Caleb tried to keep his eyes on the road as he drove into the city with me next to him.
"What?" I asked, looking at him with wide eyes as I noticed he kept stealing glances of me.
"You look incredible tonight. That dress is something." He commented, his expression giving away the kind of thoughts he was having.
"You've seen me in less." I laughed, my hand smoothing the black dress I was wearing that was kind of conservative but showed my legs and my curves.
"That's the point. Everyone else at the party will only get a hint of how perfect you are. Only I'll be the one who knows what you look like without it." He winked and I laughed again.
"If you're just going to picture me naked then everything I wear will be good." I replied as I bit down on my lip.
"That's a good point." He commented, passing the car in front of him that was intent on going 10 under the speed limit.
"I'm full of them."
"Still won't stop me from picturing that skirt pushed up around your hips and whatever you're wearing underneath it ruined." He replied, smirking as he heard my breath catch.
"Mmm. Maybe that's why I wore it." I wiggled in my seat, getting impatient all of a sudden. I wanted to glue myself against this handsome and ridiculously sexy man sitting next to me.
He grinned wider before grabbing my hand and squeezing it. "If so? Mission accomplished."
"If you start talking to me like that now though it's going to be a long party." I smirked, meaning it too.
"Good point." He laughed. "Are you excited?"
I nodded, "Doesn't it show?" I asked, genuinely curious about how much I was giving away.
"I don't know you look kind of...I don't know, nervous too?" He said slowly.
This time I shook my head. "No I'm happy to start the new year with you instead." I smiled, keeping my eyes on him. "I don't know anyone though." I added as a second thought.
"You know me and that's enough." He shot me a wide smirk before moving his eyes back on the road.
I chuckled, because that was both silly and true. "Right, as long as you don't leave me alone to talk with someone else I'll be fine."
"Who should I talk to?" He asked back and raised one eyebrow.
"Don't you know anyone either? Are we even invited at this party?" I teased him. I didn't know much about tonight though, except for it was a party.
He laughed, the sound alone filling his car and my heart too. "One of the guys who invests in my winery invited me." He explained.
I furrowed my brows, trying to fill the dots. "So is this some kind of business party too?"
"No it's not." He answered, vaguely amused only God knew why.
"Why did you invite me?" I asked a moment later. We had been so busy during the so called Christmas holidays that when we had had the chance to be together I hadn't even asked him anything. I didn't care much to be honest, as long as we were together.
He stopped at the red lights and gave me a long look. "What kind of question is that?" He asked back and I just shrugged. "I had to go anyway and being with you is always better than not being with you."
A smile curved my lips and I looked at him adoringly as the car started moving again. "Oh Caleb..."
"Don't tell me that is cheesy because it's only true instead." He said before I could add anything else.
"It really is." I agreed, waiting for him to park his car before leaning into him for a soft kiss. I forced myself to rip myself away from him and got out of the car, genuinely curious about how this night was going to be.
Caleb handed his keys to the valet and then guided my to the elevator where we took it up to the roof access.
"Woah." I widened my eyes at the breathtaking view. The roof was decked out in rows and rows of food and booze, staff was walking around cleaning high top tables placed all around the exterior and a dance floor was busy in the the center of the roof, where a dj was playing songs off the top 40 list. The color scheme was gold and silver, with confetti on all the tables which could be cheesy but somehow wasn't.
"Yeah some people really know how to waste money huh?" He teased and I laughed.
"Right? This party probably cost more than I make in a year." I replied, though I didn't sound bitter about it. I made enough for myself, I didn't need more money.
"Do you want a drink?" He asked and I smiled and nodded when he grabbed two off of a long gold table.
"Caleb!" A tall man came up to Caleb.
"Luke." He shook his hand and he turned it into a hug, the man had clearly had a few drinks already. I took my time to study him, he was about the same age as Caleb but that's where all the similarities stopped. Caleb was taller, more handsome, and even enough you could easily see both the guys were loaded, Caleb was more subtle about his status.
"Glad you could make it! And supply the champange." He winked at Caleb.
"Thanks for your business." He chuckled.
"Who's the pretty girl?" The Luke guy wiggled his brows and I laughed, finding myself liking this guy immediately.
"This is my girlfriend Tara." He smiled at me and I widened my eyes because it was the first time either of us had ever said that out loud, especialy to another person.
"See this is why I need to get into the wine business." Luke leaned over and kissed the top of my hand. "If you ever get sick of his movie star good looks and fairy tale charm please give me a call. I might not be as good looking, but I have much more money." He winked.
I laughed again. "I'll keep that in mind if I'm looking to switch to gold digging."
Caleb laughed with Luke and then he saw someone behind me. "Good to see you man. Enjoy the party."
"He's silly." I sighed, smiling, meaning that in the best way.
