caleb smirked, surprising me with his reaction.
I widened my eyes and then laughed. “I’ve never been to Vegas.” I replied. "It could be fun.”
“You’ve never been to Vegas?” He questioned, surprised.
I shook my head. “No. I haven’t been many places honestly.” The thought of discovering the whole world with Caleb though? I loved it and it thrilled me.
“Because you’re too busy working?”
I shrugged. “I guess so. But I love it here. It’s home.”
“You’re cute you know.” He said softly.
I nodded. "And pretty.” I added. “Also talented.”
“Yes and yes.” He grinned.
“That’s how I landed a super sexy man.” I shrugged, bragging, which was something I never did, not when I was sober anyway.
“And silly.” He laughed, sipping his drink again and then licking his lips. “Why do you think Selene is an obstacle?” He asked.
“Because she’s still in your life.” Because she's a bitch.
“Yes, but that has nothing to do with us.” He reasoned. “We’re divorced, there are no left over feelings or anything.”
“Except for the ones that ended with her in your bed even after you got divorced.” I pointed out, knowing I was right.
“That was more than a year ago. And it wasn’t love….it was more loneliness and familiarity.” He replied.
“Who’s to say she doesn’t get lonely again?” I asked.
“No one I guess, but when she finds out I have a girlfriend now she won’t try anything.”
I snapped my head towards him. “WHEN she finds out? Why wouldn’t she already know?!”
“Because I haven’t spoken to her!” He pulled me back into him. “I mean she knows as much as she figured out from the last time you saw her, that was ages ago.”
"Can we stop talking about her? It's giving me a massive headache and I don't need that." I groaned, massaging my temples already.
He raised one eyebrow slowly, and for once I couldn't read his face. At all. I hated that. "Would you rather talk about John?" He fired back.
I shrugged nonchalantly. "If you want. At least I didn't marry him." I said with a chuckle.
It was his turn to groan, "Not funny, at all." He said against my shoulder.
"You're right. Can you imagine divorcing a lawyer? Damn, that wouldn't go well for my finances at all." I shook my head, finding that oddly amusing. John hadn't been right for me, at all, and not just because of money, I knew that now that I had found Caleb. This was how love was supposed to feel.
"Can you stop talking about him?" My man narrowed his eyes on me and I didn't know if he was jealous or generally annoyed about the subject at hand. But it was his cousin we were talking about so it wasn't like he was going to disappear, he'd always be in our lives. Actually, I hoped he would, I didn't want Caleb to lose a friend.
I shot him an innocent look. "What do you want to talk about instead?"
"Anything." He sighed then buried his face in the crook of my neck, making me shiver.
I got lost into my thoughts a moment, rewinding this day in my head. "I'm happy that we're going to a double date tonight." I said eventually.
He chuckled against me before pulling back. "What?! I think Travis and Lila are beyond the dating point."
I smiled at him sweetly, my heart full of all the feels. "I hope one day we will too."
"Yeah he probably is." I admitted and sat on the stool next to his, deflating a little because it was obvious that he wasn't here just because of my coffee.
He nodded slowly and his face got suddenly more serious. "He seems...really into you." He said, making it obvious he was picking his words carefully.
I appreciated his tact if you could call it that, but I hated tiptoeing around things so I decided to go straight to the point. "We're really into each other. I care deeply about Caleb and honestly even if it was bad timing and there's a lot of drama going on I think he's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm serious about him or I wouldn't let him risk his family for us." I told him simply.
He blinked at me then broke into a chuckle. "Damn girl. I wasn't expecting that." He shook his head.
I felt myself blush. "I was just trying to make things clear." I said almost apologetically.
"I like that. And I like that you have no doubts about him...the situation is what it was and I wanted to make sure it was worth it." He said back with a shrug, no judgment in his tone.
"I-" I cut myself off when I was about to say that I loved Caleb who, as if on cue, walked into my bakery in that exact moment.
"Speak of the devil" Jaden grinned at his brother.
Caleb rose a brow at him. "Kind of far to drive for a cup of coffee." He pointed out.
Jaden shrugged. "You said it was the best." He grinned.
"And you wanted to interrogate my girlfriend." Caleb added, doing the math pretty easily.
"Guilty." He winked at me but I wasn't upset or anything. Considering the circumstances, it hadn't been bad. Jaden's eyes moved away from me and he blinked. "Hey I know you." He added. "Are you single yet?"
I lit up as Lila and Trav walked into the cafe, Lila looking a little less than her chirpy self. "Maybe." She grumbled.
"Never actually." Travis added.
Jaden whistled. "All the good ones are taken." He shook his head.
"What's wrong?" I asked, assessing the tension between my cousin and his girl.
"I made her drive here." Travis shrugged nonchalantly, of course not affected by his girlfriend's mood or anything really.
"So?" Jaden blinked.
"Are you okay?" I asked, knowing that the last time Lila had driven she had gotten in an accident with her pregnant sister. That had to fuck you up a little.
"I dunno." She admitted.
"You did great." Travis replied.
"Better to drive on a long trip and get it over with." Caleb told her softly.
"Exactly!" Travis kissed the top of her head and she nodded.
"I know...it's just different."
"I'm definitely missing something." Jaden said, looking around the room.
"I got hit by a drunk driver a few months ago." Lila explained.
Jaden looked angry suddenly, "Damn, I'm sorry. Tell me that guy is in jail or you're at least suing him for everything he has."
"Yes." Travis replied. "To both."
"Not that I'm not thrilled but what are you doing here?" I asked, running to finally hug Travis tight.
He hugged me back, squeezing me as he looked down at me. "Didn't Caleb tell you?" He asked with a brow raised and I shook my head.
"He didn't because it was a surprise! God, do you ever hear me when I talk to you?!" Lila said, showing an annoyance that was so out of character.
Travis shot her a blank stare that was worth more than one million words. "Touchy aren't we today?"
"She just had a long drive!" I cut into the conversation, pulling away from my cousin to busy myself behind the counter while I wondered why my boyfriend had invited them. I was happy about that, but why? Was I missing something? "A coffee will fix everything."
Lila sighed and gave me a wide smile. "Thank you, finally someone who understands me." She hit Travis playfully before sitting across from the counter.
"So what are you guys going to do exactly?" Jaden asked, looking amused.
"Wine tasting." Caleb answered with a shrug, "Want to come too?"
He shook his head, "No thanks. I'll leave you lovebirds to your double date."
Trav groaned as he gravitated closer to Lila, standing next to her and setting his large hand on the small of her back. "You're making it sound lame." He muttered.
