8.02.2016

if i fall for you, i'll never be the same.

I walked up and knocked on the door to Tara's bakery, not really knowing what I was doing there but knowing I needed to be. It was closed, so I walked around the back, seeing Tara walk out the back.
"I knocked on the front but it was closed." I said as she walked up to me.
"Yeah." she nodded, setting her hands on her hips and taking a deep breath, "I'm closing early tonight."


"Why?" I asked, studying her and her beautiful face.  "You never do." I added, hoping she was okay, hoping I hadn't made her life all the more complicated.
"I have an appointment later." she said and glanced at the watch on her wrist.
"Don't you have the other girl working?" I asked, wanting to reach out and tuck her hair behind her ear. To touch her at all honestly.
"So many questions." she chucked, as she pulled her long hair up into a knot at the top of her head. "I fired her." I opened my mouth to ask her why but she seemed to read my mind.  "I can't afford keeping her here anymore, I need to save and she wasn't that necessary. I need to keep Denis because he actually helps me baking, but I can serve the tables myself, so...it was me only today. Denis got a flu." she explained, sighing and looking exhausted....but still gogeous. Always. I dropped my eyes at the box at her feet before looking back into her face.
"Do you need money Tara? What's going on? Because if it's for the rent I-" Tara raised her hand, cutting me off.
"Everything's fine Caleb and I'll pay the rent by the end of the week like I do every month." she said seriously. "It's just that as you can guess I don't live with John anymore, and since his apartment was, well, his, I don't pay any rent. Now I'll have to so I'm trying to figure out how to make everything work, I have to ease into this new situation...it's going to take a little while but I'll be fine." she explained then swallowed as her cheeks turned pink. "Sorry I'm talking too much."
"So you're really broken up." I commented, meaning to just think it, but it came out of my mouth instead.
"Of course. I wasn't lying to you." I licked my lips and ran my hand over my face as I shrugged.
"I guess a part of me thought you'd go back to him." I admitted, and my whole body seemed to relax at the thought that she was still single.
"I didn't break up with him for you." She retorted, then shook her head. "Not just for you at least." It was then that I noticed just how many boxes were in the room and I almost cursed out loud.
"Where are you living now?" I asked, an edge to my voice that I knew she could hear.
"Um. Here." She shruged and I looked at the sky and shook my head. Ridiculous.
"Are you fu.cking kidding me?" I asked and she set her hands on her hips.
"Don't talk to me like that!"
"Tara you can't sleep here!!!" I pointed to her puny office and shook my head again. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"You didn't ask." She shrugged and this time I could tell that she was just as annoyed with me as I was with her.
"I kind of had other things on my mind the last time I saw you and I didn't think you were stubborn enough to sleep here when I have so much extra room!!!!" I exclaimed.
"I"m not living with you." I rolled my eyes.
"I'm not asking you to put your clothes in the same closet Tara I'm telling you I house the families of entire wedding parties on my property. If you need a place to stay while you look at an apartment you just have to ask." She shook her head.
"This is fine."
"No." I said sharply and her eyes zoomed to mine.
"That whole dominant order me around thing is hotter when you're naked. In real life it's mostly just annoying." She retorted, her eyes narrowing on me.
"You need a goddamn bed Tara, come on, this isn't about us. You're my friend. I'm not letting you sleep here again. Plus I'm pretty sure it's against healthcode to live in your bakery."
"No one is going to check, so it will be fine." Tara glared at me. "Also is temporary." I crossed my arms over my chest as I looked down at her, not impressed at all.
"How long has it been temporary already?"
"I'm going to see an apartment later so it just for tonight only hopefully." she explained, shaking her head as she basically ignored my question.
"Okay so tonight you're sleeping in my guests house."
"Caleb, thank you, I appreciate it and everything but no. I can take care of myself and I don't need any help." Tara retorted just as finally, but I wasn't taking that. I rolled my eyes and groaned.
"You do need help only you're too stubborn to ask."
"Maybe, so what." she said flatly, looking like she was almost waiting for a fight.
"Why aren't you staying with your sister?" I asked promptly, never missing a beat.
"Because she never liked John and I don't want to hear her tell me I told you so the whole time!" I just blinked back at her.
 "Would she, really?"
"No." she said deadpan and I smirked because I knew it. "It's just that I don't want any help."
"Listen Tara, we can do this the easy way and you say yes or I'll carry you to the guest house myself." I replied, looking down at her and knowing that she knew I meant business.