"He has millions of dollars and no responsibilities. He's usually silly." Caleb admitted, holding me tighter against him.
I kept smiling like an idiot. "You said I was your girlfriend." I replied, sipping my champange.
"You are." He replied, it being that simple to him even though it was a little more complicated in the long run. But tonight? We were just a couple at a party.
"I know but I think I never heard you say that you loud." I reasoned freely, like I was used to with Caleb. He wasn't just my boyfriend, but my friend too, and I felt like I could tell him almost everything. "Not to other people at least."
"And how it is?" He asked, a ghost of amusement in his tone.
I pressed a soft kiss on his lips as I smiled. "Amazing." I replied simply before pulling back and glancing at the food because I was curious if there was something that could be interesting or inspiring for my bakery.
"Are you hungry?" He asked quietly, giving me that caring look that filled my heart.
I shook my head, "Not yet. But I wouldn't mind another drink." I grinned at him.
He grinned back at me and grabbed my empty glass to replace it with a full one a moment later before setting his hand on the small of my back and leading me to a corner of the terrace that was more private and had an amazing view too. "Do you like here?" He asked after a moment of silence.
"I love it." I replied honestly and let out a sigh, allowing myself to relax for the first time in forever.
"What was that sigh for?!" He questioned, raising a brow.
"I was thinking about the new year." I answered before taking a sip of my champagne.
He nodded and reached for my hand, playing with my fingers as he sat on a stool, "What about it?"
I stood between his legs, feeling as if I belonged to him, as if anyone who'd land eyes on us would understand that immediately. "Aren't we supposed to have resolutions or something?" I asked a little playfully because it sounded silly now that it was out of my mouth.
He let out a chuckle before drinking some of his own champagne. "I guess...I don't know, are we?" He asked back and I just shrugged. "Okay, you first."
"Isn't it weird that most of my resolutions are about you?" I made a face because I didn't want to sound obsessed while I was. Just a little.
"Nothing wrong with that." He shot me a cocky grin.
"Oh well." I rolled my eyes, blushing a little because I felt that it wasn't completely normal. I didn't care though. "My biggest resolution is to tell people about us. And I'm not talking about random people like tonight, but my family, my friends..." I trailed off.
"I never met your friends." He pointed out. "I don't even know when you find time for them since you're mostly either working or with me."
"That was just because of the Christmas holidays and the little time I had left from work I wanted to spend it with you." I answered, feeling a little guilty because he was right. "But my friends know about you and they can't wait to meet you." I added softly.
"I'd love to meet your friends." Caleb said seriously. "And your family."
I smiled, feeling all warm but I couldn't even say anything back to hin because someone else called Caleb's name.
"Caleb Mara!"
"More friends?" I asked.
He smiled. "This one is better than the last guy."
"He wasn't so bad....speaking of friends." I kept smiling and sipped my champagne, studying Caleb's world.
"Hey Parker." He smiled as he shook the slightly shorter man's hand. "Tara this is Parker Trenton, he runs Trenton airlines. But I knew him back before when he was waiting tables in college."
I widened my eyes again. "Wow. You don't look old enough for that." I smiled and he grinned a killer smile. Impressive.
"I'll take that as a compliment." He winked.
"This is my girlfriend Tara." Caleb introduced me, not hiding the pride in his voice.
Parker widened his eyes. "Wow. You look too pretty to date this guy." He replied, recovering quickly. "What are you even doing in the city Mara? Isn't it past your bedtime?"
"Ha." Caleb smirked. "It's good to see you man how have you been?"
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm okay. Business is going well. Had some family drama recently. My sisters were in a car accident."
"Oh my god are they okay?" I asked, widening my eyes and feeling genuinely emotional for a man I'd just met. But that was how I was.
He nodded. "They are now. Lila was touch and go for a few days but she's in recovery and Colbie-"
"Wait. Lila Trenton?" I interrupted.
Parker stopped and nodded. "Do you know her?" He blinked at me while I tried to do the math.
"Is she by any chance dating Travis Cole?" I asked slowly, starting to feel both surprised because we lived in a way too small world and worried because if it was so Lila had been in an accident.
He blinked again.
"Wait are you talking about your cousin?" Caleb asked, cutting into the conversation.
"That's Lila. You know her?"
"Travis is my cousin." I said, holding my breath.
Parker narrowed his eyes. "Small world." He said softly.
"I met Travis and Lila." Caleb told him. "I had no idea she was your sister."
"Oh his god Trav must be a wreck." I commented as I thought about him and Lila and Colbie and Jax.
Parker licked his lips. "He didn't leave her side the entire time." He admitted. "Not gonna lie he wouldn't be my first choice for my baby sister, but he did good by her. He obviously loves her very much."