"Nah I'm just jealous that I don't have your girlfriend." Jaden smirked then handed me a bill that I refused with a shake of my head. "Thanks Tara. I'll see you soon hopefully." He dismissed us with a small wave of his hand before heading out of my bakery.
"So Caleb, are we going to be drunk by the end of the tasting?" Lila asked, a mischievous grin on her lips as she sipped her coffee.
"I hope not because you-" Trav started but Lila cut him off.
"Stop it. I'm okay." She spat. What was going on there?
Caleb finally got closer to me, his chest resting against my back and making me relax. "I doubt it. Maybe a little tipsy." He said with a wink. I was barely paying attention though, I was still thinking about his brother. And John. And all the things we were avoiding.
"That's fine by me." Lila grinned wide while Trav rolled his eyes. "Where is the winery? Or wait, is it your own?"
"Nope, one that just opened." My man explained quietly as he glanced at his watch. "We should go now. You can follow my car, it's not far."
"I'm not driving." Lila announced as she hopped down the stool, Travis just sighed while I was grateful I'd have a little time alone to speak with Caleb.
“What’s going on?” I asked once we were in his car, looking back at him with a confused look on my face.
“You said you would take a half day with me.” He reminded me.
“Yeah but you didn’t say anything about Trav and Lila coming.” I pointed out. Not that I minded that but I was just curious of why.
“I thought it might be good to hang out with family.” He replied, shrugging.
I opened my mouth to say that with family he meant my family, the one that didn't mind if we were dating, and then sighed before reaching up to kiss him. “Thanks.” I whispered against his mouth.
“If I’d have known Jaden was in town I would have invited him too….plus one of his many girlfriends since he doesn’t like being a third wheel.” Caleb grinned.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “He’d probably flirt with Lila the whole time and piss off his date.”
“And seeing as how his dates are barely legal I’m guessing their maturity level isn’t super high.” He laughed.
“Oh god Caleb we have to do something about him.” I shook my head.
“I’m just saying….” He shrugged. "My family can’t really judge.”
The words hit heavy between us and I sighed. “I guess not.”
“What did he say to you?” He asked as he looked behind us to make sure Trav and Lil were following then turned back to side glance at me.
“Nothing really.” I said simply. “I did most of the talking.”
He blinked, looking surprised, “Really?”
I nodded and tucked my hair behind my ear and looked out the window.
“What did you say then?” He went on when I didn't add anything.
I turned to smile at him. “I told him I liked you.” I replied, smirking and biting down on my lip.
“I think he knew that already.” He laughed, turning up the air conditioning as he noticed me fan myself with my hand. “Are you hot?”
“A little.” I nodded, setting the vent towards my face and sighing. That had to be my hormones since I was pmsing.
“Are you okay? He didn’t make you feel worse did he? I’ll kick his ass.” He said seriously.
I shook my head. “No…if anything I think I made him understand that we’re not just rebounding or having a fling….but I still feel like we’re always running away from our problems.”
“Tara, you and I don’t have problems. At least not yet….I mean I’m sure we will. But our problems are about us and other people. I don’t want to let them mess this up.”
"Okay it might not be between us but it's still a problem Caleb." I said seriously, partially agreeing with him but also having the feeling that was a convenient way to put things.
"And I don't want it to mess up our relationship, did you hear that?" He repeated slowly and I didn't know if he was in denial or something.
I shook my head. "It still affects us." I pointed out stubbornly, holding my ground as usual.
He glanced at me briefly as he drove, his hand running through his hair nervously. "What, are you having second thoughts or something?"
"No god, no." I answered hurriedly, placing my hand on his. "If anything I'm afraid you could." I confessed.
"No Tara. You should already know that I'm not changing my mind about you, about us." He said back firmly.
"And I believe you." I tried to reassure him, meaning it. "But I also believe that we should do something, anything, to get out of this mess or sooner or later it WILL ruin us."
"Okay but what could we do right now?" He asked as he let out a breath, parking and sounding defeated.
I didn't like that tone. Truth was I had no idea of what I could do, I'd do anything but I felt so powerless. "Nothing. You're right." I said quietly and opened the door of his car, ready to get out.
He grabbed my wrist before I could instead, giving me a look that broke me. "I don't want to fight with you." He said softly.
I loved him. That was why I was so upset about this whole situation. Only I couldn't tell him, not yet. "I know baby. I don't want to fight either...let's just have a good time today." I suggested even if I was forcing myself. We were with Trav and Lila, I didn't have any other option anyway and I was genuinely happy to see them.
“I hate this look.” Caleb admitted, running his thumb against my jaw.
"What?” She blinked back at him, confused.
“You’re forcing yourself to have fun. To be happy. You shouldn’t have to.” He swallowed and I felt guilty even if I didn't really have to. Not because of John, but because of him.
“What we did affected other people Caleb.” I pointed out, sounding like a broken record.
“What we did wasn’t wrong.” He retorted. “And John will get over it. If he had really loved you he would never of made you feel second to him.”
“I don’t feel guilty about being with you.” I shook my head. "Never think that. I feel guilty for turning someone you thought of as a friend, someone who shares your genes even, and made him hate you.”
“John has a tendency to react without thinking and then forget what he was even mad about. Do you know how many girls that I dated in college that he hooked up with after? He has no right to be angry for more than a little while.”
“You dating a girl in college is a little different than dating the girl he lived with.” I pointed out once again.
“I’ll talk to him. Tonight. I’ll call him. I don’t want you to have to force happiness when I know how much you love Lila and Trav and being outside in this weather.” He commented.
“It is nice out today.” I gave him a smile that I hoped was more convicning.
“And also a little breezy so I’m hoping that your skirt flies up a little.” He smirked.
I widened my eyes before laughing. “Oh god Caleb.” I shook my head. “Like you’ve never seen my thighs before?” I laughed harder.
“Still.” He grinned. “I’ll never get sick of looking at you.” He winked and kissed me. “I’ll make your fun real even if it’s the last thing I do.” He whispered.
“Bring on the wine!” Lila said, smiling as we both got out of the car. “Your car is hot as fuck.” She said seriously, eyeing his Corvette.
“You just got a new car.” Trav chuckled.
“You want to drive it later?" Caleb asked, watching her eyes go wide.
“Are you kidding?” She asked back. I wasn't a big fan of cars, but Lila was apparently.
“No, nothing like a smooth drive in that car to get over a fear.” Caleb winked at her and she beamed at him. In that moment I loved him a little more.
“Maybe…”
“You should.” Trav said, grinning and looking like a totally different person than his usual surly self.