"Uhm don't plant that thought in my head..." she trailed off, biting her lip and making me groan again....this time for a completely different reason. I could still feel her silky skin under my hands for fu.cks sake, still hear her begging me for more....it was torture.
"Tara. You're playing dirty." I muttered.
"I wish." she said back and I blinked at her, tempted to take her back into the bakery and make her forget that anything had ever gone wrong for her...for us.
"Tara." I ran my hand through my hair and she sighed.
"You're exhausting me. Listen, if the apartment I'm going to see is awful I'll do as you say, okay?"
"You could still tell me it's amazing just not to accept my offer." I said back, shaking my head.
"I'm not a liar." she narrowed her eyes, "But if you don't trust me you can come with me and see with your own eyes."
"Fine." I replied, narrowing my eyes and knowing a challenge when I heard one.
"I was serious about the bossy thing being better when you're naked." She smirked and I rose a brow at her.
"If you want me naked I won't turn you down." I said seriously.
"You already did." Tara replied, licking her lips and looking at her feet. I took a step closer to her and tilted her head up with my fingers.
"If I remember correctly what I said was that I wasn't done with you." Tara's eyes clouded over she swallowed slowly.
"But you don't want to be with me." She whispered.
"I have also never said that."
"Caleb..." I ran my fingers down her neck slowly.
"We only had one night...think of all we have left to do..." Tara's eyes dialated but she took a deep breath and didn't even move.
"No I don't want to think about it." she said firmly.
"Why?" I asked, my fingers reaching to cup the back of her neck.
"Because I don't have time. I have to find a place to live." She said, looking at the floor. I shook my head and grabbed her hips, pulling her against me, not being able to help myself.
"I'm sure you can find plenty of time instead...come on Tara, don't tell me you don't think about our night together and wonder what else we could do."
"I do." she admitted, setting her hands on my chest. "It's a tempting thought, but then I remember we don't want to same things. You were right Caleb." she added, pulling away from me.
"I don't want to be right." I said almost fiercely and pulled her back against against me, where she fu.cking belonged, my arms wrapping tight around her tiny waist. I kissed her as soon as she was close enough, feeling her kissing me back, hard,. Her hands fisted against my shirt and she moaned softly.
"I'm starting to think you're a bad influence." she muttered against my mouth, her eyes making me lose my mind.
"Good." I commented simply, moving my hands down to her a.ss because I couldn't keep them off of her.
"I still have to go see the apartment" she reminded me.
I growled because as much as I liked the sound of her voice I wanted to kiss her more than talk.
"When?"
"Um..." She was a little breathy which made me smirk more as she shut her eyes to think.
"What time is it?" I pulled my arm away from her to look at my watch.
"4:30."
"Then 30 minutes." I hissed in disappointment.
"How far?"She shrugged.
"Probably 20 minutes." Definitely not enough time for what I wanted, but enough for me to press my lips against her again and taste her sweet mouth. She groaned into my mouth and fisted my shirt again, I loved the way she responded when I kissed her.
"Okay let's go." I grabbed her hand and she smiled as I held onto it while we walked to my car.
"Seriously?" She made a face at my black corvette and I rose a brow at her.
"What?" She just shrugged.
"Men who drive cars like this are usually compensating for a tiny di.ck." I let out a long laugh because honestly I didn't much care for my car, Selena had picked it out and I just never bothered to get a new one.
"That's exactly why I bought this." I said in a fake monotone.
"I know that's not true." She grinned a wicked smile that was almost out of character for her and my di.ck strained against my pants.
"Then your theory must not be true." I shrugged.
"I'm always right instead." she retorted as she bit down on her lip, letting go of my hand regretfully.
"Not yet." I said seriously, grabbing her wrist to pull her against me one more time, cupping her face and kissing her hard and long, throwing everything I could into it, saying with my body what I didn't know how to with words. Her hands grabbed onto my belt this time as she moaned and pulled us closer together. She bit down on my lip and I was tempted to take her up against my car but then she pulled away.
"I hate being late." she smirked before we finally managed to get into the car. I pulled onto the road, feeling her looking at me as I drove through the traffic.
. "You're staring." I said after a while, smirking as I stared at the road.
"I know, so what?" she said back and didn't stop, crossing her long legs, "Afraid to blush?" I laughed.
"No, not happening."
"You know, I didn't think you were like this." she commented, and I dropped a hand on her leg, glancing at her for jsut a moment.
"Like this...how?"
"First of all? C.ocky." she chuckled and undid the bun on the top of her head to let her hair down around her shoulders. "You always look so modest, so controlled, so balanced. I had no idea you had this wild side."