"We should visit them soon." I said, my eyes full of worry.
"She's okay, but I'm sure she would love to see a familiar face. She's still healing and she's going a little stir crazy."
"We can plan a trip next weekend if you wanted." Caleb told me softly.
"I'll call him tomorrow. My god you're right what a small world. What happened?" I asked Parker.
"Drunk driver." Parker said darkly, his voice clearly pissed as he shook his head and cursed under his breath. "Sorry to be such a buzzkill guys this is suppossed to be a party." He replied.
"No it's fine I'm glad we found out." I replied with a smile.
"But you should be having fun. I'm pretty sure this is the first party he's ever been to." He thumbed over to Caleb, smirking.
"Ha." My man shook his head.
"See? He's so stuffed up for a man who makes booze for a living. Do him a favor and get him drunk, maybe take advantage of him." Parker winked and I laughed.
"I'll see what I can do."
"Good to see you man, you owe me a tie breaker on that basketball game from a few years back." Parker grinned.
"I'll hold you to that."
I watched this Parker guy walk away from us, he was kind of hot but not even remotely close to Caleb. "He was nice." I commented quietly, finding myself happy to get to know some of Caleb's friends, even if they were far ones or just guys he worked with. It allowed me to see a part of his life I had never seen and to find out things I didn't know. Like, Caleb didn't party much. I wasn't surprised though.
"I had no idea he was Lila's brother." He said back and pressed a soft kiss on my shoulder, leaning his chin against it a moment later when he pressed my back against his chest.
"You know, Lila was the first and only one who told me you looked at me differently." I said softly, smiling at the memory but also feeling sad for her and Trav. They had helped me so much after I had broken up with John.
"Tara." Caleb's low voice brought me back to reality as he turned me into his arms, his hand pushing my hair back gently. "What are you thinking about?"
"I hope Lila's fine. I hope Trav is fine too..." I trailed off, biting down on my lip.
"You heard Parker, they're okay. You'll call them tomorrow." He said in a voice that was so sweet and soothing and just full of emotion. I just stared at him through my lashes, nodding and still torturing my bottom lip. I wondered what really happened to Lila, if she was injured, if she was suffering. "Do you want to call them now?" He suggested, reading me perfectly and surprising me.
"Yeah. I just want to say hi and hear their voice." I said him back, grabbing my phone from my purse and leaning against my boyfriend while dialing Travis number. I felt so safe with him, protected too. "Hey Trav, it's me." I said as soon as my cousin picked the call.
"I know it's you Tara." He replied with a hint of a grin in his tone even if he was whispering too.
"I just met one of Lila's brothers, long story, he told me about the accident...is she okay?" I asked, fidgeting with the collar of Caleb's shirt.
"She's fine, thank god. Scared me to death but yeah, she's good now. She needs some rest and meds, nothing too bad." He explained, sounding exhausted.
"Okay good." I nodded and smiled at Caleb who was looking at me adoringly. "Caleb and I want to come visit this weekend if it's okay for you."
"Caleb, uh?" He let out a small laugh, "Damn that girl is always right." He muttered under his breath. "You can come anytime you want, you're always welcome."
"Perfect. And I'll tell you everything." I grinned, genuinely excited to share the good news with my closest cousin. "Now go back to whatever I interrupted and tell Lila I said hi."
"Oh yeah, I'll tell her...as soon as she wakes up." He said in an amused tone. That explained the whispering.
I chuckled. "Oh well. Happy new year."
"See you soon cutie." He chuckled with me before we hung up.
Caleb looked at me, smiling. "Better now?" He asked.
I nodded and ran my hands up his chest before kissing him softly. "Definitely. You knew I needed that." I felt myself blush but I tried to recover. "I'm getting hungry."
"Let's get you something to eat." Caleb set his hand on the small of my back, nodding and shaking hands with people he knew, introducing me to each one.
"For someone who doesn't party you sure know a lot of people." I joked as he finally sat me down at a high top table with a plate full of fancy appetizers.
"I meet a lot of people through my work." He explained with a shrug.
I smiled. "You're impossible not to like too."
He smirked and ran his hand through his hair. "As long as you like me that's all I need." He winked at me.
I rolled my eyes even though I felt myself blushing. "You're also quite the romantic even though you hate relationships."
"I don't hate relationships." He replied. "I've just never been in a good one."
"Never?" I blinked.
"Well not until now." He reached out and squeezed my hand.
"Good save." I took a bite of my food and moaned. "Oh my god that's so good!"
"I'm sure you could make it too."
"Maybe." I smirked. "Okay so you didn't have a good relationship with your ex wife. But what about before her?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you know about the men I dated seriously. What about you?" I asked, feeling confident enough to have this conversation.