“I don’t get it. It’s just a car.” I shook my head. “I mean Caleb is sexy driving it and all but I’d think he was sexy driving a mini-van.”
“That will never happen.” Caleb said while Travis and Lila cracked up.
“Look how horrified he looks.” Lila commented before moving her eyes our surroundings. “Oh this is so beautiful!” She looked over the winery, which was indeed quite a sight. Not as beautiful as Caleb's though. “I’d love to paint this.”
“You should" Trav said, setting his hand on her lower back as she took a few pictures on her phone.
“It’s not as lovely as Mara.” Ia said. “But god it’s pretty everywhere in Napa, just wait until the sunset.”
Caleb beamed at me and reached out to push my hair out of my face. My heart skipped a beat.
"You guys are so cute." Lila pointed out as Caleb kissed me and I was pretty sure I was blushing.
I pulled back but still leant against my man's side, needing him more than usual. "So are you two."
"Travis hates being called cute so I guess we're not." She grinned at me then glanced at my cousin.
"Any guy hates that." Caleb added, of course on the boys team.
"Amen." Travis grinned as he looked around. "So how is this wine tasting going to be exactly?"
"You've never been to one?" Caleb asked, looking surprised.
He shook his head. "Nope. I'm always locked in my office, I have no time to appreciate good wine and a beautiful landscape."
"Also he's obsessed with beer." Lila added, looking somehow amused.
"Must be a family thing." Caleb commented nonchalantly as he squeezed me against his side. "But to answer your question we're going to take a small tour and drink. That's all."
Travis grinned while I just enjoyed the mood, being with two people that supported us with no judgement. "I think I can do that."
"I'm ready to start drinking too." I added, looking up at Caleb with a smile on my face.
His gorgeous eyes met mine and for a moment I saw a doubt into them, a silent question which I answered to by nodding slightly. I was fine. We were fine. "Okay I'm going to find Mark and tell him we're here." He said back before walking away.
As soon as he disappeared, Lila was on me. "How are things going?" She asked, sounding impatient.
"Eh." I made a face.
"What happened?" Travis blinked and looked absolutely clueless. Guys.
I shook my head, dismissing the question because I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I didn't want to ruin this day. "Long story. Let's just say that nothing changed from the last time we spoke." I told Lila, referring to the two hours long phone call we had a week before. I was super happy that we got along, that I had found a friend in my cousin's girlfriend.
"Meh. It will get better though, I promise!" She told me encouragingly. I wished she was right.
Trav groaned. "I'm lost, can someone tell me what's going on?" He protested, already on the grumpy side.
"I'll fill you in later." I said even though I wasn't sure if I wanted to. Not today maybe? I was too afraid that if I talked to him I'd break down and cry like I had done in the past whenever there had been something or someone upsetting me. Trav was really like a big brother to me.
Caleb saved me from my cousin's questioning stare as he reappeared with a ridiculously good looking man. He was tall, with dark hair and even darker eyes, definitely different from my man but still handsome. Were all Caleb's friends gorgeous? Was he part of a secret hot men's club and I didn't know? As long as they were men only that was fine by me.
“Welcome to Athena Winery.” Mark grinned and reached out to shake everyone’s hand. “I’m glad you all could make it.”
“It’s lovely.” I said sweetly.
“Mark this is my girlfriend Tara.” Caleb winked at me and I blushed a little. “Her cousin Travis and his girlfriend Lila.”
“Thrilled to have you. Would you like a tour first or should we get straight to the tasting.” The Mark man wasked, being both nice and professional.
“Tasting.” I said firmly, making Mark laugh.
“Such a good answer. I inherited this winery when my great uncle passed away, I’m trying to bring it back to its glory days. Luckily I have a pro to go to for advice.” Mark smiled at my man and he nodded.
“Happy to help.” Caleb replied honestly while I found myself proud of how much of a good man he was. Athena was technically a competitor and he'd still help, no matter what. I also had to say that Mara won anyway, it was the best hands down.
“How do you know Caleb?” Lila asked as we walked upto an outdoor bar set up on a small hill next to the winery.
“Because of me.” A girl popped her head out from under the bar and smiled at Caleb before running to give him a hug. Who was she now? “Caleb and I go way back.” She replied. “Mark is my step-brother. Isn’t it beautiful what he’s done with the place?”
“Definitley.” Lila agreed.
“Way back?” I asked, looking pointedly at the girl.
“For years! I went to preschool with Hailey.” She said back with a little too much excitement.
“My sister.” Caleb explained. “Though you could be a sister too for how much you were at our place.” He added, but I didn't buy that. No girl on earth would want to be like a sister to Caleb.
“We used to make Caleb play barbies with us.” She giggled. Ugh.
“Fuck let’s keep some things secret.” Caleb shook his head while Travis chuckled.
“You’re laughing at that? You know how to braid little girls hair.” Lila pointed out.
Travis shrugged, way too confident to be affected. “True. Through that’s not the same.” He smirked and Caleb rose a brow at him.
“Trav has a niece who has him wrapped around her tiny fingers. Actually she has us all wrapped around her fingers.” Lila explained.
“Poppy?” I asked knowingly, wondering how she was now. “I bet she’s so big now! I haven’t seen her since she was 2.”
The girl interrupted, because of course. “Alright. Do you guys like reds? Whites? Dry? Sweet?”
“Yes.” Lila said seriously. Trav’s low chuckle was thrwarted by the girl’s laughter. What was her name?
“My kind of girl.” Mark grinned.
“Less flirting more wine pouring!” His sister or whatever said, slapping her brother playfully on the arm.
Mark laughed but I was still busy studying his sister, deciding if I liked her or not. Probably not by the way she kept glancing at Caleb. Like a sister he had said...like a sister my ass. "Let's start with a dry white, slightly sparkling." The black haired hottie said and filled our glasses, explaining what kind of wine it was but I was barely paying attention. "Do you know how to study a wine?" He asked and when the holy sister tried to speak, I was faster.
"Roll the glass, look at the way the wine runs against the glass, sniff it, focus on the color then take a sip." I answered simply.
Mark blinked, then laughed again. I liked him. "Wow I'm impressed." He teased.
Caleb wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pressing me slightly against his side, "That's my girl." He grinned, pride in his voice. Good.
Lila frowned, "That's not fair, she's Caleb's girlfriend of course she knows everything about wine tasting!" She pouted like the silly girl she was then sipped the wine, "It's so good."
Travis nodded in approval even if he looked a little out of his element. It was almost funny to watch. "Not as good as Caleb's." He added jokingly.