"You're making me wild." I replied smoothly moving my hand between her legs, so tempted to get her off as we drove but instead just grabbing her hand, not wanting to crash the damn car.....she was distracting.
"Don't use lines with me Caleb." she said quietly, "You don't need them."
"That wasnt a line." I said seriously, pulling up to the apartment complex Tara had guided me to. It didn't look good but I didn't say anything. Yet. We walked up to the building where a young red head in a bright pink suit came up to us with a smile.
"Hello!" She grinned, then looked up at me slowly while I wished I had grabbed my sunglasses from my car because that pink was almost blinding.
"Hey Jessica." Tara smiled and shook the womans hand who finally turned towards me. "This is my...." she took a second to look at me as if she couldn't decide how to introduce me. "This is Caleb."
"Nice to meet you." She smiled and shook my hand too. "So this is a one bedroom one bathroom apartment, on the first floor."
"First?" I asked, raising a brow at the woman.
"That's all that's available at such short notice here." she shrugged.
"No." Was my response. This neigboorhood wasn't the best already, I wasn't letting her live on the bottom floor.
"We're at least going to see it." She replied, though she looked skeptical herself. I shook my head and grabbed her hand as I pulled her into me.
"If you stay here I'm spending every damn night here making sure no one breaks in." She grinned.
"Would that be so bad?" She tilted her head and I smirked because the look on her face was both sexy and adorable and that was a rare find.
"No." I chuckled. "But I don't have time to drive here and back every day." She rolled her eyes and I grabbed her hand again, pulling her closer to me because I liked it. The real estate girl opened the door to the apartment and we walked in and I shook my head.
"Are you fu.cking serious Tara?"
"There are just so few options with your price range and availability...." The woman trailed off.
"There's barely even a kitchen!" I exclaimed.
"Well I have a bakery, I don't really need a kitchen..." She trailed off. I wanted to spank her. Damn stubborn woman.
"Don't be ridiculous." I replied, wincing at the dirty carpet. I hated carpet.
"I'm not but I don't have many options Caleb." she snapped at me, firey as always. She tried to let go of my hand but I didnt' let her. She wasn't going to pull away so easily.
"You do have an option and not only it's better than this place but it's free too!" I said back. Jessica gave her a sympathetic look,
"If I were you I'd pick that option and let me more time to find you a place better than this." She said seriously and the fact that she wasn't trying to get Tara to take this apartment hopefully proved to Tara this was a terrible idea.
"See?" I looked at her with a brow raised. She pursed her lips together and sighed.
"I can't wait much longer, I really need a decent apartment." she told her, ignoring me and almost acting cold but I didn't care because I got my way.
"Give me a week top and you'll have it." She nodded seriously, "I'll call you as soon as o find something."
"Thank you Jessica. I'll talk to you soon hopefully." she told her and we said goodbye before we walked out of that hell hole.
"Damn you're stubborn." I pointed out. She stopped in her tracks, this time wrenching her hand out of mine and looking back with fire in her eyes.
"Listen carefully. Don't try ever again to act like you know what's better for me, I like taking my decisions alone thank you." I blinked back at her, surprised at her outrage.
"Oh come on Tara you know that apartment was awful! You could never live there." I retorted.
"I know it wasn't ideal but I didn't need you to be so vocal in front of the real state agent, I don't like when I can't say things because someone else says them for me. I'm a grown up woman, I can decide if I want to live in a a.hit hole or not!" she started but she wasn't done. "I appreciate your concern, I really do, just don't step on my toes. And another thing, if I'm going to live for a week in your guest house I'm going to pay. I'm not taking no as an answer, either you make me pay or I'll keep staying in my bakery."
"Tara you haven't made me pay for food or coffee in over a year." I pointed out. "That's worth far more than staying at my guest house for a few weeks."
"It won't be weeks." She shook her head. "And you still paid for it. You always put in twice as much as the food is worth in the tip jar. Stop doing that by the way!!!"
"I always tip well." I replied, narrowing my eyes at her.
"200% well?" She glared. "I don't need your charity Caleb."
"I don't do things for you for fu.cking charity." I said in a voice of forced control. "I do them because you're my friend and I-" I shook my head as my mind reeled over the words I had been about to say. "I care about you!" She looked like she didn't have any words anymore as she licked her lips. Or maybe she was just finding something else to yell at me about.
"Thank you." She said finally, but I wasn't sure if she was mad at me still or not.