"No comparisons please." Mark grinned along with the guys, not taking that seriously. Yes I definitely liked him.
"I agree." That brunette girl felt the need to add and I fought the urge to roll my eyes while she winked at Caleb. Ugh.
I downed the rest of my glass, ready to move on, then noticed there was a name written on her work shirt. Nina.
"Woah, easy darling." Mark chuckled, his lips baring his white perfect teeth. If only his sister was half as nice as he was.
"Sorry, I'm thirsty." I shrugged and blushed for sure, biting down on my lip.
He gave me an amused look and went on with the explanation of this wine I couldn't care less about, so I zoned out maybe a few seconds, thinking about that time I had gone wine tasting with John. We had gone to Caleb's winery. "I don't know if any of you loves cooking, but this wine is actually great with starters and fish." He said.
"Take notes Lila." Travis grinned at her, getting nothing but a roll of her eyes back.
I, on the other hand, already knew that. Because when you cooked and owned a place that served food you also had to know what kind of drink went with different food, or at least the basics.
"Don't you like cooking Lila?" The Nina girl asked, apparently not big on minding her damn business.
"It depends." She shrugged nonchalantly.
Nina's eyes moved to me as I idly played with the rim of my empty glass. "What about you?" She asked me, as if the wanted to be my friend now. No.
"I own and run Archer's bakery so yeah I love cooking." I answered in a completely neutral voice because I was so not going to be friendly with a girl who kept looking at my man as if she wanted to eat him. And he was completely oblivious to that, of course.
She widened her eyes, "Really?!" She said back, looking surprised.
"Yes. The name is Archer, as Tara Archer." I added with a smile that only showed how proud I was of what I did for a living.
"That place is amazing!" Mark nodded, grabbing our empty glasses, "I had no idea it was yours, I never saw you there."
"She was probably hiding in the back, baking like crazy." Caleb said and reached for my hand, smiling as his thumb traced circles on my palm. Good boy.
"Next time you stop by you should call me." I told him and made sure it was clear that the invitation was for him only, not for Miss holy sister too.
"I definitely will." He grinned at me and I was happy about that because he ran a winery so that meant we could do business together too.
"Perfect." I reached for the clean glass and smirked back at him, "Next?"
“You look so familiar.” Nina told Lila as we made our way through the red wines and switched to whites.
“You do too a little actually.” Lila smiled sweetly and leaned into Travis.
“What do you do for work?” She asked with curiosity. She was supposed to work, not be part of our group damn it.
“I’m an artist.” She replied, “Mostly painting. I’m thinking about painting the scenery here, it’s so lovely.”
“Oh my god you’re Lila Trenton.” Nina clapped. “I saw your show in New York!”
I suppressed a groan but I couldn't help rolling my eyes.
“That makes sense!” Lila smiled. “Are you on the art scene there?”
Nina shook her head. “No not really, I kind of stumbled upon it, but god your work is beautiful. If she does paint Athena you have to buy it from her Mark.”
“I believe you. So we have two beautiful successful women…how exactly did you two end up with them?” He smirked at Caleb. “I mean this one is good looking enough.” He thumbed over to Travis. “But what does she see in you?”
“Careful or I’ll stop giving you any advice.” Caleb teased.
“You know I kid.” He winked at me and I smiled at him after downing another sample of the Rose.
“Why can’t you get a girl like these ones though?” Mark asked Nina which made both me and Lila widen their eyes.
“I’m trying but they’re all straight! What’s your excuse?” Nina asked her brother.
“They’re all taken.” He laughed.
“My excuse was better.” Nina replied, sipping her wine glass and then turning to Caleb. “I swear I can’t stop staring at you. You seem so damn happy it’s like you’re glowing.” Worst excuse of the world.
“Careful, everyone will think he’s pregnant.” Lila teased, making Travis chuckle with Mark and Nina but I was still glancing at Nina instead.
“Seriously though! I don’t think you looked this taken with Selena even on your wedding day.” She admitted and I muttered a curse under my breath.
“You were married?” Lila asked Caleb, even having Travis look up with mild interest. Perfect, talking about that bitch was exactly what I needed to have this day completely ruined.
“I was.”
“She was the worst. I mean she was hot but not even in a good way.” Nina added. “What the fuck kind of a name is Selena?”
“A stripper’s name.” I said automatically.
“Oh my god it so is a strippers name.” Nina laughed. Hilarious.
“My taste in women has grown exponentially.” Caleb said, shaking my head at the girls.
I didn't even blink, taking in his words that were precious to me but I was still set on not jump at that girl's throat. I didn't believe to a single word she was saying and I was under the impression she was just trying to fit our small group. Why was she even there? I didn't want her with us.
"I had no idea you were married." Travis said slowly as he looked at me, I just shrugged and poured myself another glass.
Caleb made a face. "Not something I like to talk about." He said awkwardly while my mood just got worse because, well. Still Selene.
My cousin moved his gaze to my man, "The past is the past." He pointed out and I scoffed. Was it? I drank another long sip even though I was barely tasting it. Ops. "I need a break." He announced as he got up.
Lila rolled her eyes. "He means he needs a smoke."
My cousin didn't even pay attention to her words and I got up instead, happy to be wearing flats because I felt a little unsteady. "I'm coming with you." I said before someone like Nina the fake lesbian could say it. "Travis needs company and I'm the best." I told Caleb who was giving me a questioning look.
We took a few steps away from the small group and I finally rolled my eyes.
"Want one?" Travis offered me a cigarette and I accepted.
"God. I needed this." I breathed out, letting out the smoke.
Trav chuckled. "What's up Tara?" He asked me, seeing through me as usual.
I shrugged as I looked up at him. "I don't like that girl." I pointed out kind of obviously.
"Uh yeah I noticed by the way you kept glaring." He chuckled, "But why?"
"I don't like the way she looks at you and Caleb." I answered in a growl, inhaling deeply. "And why is she even here?!"
This time Travis laughed. "Tara, she said she likes girls."
I dismissed his words. "Everyone's lesbian these days just because they think it's cool." I replied with a shake of my head.
He wrapped his arm around me and squeezed me against his side like he always did. "You're talking nonsense, maybe you should stop drinking." He told me, amusement in his voice.
"I'm telling you Trav, she's full of shit." I said seriously and finished the cigarette.
"God you're stubborn." He commented but was still grinning as we headed back to the wonderful people expecting us.
I glanced at him, "So are you." I grinned. Then went back to my blank face as I sat next to Caleb again. "What did we miss? What are we drinking now?"
"Dessert wines." Lila replied. "Baby I'm a little tipsy."
"Excellent." Trav shook his head then cupped her neck and tilted her head up possesively. "You're a lightweight." He grinned and she beamed up at him. They were such an odd couple, the eternal optimist and tiny Lila with gruff Travis, but they were so obviously in love.
"You're a sexy weight." Lila replied.
"Eew." I laughed at Lila who shrugged. "That's not even a thing."
"If it was Trav would be it." Lila retorted.
"Who wants the harvest peach wine?" Mark asked, pouring it in all the glasses without waiting for an answer. Yay.
"Peach?" I asked.
"It's actually a honey Meade." Nina replied. "It's a little too sweet for my liking but it is a porch pounder."
"Porch pounder?" Lila asked. We were so obviously lost.
"It's a winery term for a drink so smooth you could drink a bottle on your porch and not notice until you were wasted." Caleb explained with a smile.
"Perfect!" I replied a little too happily.
"It's 13% residual sugar and you can definitely taste the honey under he peach."
"Wow." Trav said and made a face. "It tastes like candy."
Caleb laughed and downed his sample, while I condered grabbing the whole bottle.
"I like it." Lila said seriously. "I love peaches!"
"You just love wine." Trav smirked.
"Yes." Lila grinned. "How are you not tipsy? You probably weigh less than me!" She asked me.
"I am a little." I confessed, lying because I was more than a little.
"She just gets bitchy when she drinks while you get silly." Trav grinned wide at me. He was right. He always was.
Lila gave Trav a horrified look. "Tara's never bitchy!" She replied. Oh I was instead.
"Do you have a bathroom?" I asked Mark, feeling the urge to get up out of nowhere. Also to pee.
"In the building and to your left." Nina replied sweetly. I shot her a glare and walked towards the house.
Caleb followed me. "I fucked today up didn't I?" He asked once we were alone. "I just wanted you to have some fun....what did I do wrong Tara? I'm new to this."
I stopped in my tracks and blinked at him as I focused on his face. He looked...guilty? I shook my head hurriedly and everything moved a little faster as if my eyes couldn't follow my head. I didn't even know if that made sense. "No baby, you didn't do anything wrong." I told him and cupped his cheek, my voice coming out soft. A little slow too maybe?
"Why are you mad at me?" He asked, his brows furrowing.
I blinked again. I wasn't sure if I was getting things right. "But I'm not mad at you..." I trailed off quietly.
He set his hands on my hips, his eyes boring into mine and making me want to climb him like a tree and take a nap on his shoulder. "You're being so weird. I've never seen you like this before." He commented in a low voice.
I cracked a grin. "You mean drunk?" I attempted to joke because I wasn't drunk. Not yet. Close to that though.
He shook his head, "I've seen you drunk before and you're nothing like this."
I let out a deep breath as I leaned against him, nuzzling his chest and closing my eyes. Woah everything spun. "I'm really happy you decided to call Lila and Travis, it was an amazing surprise." I said honestly, his arms wrapping around me and making me feel so safe and warm.
"Are you sure?" He asked, kissing the top of my head as I nodded. "Why are you so upset? I feel like I'm failing you and you're not that happy instead. I want to understand....and fix whatever I did wrong."
This time I pulled my head back and stared at him. I didn't want him to think he failed me, ever. "Caleb, you're doing everything right. Perfect even. I can't even start explaining how much it means to me that you surprised me like this, I mean it."
"What is it then?" He asked, sounding frustrated.
"I don't like that girl." I replied seriously, flatly.
He raised one eyebrow. "Who, Nina?!"
"Yes Nina the fake lesbian who can't take her eyes off of you and would turn back straight in a second if only she could get a piece of you." I spat, crossing my arms against my chest.
"Tara did you hear her? She said she like girls! Girls! I'm not a girl." He said back with his eyes wide. God he was so naive.
"That's bullshit." I muttered under my breath. "I don't like her and I don't see why she has to stay with us."
He gave me a long stare. Very long. Either that or I was losing track of time. "You're jealous?"
I didn't know if it was really a question but I knew how to answer anyway. "Yes." I said as simply as seriously. I was, so what?
Caleb just shook his head and blinked. “Okay first of all Nina isn’t going to turn back straight. She’s never been straight. When we played barbies she used to make them kiss each other.” He said seriously but I didn't give a flying fuck, he was just defending her.
“Meh.” I muttered, my arms over my chest.
“Secondly? She works here. That’s why she’s staying with us.” He added. “She’s one of my closest friends Tara if you don’t like her….I mean that makes no sense to me but fine, you still have to be nice to her.”
“One of your closest friends?” I blinked. No. No no no and no.
“Yes. You said you wanted to meet my friends.” He pointed out.
“Are they all beautiful women?!?” I asked, sounding exhasperated.
“Some of them!” He combated. “You’re friends with Denis!”
“Denis doesn’t count!” I protested.
“Nina is literally my Denis.” He replied. Literally my ass, she so wasn't. I had never heard of her. “I’ve never been jealous of him even though he’s….good looking.” He trailed off not exactly knowing how to say that.
“And what about the other beautiful women friends? Are they all conveniently gay?” I folded my arms over my chest.
“Do you hear yourself right now? You sound really silly.” He retorted.
“You’re not seeing the way she looks at you. At Travis even!!!” I told him.
“I think you’re seeing too much. If anything she was flirting with Lila. She hasn’t even actually spoken to Travis. Tara I swear Nina is like a sister to me. She thinks of me like a brother and she’s an amazing person if you would give her a chance.”
“Meh.” I looked away because it was no use to talk about it and he tilted my face up to him.
“Let’s play it from your side for a moment, even if it’s ridiculous.” He shook his head and I glared at him. “Let’s say she was straight. Let’s say she was interested in me. Let’s say she stripped naked in front of me. Does that mean she gets me? Does that mean I would want her back?”
“I-“ I started.
“I’ve never dealt with jealousy before at least not when I’m not the jealous one so I don’t really know how to deal with this but Tara I get hit on all the time. And that’s not just me being cocky it’s me being honest.”
“What do you mean all the time?!” I asked. If he was trying to make me feel better, he was failing.
“I mean probably about the same amount that you do. But I trust that what we have is bigger than whatever good looking man tries to get into your panties. I would never. Ever cheat on you.” He swallowed as he looked into my eyes. “I'm struggling because I’m a little turned on by your jealousy but I don’t want to approve of this behavior.” He admitted.