"Get in the damn car stubborn woman." I shook my head and didn't even open the door for her this time because apparently she didn't like it anyways. For a moment I thought she might not listen, but then she was sliding in to the seat next to me.
"I'm still paying you something."
"What would I even do with that money?" I asked. "I dont' need it."
"You could buy a less pretentious car." she offered and I couldn't help it. I started laughing. I caught her smirking next to me.
"You are always surprising me." I admitted.
"In a good way?" She asked, her voice softer now. I nodded and grabbed her hand again.
"In a great way." I squeezed her hand and she smiled.
"I'm guessing you're not going to want the chef." I started speaking out loud.
"What chef?"
"My guest house has a chef on staff." I replied.
"Oh for fuc.ks sake Caleb." She rolled her eyes. "No I don't need a chef."
"Are you sure?" She glared at me and then shrugged.
"That depends. Is he hot?" I growled a little as I pulled into my house.
"It's a woman. But I hear the owner of the winery is extremely good looking." I replied. She smirked as I killed the engine, turning to look at her.
"Do I know him? Can you introduce him to me?" she teased.
"No." I said simply and chuckled before getting out of the car, walking around and glancing at her since she hadn't moved. "What are you doing?"
"I'm waiting for you to open the door." she smirked.
"Oh really?" I asked but did that anyway, "I thought you didn't like that."
"I do." she said as she got out too before heading towards her bakery but I caught up with her, grabbing her hand.
"Hey, where are you going?" She smiled and let her fingers mix with mine.
"I need to get at least one bag with my stuff for tonight." she told me quietly.
"Oh." I paused and then smiled at her. "So you're really going to stay at my guest house."
"Yes, afraid I'd run?" she teased as she let go of my hand to grabbed a bag with her stuff.
"Honestly? Yes." I shook myhead, grabbing the bag from her hand. "You're so damn stubborn." I added, muttering under my breath. Tara laughed as we walked down towards my winery.
"We still have to figure out a way for me to pay you." she said seriously.
"Can I suggest something?" I asked, grinning down at her.
"Caleb. No." she said back but blushed anyways. "An actual way."
"Too bad." I shook my head as if I was talking to myself and opened the door to my guest house.  Tara stepped inside and pouted, but then gave a forced smile.
"It's nice here." In that moment her phone rang and she picked up the call. "Hey. Yes I'm okay. What about you?" i heard a womans voice talking from the other end but couldn't make out any words, not that i would eavesdrop if i could.
"Of course you can. I'll wait for you at the bakery." she said. "Night baby."
"Who was it?" I asked then swallowed, "Sorry I didn't mean to ask that."
"It's okay, it was my sister." she explained and then let her eyes wander around the house awkwardly.
"What's up Tara?" I asked.
"This house is huge." she said quietly, leaning back against my chest.
"It's meant for more than one person." I admitted.
"I feel tiny in here." She said, leaning into me, her soft curves pressed against my chest. Fu.ck she fit in my arms so well dispite our height difference.
"You are tiny." I replied, kissing the top of her head and wrapping my arms around her tighter.
"What are we doing?" She whispered and I turned her so I could see her face.
"I wont let you sleep in your bakery again. You need a damn bed. I'd ask you to stay in mine if I thought you'd say yes."
"If I stayed in yours I'd never actually sleep and then I'd be too tired to work. My bakery would get me more rest." She said so seriously despite the heat in her eyes.
"I let you sleep a little last time." I replied, giving me some credit.
"I wore you out you mean." She smirked and I laughed....damn she kept me on my toes.
"Not even close sunshine." I replied, running my thumb across her lower lip. "But I'd let you try again if you wanted."
"Sunshine?" she echoed me, smirking before catching my thumb between her teeth and nibbling gently.
"Don't you like it?" I asked as I trailed my hand down her neck moving my head closet to hers until I was almost kissing her.
"I don't know." she whispered. I grinned and then pressed my lips against hers, cupping her neck as she let her mouth fall open so I could slide my tongue against hers, the kiss getting deep fast. She made me lose my mind.
 "Do you want me to show you the bedroom?" I asked once we managed to break the kiss.
"I can find the way by myself." she told my in a breathy voice that just made my ego inflate. "Show me the kitchen first." she added. I grinned and grabbed her hand to lead her through the hallway.
"You're going to love it." I announced before we stepped inside, her eyes widening.
"Everything here is huge." she commented, brushing her finger tips against the smooth stainless steel surfaces.
"You can say that." I said back, breaking into a big grin.
"Oh naughty Caleb." she laughed. "I'm starting to think it's true what they say, that quiet ones are the naughtiest."