"Not a good time to be turned on." I narrowed my eyes on him, not in the mood. "And there's nothing you can say that will stop me from being jealous."
"But I just told you that I'd never cheat on you! Isn't it enough?!" He replied and reached for my hands, squeezing them.
"I trust you, I do, really. It's the other people that I don't trust and I'm sorry but I can't help how I feel." I explained to him. He had no faults, only he was just too hot for his own good. And for my sanity apparently.
He shook his head, "You have no reason to be jealous." He kept trying convincing me, in vain.
I scoffed. "All you did was defending your friend instead." I argued even if I wasn't sure if I was making sense. I was. Wasn't I?
He groaned this time and dropped my hands to run one of his own through his hair. "Were you like this with John too?" He asked slowly.
I stared at him. "Are you seriously bringing John up right now? Really? Do you think it's a good idea?" I asked back, beyond surprised.
"Yes, I need to know." He answered quietly.
"No." I sighed. It was weird with John, as if I was used to him being surrounded by beautiful women all the time. "I've never been jealous of him. Happy now?"
The smallest smile appeared on his lips. "A little. It makes me feel special."
I burst into a laugh unexpectedly. "Caleb you're super special, to the point I'm being completely crazy because I think a lesbian is hitting on you."
"You're being silly." He pulled me against him and kissed my nose, making me scrunch it. "Will you try to stop?"
"Nope." I shrugged, I knew myself and I couldn't change, not when what I felt came from so deep inside of me. "I'm not going to change my mind."
He sighed as he hugged me, "Are you still mad?"
"Yes I'm mad at myself because I hate being mad and I'm mad at you because you're too sexy." I dead panned and it was his turn to laugh. I hit his chest. "I'm serious."
"You look super serious." He teased me.
I pulled back, "Don't make fun of me. You should be more worried if I wasn't jealous, look at how it turned out with John." I said then basically ran into the bathroom, away from him. I looked at myself in the mirror as I washed my hand. I smiled. At myself. Like a lunatic. Oh yes I was definitely drunk. When I walked out, Caleb was still there, waiting for me. "Seriously?"
"Yeah I was afraid that Denis could sneak in and turn straight for you." He grinned from ear to ear and I was surprised to see this side of him.
I rolled my eyes and walked past him. "Hilarious."
"You know he hits on me all the time. Are you jealous of that?" Caleb tried not to laugh and I glared at him.
"Don't be ridiculous Caleb!" I protested as he sent me a pointed look and I grumbled under my breath. "Shut up! Be less.....you!!"
"Less me? I never knew you were such a feisty drunk." He teased me.
"I wasn't feisty the first time you saw me drunk?" I asked, tilting my head to the side, my hair falling over my left shoulder.
"I thought you didn't want me turned on." He replied, folding his arms over his chest.
I gave him a slow smile that was more naughty than it was nice. "I'm still mad. And jealous."
He nodded. "Can you also be happy too though?" He asked and I shrugged. "Please?"
"I just don't like her." I replied.
"Who? The flirty lesbian?" Lila asked, coming out of nowhere.
"See?!?! Even she thinks so!"
"It's not a big deal, lesbians really like me." Lila shrugged and Caleb started laughing while I glared at her. "Am I missing something?"
"Yes you are." I said flatly and when she gave me a questioning look I went on. "I'm jealous of that lesbian and I don't like her."
"She's a lesbian!" Lila cracked up, not helping my case at all.
"Didn't you see how she looked at Trav?" I asked back, crossing my arms against my chest.
She shrugged. "I have to admit that I'd make an exception for Trav even if I liked girls." She grinned wide. "Or for Caleb."
My man just laughed again. "That's ridiculous and unrealistic."
"God why are you keep talking and laughing." I groaned then walked away, heading back to the rest of the group and hearing them follow me.
Trav raised a brow, "It took you a lot, are you okay?"
I slumped next to him, pouting. "Perfect." I replied flatly.
"Do I have to kick his ass?" He asked skeptically.
I furrowed my brows as I realized that Mark and Nina weren't there anymore. "Where's Mark?" I asked instead.
He shrugged, running his hand through his hair before lighting another cigarette. "He went with Nina to pick a liquor or something."
"Tara is jealous of Nina." Lila announced with a chuckle. Great. But this time Caleb wasn't laughing. And I wasn't either. I didn't know if I was just generally annoyed and stressed for the bad situation we were with John and I was picking on the girl and maybe I was exaggerating a little the jealousy thing.
"Jealousy is a good thing usually." Trav said nonchalantly, his words coming out mixed with smoke. "As long is not too much."
I smiled at my cousin. "Thank you for being the only one on my side." I told him, wanting to ignore Caleb but also wanting to run into his arms.
“You’re never jealous.” Lila stated.
“Because I know I’m the best.” He smirked and Lila shook her head.
“And the most humble.” She replied dryly.
Caleb wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into him as we listened to the lovebirds.
“If it was humility you’re into you never would have glanced my way baby.” Travis winked and she shrugged.
“That’s not true, you’re still hot even if I had no idea you were kind of an ass.” She said, as if she was actually arguing over something legitimate instead of ridiculous.
“But you came after me even after you knew I was an ass.” Travis retorted.
“How did you too meet anyways?” I asked, realizing I didn't know that.
Lila and Trav looked at one another. “He coaches my nephews rugby team.” She started.
“And she used to work at Apple.” Trav finished.
“What did you do for Apple?” Caleb asked, pulling me closer and kissing the top of my head. I relaxed into him and he leaned down to whisper in my neck. “If you want I’ll be all over you so she knows I’m all yours.” He teased.
“Ha ha.” I whispered back in a monotone but didn’t pull away as he chuckled into my neck. He felt too good for me to move.
“I was a graphic designer. I never really thought I could actually make it as an artist.” She shrugged. “I was lucky.”
“You’re not lucky. You’re talented and you work your ass off.” Travis interjected.
Lila beamed at him and I shook my head. “That’s the most nice things I’ve ever heard Travis say in once sentence.” I joked.
“Do you still do graphic design?” Caleb asked. “I need to re-do my website, the guy who did it originally was a hack.”
Lila perked up. “Oh I’d love to help! Physical Therapy is kicking my ass and I don’t want to hole up and paint when I get home but I can build a website from bed!”
“I’d pay you of course….” Caleb trailed off but she shook her head.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I mean if you want to send me some cases of wine I won’t mind…” She smirked.
“Consider it done.” He grinned.
"You weren’t done telling the story!” I said, wanting to hear it..
“I don’t know if there is much of a story….we met, we were into each other." She shrugged.