"You have no idea." I replied seriously, and I watched as her eyes held mine and she licked her lips.
"I have some ideas..." She trailed off and smirked back at me while a dozen visuals of just how bad I wanted to be with her ran through my head. It was if being in her presense made me forget everything except how much I wanted her....and shockingingly, even more than how much I wanted her, how much I genuinely liked her. All of her. Not just her perfect curves and satin skin and sweet sounds she made when I touched her. But her beautiful eyes that were so expressive, the way she walked like the dancer I now knew she was. The way she cared so much about the things she loved. I was starting to worry about how much I felt for her.
"I hope you'll share them with me eventually." I grinned and tugged on her arm to bring her closer.
"Eventually." She replied, and I pushed her hair out of her eye as she studied me.
"What?" I asked after feeling a little exposed by how those eyes were staring.
"You.....how did I not know about..." She trailed off.
"How did you not know I've wanted you since the moment I saw you?" I asked. She swallowed and nodded, her big eyes so telling. "I don't really know. Somedays I was in control but there were too many times when I was sure you'd guess how I felt."
"I never did. I was too wrapped up in my own mess of a relationship to realize what was right in front of me."
"Does it matter now?" I asked.
"What does?" she asked back.
"Everything." I shrugged, still keeping her close to me. She just shook her head before looking back up to me.
"No...when I'm with you nothing really matters. You make me forget everything because when we're together I feel good and the rest, all my problems, disappear." she said honestly, making me feel...shocked, surprised, turned on.....guilty. She made me feel. Everything.
"Tara-" she set her index finger on my lips.
"I don't expect anything from you, don't worry. I was just telling you how I feel because you're my friend and you're helping me. That's all." I swallowed and tucked her hair away.
"Okay."
"Show me the bedroom?" she asked, giving me a grin. I smirked and lead her around to the other side of the house.
"Tired?"
"A little." she sighed, "The couch in my bakery is not the most comfortable."
"You could have asked my help from the beginning." I muttered under my breath and shook my head.  Damn stubborn woman. "This I your bedroom. And it's the best one." She nodded, smiling at the room.
"It looks really nice. But why is it the best?" she asked out of curiosity.
"Because you can see my bedroom from the window." I shot her a cocky grin and she laughed.
"So you're assuming I'm going to creep on you everytime I can?" she asked, looking out the curtains as I grinned. I hoped she would.
"No, maybe I will instead." I shrugged, being honest.
"I don't want to stay alone tonight." she confessed after a moment, and I wondered how much of an invitation that realy was.
"I wasn't planning on letting you." I replied casually.
"No?" Her big eyes looked up at me and my stomach flipped as I shook my head.
"Do you think I'd be able to sleep knowing you were in a bed a few seconds away from me?" I asked.
"Are you going to stay with me every night then?" She asked, tilting her head to the side. I knew she was teasing but I really wasn't.
"I will until you kick me out."
"You said-" She started, but then she cut herself off and shook her head.
"I said what?" I blinked back at her, waiting for her to remind me I didn't want a relationship, that I had said I'd never be good enough for her. At least that part was still true. But it wasn't enough of a reason to stay away from this amazing woman.
"Nothing." She replied, her voice a little breathier. "It's still early....did you want to get something to eat?"
"I told you there's a chef on staff." I reminded her. She made a face.
"You have too much money Caleb." I laughed as I shook my head.
"There's no such thing." I replied, before lowering my mouth down to kiss her but hovering above her lips. "Do you want this?" I asked, loving the way her body was responding. Loving how shaky her voice got when she looked at me with those passion filled eyes. She just nodded as I let my hand trail down her neck and cup it tightly.
"Caleb-"
"What are you thinking?" I asked, before lowering my mouth to press soft kisses down her neck.
="Nothing because you're kissing me." she breathed out, making me grin into her skin.
"It's impossible that you think nothing, you're too smart for that." I muttered before pulling back to look at her.
"I'm thinking that your suit looks very uncomfortable." she replied softly and slid her hands under the heavy fabric of my blazer to push it past past my shoulders and off making me grin.
"I don't have a change here." She shrugged and tossed my jacket on the couch behind her and then dropping her hands against my chest again.
"I don't think you need one." she told me as she unbuttones his white shirt.
"I don't think you need one either." I replied in a low voice because her hands on me made me lose it. She pulled my shirt out of my pants and laughed lightly.
"But I'm not uncomfortable." she said back before pushing my shirt off too.
"But this is not fair. I'm shirtless and you're still all covered." She shrugged and stepped back.
"If you think it's a problem." she said, pulling off her top and leaving her in a grey cotton bra that showed off her perfect breasts and tight body, making her look both like an angel and a bad girl at once. God she was perfect.
"Tara."
"What's next? Because I'm telling you, my panties are even worse than my bra." she said and set her hands on her hips as she tilted her head to the side, but i was barely listening because she was so damn sexy. "Oh and I'm still hungry so if you're having bad thoughts..."
"Why would I have bad thoughts as you slide your hands all over me and take off your top?" She widened her eyes and then laughed.
"Did you just make a joke?" I nodded, but my eyes were on the way her sports bra hugged her boobs together fu.cking perfectly. Yeah I was having some bad thoughts....like fu.cking her perfect chest....and then that sweet mouth....
"I've been known to make a few."
"I need to do laundry..." She trailed off, almost as if she was explaining something to me which didn't make any sense.
"There's a laundry room down the hall. Or you can get it sent out."
"I do my own laundry Caleb." She laughed.
"Can we stop talking now?" I asked, tugging her back into me and kissing her fiercely. She moaned into my mouth as I cupped her head and pressed her up against the window that looked into my bedroom.
"Someone could walk by..." She whispered as my hands cupped her breasts through her bra, her nipples beading into my palms.
"So?" I asked, smirking at the way her breathing sped up and her eyes dialated. I knew there was no one around, but she didn't.
"Are you an exhibitionist Caleb?" She asked before I took her mouth again, my hand cupping her a.ss and rocking into her slowly.
"Maybe." I teased, my hand running to her jeans to unbutton and unzip them before I slid my hand down the front while she gasped. And then her phone started ringing on the floor. I had no idea how it had gotten there, we must have knocked it off her purse while he'd been kissing "Ignore it." she moaned, arching into my hand but I backed up like she'd shocked me.
"I can't..." I trailed off, blinking away from the picture still on her phone. "It's John." The guilt over took me as she froze.
"Ignore it." she repeated again but I pulled back and shook my head.
"No you have to take his call!" I said back harshly.
"But I don't want to!" Tara retorted while the phone kept ringing, only making me more anxious. I picked it up from the floor and handed it to her, glaring, feeling like the terrible person I was...but would I change anything? Probably not.
"Tara." I growled, "If you don't take it-"
"What?! You will?!" she spat, narrowing her eyes on me. I swallowed and she grabbed the phone from my hand and dialed.  "Hey sorry I didn't get your call in time....Yeah, I only had a meeting. What did you want? Oh. Sorry. I mean, okay I'll come to get everything tomorrow and I'll leave the key too." I licked my lips, pacing the floor as she spoke to him.
"What...what did he want?" I asked as she walked onto the bed and sat on the edge, staring at the air.
"He stopped at my bakery to give me some stuff." she answered in monotone, then bit down on my lip as she started quivering slightly.
"I-" I sighed and shook my head before kneeling in front of her. "I don't know what came over me."
"You feel guilty." She replied, looking at me with almost dead eyes. I shook my head slowly.
"I feel guilty that I haven't told him how I feel about you. I can't feel guilty for how I feel because you're amazing. Who could blame me?"
"He could have walked by." She whispered but I shook my head.
"He wouldn't have." I replied, cupping her face in my hands again. "Are you still hungry?" my mind was still battling my body which was practically begging me to start back where we left off, to pull down her jeans and taste her all over again.
"Yes." She whispered.
"Okay, let's go get some food." I grabbed my shirt, pulling my arms back through it and buttoning it most of the way before rolling up my sleeves.
"Aren't you going to get your jacket?" She asked after pulling her own top back on.
"No I'm hoping it'll mean you'll let me come back after." I smirked and I saw the spark dance in her eyes again.
"Oh you're tricky."
"There are so many sides of me you've yet to see." I smirked, grabbing her hand and kissing it before I led her back to my car.
"If we're going somewhere fancy....I mean I'm not really dressed." I shook my head.
"What you're wearing is perfect for what I have in mind." I replied. "Though even if we were going to a 5 star establishment no one would care what you're wearing."
"Because I'm so beautiful? Ha. I told you no lines." I laughed.
"No I was going to say because your nipples are still showing through your top." I smirked and she looked down before covering them with her hands.
"Oh my god Caleb."
"Aren't sports bra's suppossed to help with that? You know your overwhelming attraction to me?" I teased her and she rolled her eyes.
"The cocky side of you is one I'm not used to."