“No way was it insta-love with you two.” I shook my head. I knew Travis, he wasn't the love at first sight kind of guy.
“More like insta-lust.” Lila smirked at Travis.
“The love came later.” He replied.
"Then what?" I asked, loving to hear about their story. I hadn't known Lila long enough to drill her about her romance with my cousin and Travis wasn't exactly the best story teller.
Mark and Nina chose that moment to appear. "What are you guys talking about?" The nosy lesbian asked and for the fist time she did something useful which was filling our glasses with a brand new wine.
"Lila and Travis love story." I said curtly and drank my wine before sitting on Calebs lap and looking at Travis. "Go on."
"I don't think everyone's interested in hearing that." He grinned wide.
Make just shrugged, and Nina nodded. I talked first. "I am and that's enough." I grumbled.
"Easy tiger." Caleb whispered into my ear as he wrapped his arms around my waist.
Lila laughed. "Okay. Well...there's not much else to tell." She blushed as she glanced at Trav with heart shaped eyes. I swear these two were the most random and sweetest couple at the same time.
"She told me she loved me and I was an ass, leading her on first and then disappearing." Trav went on, making us chuckle for the blunt way he was explaining their past.
I tensed a little, wondering how Caleb would react if I told him I loved him. That was why I wasn't telling him. Not yet. "That's so Travis." I commented nonchalantly, hoping that Caleb wasn't noticing anything weird about me. I was overthinking. Enough! "This wine is good." I added randomly.
“You’re making me sound pathetic.” Lila frowned. “I told you I loved you to explain why we wouldn’t work together. You know because your heart used to be made of stone.” Chuckles around us ensued while Travis smirked at his girl.
“We know you’re not pathetic.”
Lila shrugged and moved closer to Travis. “I was a little without him.” She admitted. “We broke up for a few months when I was worried my feelings would never be matched by his. It was one thing to be fooling around and be more into the guy than he was to you, but I was in way too deep to keep it up."
“So she left me.” Trav replied, his eyes going dark as he retold this part of the story.
“It didn’t stick.” Lila replied. “Though it took you long enough.” She sighed. “I thought I would be sad forever.” She pouted and Travis poked her nose, making her wiggle and laugh.
“I’d never let that happen.” He replied. “Just took losing you to really understand what I’d had.” He shrugged, both of them staring into each others eyes as if they’d forgotten we were here.
I sighed. “That’s so much more romantic than I’d thought it would be.” She said softly.
“I guess every romance is different.” Lila admitted. “My sister and Jax though? They were insta-love.” Travis scoffed.
“Oh tell us about them too! I’ve seen pictures of Ruby, but I’ve never even met Colbie!”
“You’d have to ask them about that one.” Lila said. “All I know is the minute Colbie actually agreed to date Jax was the moment that she turned back into a 14 year old girl."
“It was contagious too. Jax did the same thing.” Travis replied, shaking his head.
"But they’re happy right? They have Ruby and….What’s your nephews name?” I asked.
“Will.” Lila nodded, beaming with pride for her family. “Yes, they’re blissfully happy.”
“Do you think they’ll get married?” I asked.
Lila just blinked and then looked at Trav who shrugged. “I have no idea.” She admitted. “Colbie was married before and it didn’t end so well, I don’t know if her opinion on marriage is the same….”
“I thought I’d never get married again.” Caleb piped in, joining the conversation instead of just pawing at me.
I turned to him. “And now you changed your mind?" I asked, my eyes wide. Please say yes.
He winced, “I mean I never thought I’d have a girlfriend again and I proved that wrong. I wouldn’t be opposed to getting married again, it would just have to be really different…..” He trailed off. “Worth the risk of going through what I went through with Selene.” I stared at him. Wow.
“Makes sense.” Travis replied.
“Let’s not talk about Selene though, this is good wine, I don’t want to waste it.” Nina said, scrunching her face up, ruining the moment.
"Agreed." I conceded to miss lesbian pants while Caleb's words played into my head. I didn't want to start dreaming and fantasizing though, I didn't want to believe one day he'd really be the man that could be my husband, it was a scary thought because I was too afraid it couldn't happen instead. I wanted to talk about it with him, ask him if he was really considering to give himself a second chance with me, but i already knew I wouldn't have the courage to bring up the subject. What if he took what he had said back? As my brain worked hard my eyes landed on Trav and Lila who looked as if they were one person only and not for the physical closeness, more for the aura around them. Enough drinking for me, I couldn't believe I just said aura in my head. "What are you guys doing tonight?" I asked them.
"We're heading back home, we have no plans but Lila needs to rest." Travis explained, wrapping his arm around her.
"I need you to give me a damn break." Lila groaned like a cute little tiger ready to jump at his throat and it was adorable. Travis was completely unfazed and I guessed that was part of their routine too. What was my routine with Caleb? Did we even have one?
Nina chuckled and shook her head. "He's just acting like the caring boyfriend, you can't complain." Doctor Strangelove said. "At least you have the whole day to relax, I'm stuck here working instead."
"You shouldn't complain either." Mark grinned at his sister and I noticed just now how quiet Caleb was being. "You should grab the glasses and start cleaning then." The handsome owner said and we all took that as a cue for us to go. We said goodbye, thanked them, then headed back to our cars.
"I'm so sad that we have to leave already." Lila pouted, launching herself against me to hug me.
An idea popped into my head. "You and Trav should stay." I said with a big grin on my stupid drunk face. "We can go out tonight too for dinner or something. You can go to my place and get some rest, take a shower, pick anything you want from my closet...make yourself at home and we'll see you again in a few hours?"
"I feel like I'm taking advantage of now nice you are but oh my god I'd love that." Lila said back, trying to hide her enthusiasm and failing.
Trav looked at me. "You don't have to do that Tara."
"Oh shut up just take the keys." I fished them out of my bag and threw them at him, giggling. "I'll stay with Caleb, I'm sure he doesn't mind."
"Damn right." He smirked at him even though it didn't reach his eyes. Or maybe I was overthinking and seeing things that didn't exist. "I'll text you the name of the restaurant as soon as I'll make a reservation." Caleb told them then we parted ways.
I stopped him before he could get into the car, pushing him against it by gluing my body against him. I love you, I said in my head. "Thank you for calling them." I said out loud instead. "I know I'm a little crazy today so thank you for still being amazing with me too." I love you Caleb and I hope one day I'll be the woman you'll let be yours again, I added in my alcohol fogged brain even though I definitely thought that. The only difference was that I didn't usually talk to myself in my head when I was sober, the content? Was the same. I really hoped I'd be the right girl for Caleb.