"Stop making me so cocky then." I teased, reaching over to grab her hand and squeeze it while we pulled up to my favorite little mexican restaurant.
"But I do nothing." she said back as we got seated at a small table in the corner of the room. I shook my head, leaning closer and not letting go of her hand.
"You compliment me a lot. And not just now, you always had." I said almost softly.
"Because you're amazing." she said softly as she used her free hand to cup my cheek, holding my gaze and fu.ck...she was so...something. I felt so much when she was around. "No arguing about that. I can't help thinking that."
"I still think you're overrating me." I said in a low voice.
"If I was I wouldn't be here." she told me before sealing her lips with mine. Finally.
"Ready to order?" A squeaky voice interrupted us and I pulled back and smiled at the young waitress.
"I'm taking whatever he's talking." she shrugged and smiled at me. I ordered my usual before turning back to her when the waitress walked off.
"Do you know what sometimes you look at me in a way that I can't read at all?"
"What?" I smirked and pushed her hair back again.
"What are you thinking about?"
"We look odd." she said simply. I laughed, causing her smile to widen for some reason. "What do you mean we look odd?!"
"Your shirt is a mess but you still look kind of fancy while I look like I just ran away from home. We are a odd pair!" she explained, picking her words carefully. I gave her an amused smile and raised an eyebrow at her.
"Do you care?"
"No, not at all." she said honestly then ran her thumb across the palm of my hand. "Thank you for this Caleb."
"This? This is nothing. So stop thanking me." I said seriously, closing my hand over his.
"I'm putting you in a bad situation and I don't like it. I'm not like this...I...I feel awful when I think about it. And yet I can't stop right now."
"I can't stop either." I admitted.
"So..." She started.
"So-" Just then the waitress came with our food and set it in front of us. I wanted to tell her that I was hers, that she had effectively ruined me for other women and that I didn't know if I'd be any good but I wanted to try with her. Because she was worth it.
"I don't want to put any expectations on us." She replied and I widened my eyes.
"What?"
"Maybe I need to spend some time figuring stuff out." She took a deep breath.
"Okay..." I trailed off, my plan to beg her to be mine flying out the window. I wanted to make her happy first and foremost after all.
"But I don't want to stop kissing you." She added, her eyes flicking to mine.
"Just kissing?" she smirked and bit her lip.
"I don't usually do casual sex." I nodded.
"I know." She ran her fingers through her hair.
"But I don't think I could say no to you." She whispered. I took a deep breath and sighed.
"I don't want to be the thing you do because you can't say no." I mumbled. I wanted her to want me for me not just because of how much chemistry we had. Even though we had so much heat between us I was surprised we didn't cause fires.
"It's not just that, you know it." she told me.
"Then what is?" I asked quietly before taking a big gulp of water.
"If I really really wanted to say no to you I would. The thing is I don't want to, and it's not just because all of a sudden I realized that the attraction between us is pretty much impossible to fight, it's because the more I know you the more I like you." I studied her and then shook my head, feeling the same way but also guilty and worried and....fu.ck.
"F.uck." I said it out loud and she winced.
"I never know the right thing to say around you." she added in a small voice, but I blinked up and looked into her eyes.
"Tara you didn't say anything wrong. You already know I like you and to hear you say you like me...f.uck."
"Please stop saying that, you're making me nervous." she made a face, still tortouring her bottom lip.
"Sorry." I chuckled, easing the tension a little, "What do you want to do?"
"I don't know, I'm confused and tired and..." she trailed off, sighing as she ran a hand through her hair and looked away. "I don't think we're in the right place to define what we are or what we want to do. You don't want what I want and as if that wasn't enough you're still John's cousin. Every possible scenario I imagine in my head only gives me a headache."
"I know what you mean." I sighed and then brushed my thumb against her cheek. God her skin was so soft. "We could just forget everything for a while...what do you think?" I suggested in a soft voice. She nodded even though we both knew it was stupid. Stupid but too irresistable. She smiled.
"See why I like you? You always have the best ideas."
"I've never been so reckless in my life than when I'm with you." I admitted, running my hand over my face. "And the crazy part is that it thrills me...I don't feel guilty even though I should."
"Don't feel guilty." I smiled and ran my thumb over her lips.
"I don't. I'm just enjoying your incredible company and also wondering when I can touch and taste and feel all of you again." Tara widened her eyes and then chuckled a little.
"It really is a wonder you're single with lines like that." I laughed with her.
"Yeah it does sound like I'm super smooth when I'm with you. I swear I'm not usually." She rose a brow.
"You're not smooth?" I shook my head.