Caleb cupped my face, sliding his hand against my cheek and showing me emotion in his eyes that I was sure was reflecting in my own. “I can handle a little crazy.” He smirked.
I smacked against his chest playfully. “You’re supposed to tell me I’m not really crazy!!!” I laughed.
“What do you want to do before dinner?” He asked, his fingers idly playing with my hair.
“I’m kind of sleepy, but if I nap I’ll never wake up so lets stop at the bakery and-“
He stopped me. “No. You’re not going to work.”
“But I was just going to make some coffee!” I protested.
“There are plenty of coffee shops where you don’t have to do all the work.” He teased.
I made a face. “Are they good though?”
He shook his head. “They’re good enough. When you’re behind the counter you know you’ll think about work and probably do some and I want to talk to you and touch you and have all of your attention.” He grinned, my face broke into a smile. “Plus you’re too tipsy to work around hot fluids right now.” He added. God I loved him.
"Are you okay to drive?” I asked.
“I had only a sip of each wine and haven’t drank in over an hour.” He laughed.
“Okay. We should go to Celedon for dinner.” I said as he opened the car door for me like the gentleman he always was.
“Good idea.” He texted his assistant to make reservations while he drove us to TNT coffee, a little shop only a few minutes away.
I barely noticed how we got there. “Caleb.” I said after he’d grabbed two espressos and sat us down on one of the oversized couches in the back.
“Mmm?” He asked, sipping the strong liquid and savoring it.
“I-“ I sighed and felt like I was lost for words. I had drank too much for words.
“What’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. I’m worried.”
He reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear before tilting my chin up to look at me. "If you’re worried than it’s not nothing.” He replied.
I got lost into his gorgeous eyes and I scooted closer to him until I was cuddled against his side, his body so warm and soft yet so hard. "I don't remember." I blinked at him, realizing I was too focused on him to actually think. Oh well maybe that was for the best.
He poked my side, making me jump, "Don't be silly." He grinned.
"No, I promise. I genuinely don't remember. My mind is blank." I told him and frowned then shrugged, resting my head against his chest and not caring if it was unappropriate because we weren't teens anymore and we were supposed to act like adults and also not caring in general because this felt just so good, he felt so good.
He sighed, kissing the top of my head as he played with my hair. "Okay, but it's weird that you suddently forgot what you were worried about." He said softly.
"It's not weird because I still feel a little drunk and you're so amazing you distract me." I pointed out matter of factly, reaching for his free hand and playing with his fingers. His chest vibrated against my back as he laughed softly. "I'm worried about us." I said eventually, quietly, not even looking at him and not remembering exactly what I had thought before but I knew how to get back there.
"What about us?" He asked and I could tell he was having a hard time sounding so controlled.
"I don't know, sometimes it's irrational, like when I'm worried that a lesbian could want you and other times it makes more sense, like when I think about John or Selene or all the odds against us...or the future." I talked quietly and closed my eyes, relaxing against him. I was too exhausted to fight against....anything. I needed a break and I needed Caleb.
He tensed from behind me, "Don't you think we're going to last?" He asked and from the sound of his voice it sounded like he was the one who thought that.
I let out a sigh, tangling my fingers with his as I brought our hands to my chest, where my heart was. He was the one, drunk or not drunk I knew it. "If it was up to me I'd marry you even right now." I made it sound like a joke, even chuckling, then added, "Let's say I'm generally worried of how we're going to get to the future part since we have to go through family drama. I don't know. Maybe I drank too much to have this kind of conversation right now."
“Maybe we should come back to this conversation when you’re sober before we run off to Vegas.” Caleb smirked, surprising me with his reaction.
I widened my eyes and then laughed. “I’ve never been to Vegas.” I replied. "It could be fun.”
“You’ve never been to Vegas?” He questioned, surprised.
I shook my head. “No. I haven’t been many places honestly.” The thought of discovering the whole world with Caleb though? I loved it and it thrilled me.
“Because you’re too busy working?”
I shrugged. “I guess so. But I love it here. It’s home.”
“You’re cute you know.” He said softly.
I nodded. "And pretty.” I added. “Also talented.”
“Yes and yes.” He grinned.
“That’s how I landed a super sexy man.” I shrugged, bragging, which was something I never did, not when I was sober anyway.
“And silly.” He laughed, sipping his drink again and then licking his lips. “Why do you think Selene is an obstacle?” He asked.
“Because she’s still in your life.” Because she's a bitch.
“Yes, but that has nothing to do with us.” He reasoned. “We’re divorced, there are no left over feelings or anything.”
“Except for the ones that ended with her in your bed even after you got divorced.” I pointed out, knowing I was right.
“That was more than a year ago. And it wasn’t love….it was more loneliness and familiarity.” He replied.
“Who’s to say she doesn’t get lonely again?” I asked.
“No one I guess, but when she finds out I have a girlfriend now she won’t try anything.”
I snapped my head towards him. “WHEN she finds out? Why wouldn’t she already know?!”
“Because I haven’t spoken to her!” He pulled me back into him. “I mean she knows as much as she figured out from the last time you saw her, that was ages ago.”
"Can we stop talking about her? It's giving me a massive headache and I don't need that." I groaned, massaging my temples already.
He raised one eyebrow slowly, and for once I couldn't read his face. At all. I hated that. "Would you rather talk about John?" He fired back.
I shrugged nonchalantly. "If you want. At least I didn't marry him." I said with a chuckle.
It was his turn to groan, "Not funny, at all." He said against my shoulder.
"You're right. Can you imagine divorcing a lawyer? Damn, that wouldn't go well for my finances at all." I shook my head, finding that oddly amusing. John hadn't been right for me, at all, and not just because of money, I knew that now that I had found Caleb. This was how love was supposed to feel.
"Can you stop talking about him?" My man narrowed his eyes on me and I didn't know if he was jealous or generally annoyed about the subject at hand. But it was his cousin we were talking about so it wasn't like he was going to disappear, he'd always be in our lives. Actually, I hoped he would, I didn't want Caleb to lose a friend.
I shot him an innocent look. "What do you want to talk about instead?"
"Anything." He sighed then buried his face in the crook of my neck, making me shiver.
I got lost into my thoughts a moment, rewinding this day in my head. "I'm happy that we're going to a double date tonight." I said eventually.
He chuckled against me before pulling back. "What?! I think Travis and Lila are beyond the dating point."
I smiled at him sweetly, my heart full of all the feels. "I hope one day we will too."
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