"If anything I'm awkward. Or too serious."
"Who you?" She gave me a look of mock surprise and I rolled my eyes.
"Yes yes, you're not the first person to have told me that....I don't know. I never really needed to be good with women." Tara started laughing harder and I gave her a questioning look.
"You're crazy. You're like easily the sexiest man I've ever met. You don't need to be good with women you just need to look at them....or take off your shirt."
"The sexiest man you've ever met huh?" I smirked and she nodded.
"See and there's that smirk thing right there. Girls love that." I grinned wider and almost groaned as she licked her lips.
"Girls? Or you."
"I'm a girl." She smiled, being a little smartas.s.
"If I'm so sexy why didn't you notice me before?"
"It's not that I didn't notice you-" she started but cut herself off. Pausing, she raised one eyebrow slowly as she looked at me. "Are you fishing for compliments?"
"What? No!" I laughed, shaking my head.
"Don't you get enough from all the girls drooling over you?" she went on, propping her elbow on the table and resting her chin on her hand.
"No one ever drooled." I said seriously, "I'm curious because it's pretty obvious that you find me attractive."
"How is that obvious?" she asked, though she seemed amused still.
"You're even forgetting to eat just because you keep looking at me." I teased her.
"Oh god. You're right." she said and glanced down at our food. She finally grabbed a taco and took a bite. "Mhm. This is so good."
"Don't get sidetracked, I asked you a question." I grinned at her before starting to eat too. Tara licked the corner of her mouth and then swallowed.
"I noticed you from day one Caleb. You're handsome...that is obvious." I took a swig of my beer and thought about my words.
"I never thought you'd like me." I said honestly.
"I never thought I'd like you." she said back just as honestly and I shot her a questioning look as I ate. "I mean not like this. I always liked your looks and I started liking your personality as soon as I started knowing you. But it's like I never put the two things together...if that makes any sense."
"It might take a while to process your words." I grinned at her.
"It's all you're getting from me." she shrugged as she hid her beautiful grin into her glass of beer.
"I was going to ask you out the day I met you." I admitting. Remembering it so easily.
"You...what?"
"I had no idea who you were. I just saw you at that restaurant bar and when you turned and smiled. I wasn't sure what was more striking....your smile or those eyes."
"Caleb." She whispered, those eyes getting wide all over and I swear I could look at them forever.
"And then I felt like an as.shole when I realized you weren't only my cousins new girlfriend, but you were also about to be renting from me." Tara gave me a soft smile.
"You didn't have to feel guilty. You didn't know." I licked my lips, ready to tell her how I always thought it was just sexual, that it was because she was so off limits and so goddamn gorgeous that I had wanted her so much. But now that she was single and I'd had her in my arms? I knew it was more than that. But I didn't know how. And I was still pretty sure that I couldn't hold down a relationship to save my life. I saw what John did to her. I didn't want to be the second man to do the same. "Don't say it." She said, and I looked up at her, surprised.
"Don't say it?"
"Don't ask if you should feel guilty now." She replied. I smiled softly and grabbed her hands.
"That wasn't what I was going to say." I said seriously.
"I'm feeling....intense right now." She admitted.
"I thought you liked intense." I smirked, remembering how she'd said that was her type. She laughed.
"I do. But I feel like it might be too much. I'm starting to think too hard." I nodded and pushed back her hair, knowing that I could distract her easily.
"Think about me stripping you out of those clothes and tasting every inch of you instead." I watched those eyes I loved dialate as she bit down on her lip.
"Okay." She said breathily.
"I'm serious. Every fuc.king inch. I'm going to be slow...tease you until you can't take it anymore." she swallowed and I savored every moment of turning her on, loving how her face changed, how she wiggled against the table.
"Do you have idea of how hot you are?" she asked, cupping my jaw.
"I think so." I nodded as I shot her a big grin, "I'm cocky, remember?"
"Yes." she laughed and closed the small distance between us, kissing me hard again. "But just so you know, you don't need to do so much to distract me."
"What do you mean?" I asked as I dropped my hand on her knee.
"I mean you don't have to talk dirty to me to let me forget about all the rest." she confessed quietly. I brushed my nose against hers. I knew that, but I loved it anyways. Loved seeing her react to me. To ME.
"Are you complaining?"
"No, god no." she smirked and blushed slightly, "Being with you, talking to you, being in your arms...is enough for me to feel peace."
"God Tara." I let out a groan, "Do you know what your words do to me?" She kissed me and gave me a big smile.
"No but I hope it's good."

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