He blinked. "You don't even like me talking to my ex-wife and now you want to know about all the other women I've been with?"
"No!" I made a face. "God no. But one failed marriage can't make you the way you were..."
"I had a girlfriend on and off in high school and one in college."
"But?" I pushed.
He shrugged. "Michele went to school in New York City and I never saw her again. But in high school we really were only together because our friends were together and it just made sense to date."
"You dated a girl all through high school so you wouldn't be a third wheel?" I just blinked at him. That was insanity.
"I mean we were attracted to each other, but I don't think we would have dated if we weren't always together."
"That's sad." I said bluntly while I thought about my relationships in high school and college, all of them trashed by Andy.
He laughed. "I was young." He took a bite of a mini quiche and swallowed. "Grace I met in college and I asked her out the day I met her. But we were both so busy with school and family to really get to know each other....do you want more info?" He smirked.
I pursed my lips together as I tried to process his words. But no matter how much I thought about it, it still made no sense to me. "I'm not sure." I answered honestly, wrinkling my nose.
"I don't want to ruin tonight..." He trailed off, a frown on his handsome face.
"You won't." I reassured him, cupping his cheek and kissing him briefly. I knew that talking about ex's could potentially do that but I had enough faith in us, as adults who talked about everything. Also, my curiosity was killing me. "Tell me more."
He shrugged nonchalantly, bringing his glass to his lips once again. "Ask me more."
"I'm trying to understand why you never had a good relationship with any girl..." I trailed off and bought some time as I brought more food to my mouth.
"Why does it matter?" He asked, raising one eyebrow at me.
It was my time to shrug this time. "Maybe it doesn't. Or maybe it will help us not to make the same mistakes." I answered softly, even adding a small smile.
He scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I already know we won't. We might make other mistakes though." He teased me eventually and I didn't like it even a bit. I hated mistakes.
"Why did you marry your ex wife again?" I asked him as I ignored him completely this time.
"Because we were dating and it seemed like the right thing to do." He said back candidly and that was when I did the math. I didn't know much but what I knew was enough to notice a similar path.
I nodded my head slowly, almost groaning at the thought of Selene the skanky stripper waiting for my Caleb in his office. "I came to a conclusion." I announced eventually, making him shot me a questioning look. "The girls you met before me were just meh." I said to make the moment lighter. And it worked.
His laugh boomed into the air, genuine amusement on his happy face. My heart swelled. "Probably." He agreed, still smiling wide as he reached for my hand to keep it in his.
"Also, it sounds like you did everything just because you have to. As if you knew it was supposed to happen so you made it happen..." I trailed off once again and once again I got lost into my thoughts. "When you told me about those three girls I never felt the passion in your story."
"Would you like me to get all worked up for them?" He asked slowly, looking confused.
"God no." I scrunched my nose. "Not for them, but maybe for the memory of something that had been there." I paused once more, wondering if I was making any sense. "I think that the kind of love that can lead you to get married is supposed to be burning, consuming...intense. So intense you know there's no way you can't live without it." I finished and I had no idea of how I ended up talking like this of a topic which was kind of touchy.
Caleb nodded and then licked his lips. "Ask me to tell you about my girlfriend now." He replied.
I grinned and leaned closer. "I'm a little worried, all the other girls have been so blah. How could this girlfriend be better?"
"Because the moment I saw her I wanted to tie her to my bed and never let her out. But not just that, I wanted to KNOW her. I wanted to know what made her happy, or sad. I wanted to see inside her head because when I saw her she was sitting at a bar thinking so hard I desperately wanted to know what was in her head. And when I finally got to know her? I realized she was even more incredible than just her perfect face and body." He sipped his drink. "Though you should see her body." He let out a low whistle and I grinned.
"Sounds like passion to me." I commented timidly, lost into his eyes and his way with words.
"It can get a little intense." He agreed.
I bit down on my lower lip. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I leaned closer.
He reached out to brush the hair out of my eyes. "It's different for me. But I like it." He nodded towards my plate. "Eat. I want to dance with you."
"You do?"
"I love dancing with you." He replied, "Because you love to dance."
I smiled wide at him, a little touched by his words even though it was kid of silly. "Let's go then." I said softly, my voice giving me away.
"Eat first." He instructed me softly as a smile played on his lips.
I popped a mini something into my mouth and shrugged, playing innocent. "Done." I announced as I let a grin widen on my face.
He rewarded me with a laugh but eventually led me to the dancefloor where the music was still kind of slow and relaxing. Just perfect. I felt as if I was living in a movie. "You'll need to eat more later." He said softly but still amused by my behaviour as he set his hands on my hips, guiding me to his body.
I wrapped my arms around his neck losely, "Later." I agreed then pressed a kiss on his lips before resting my cheek on his shoulder and letting him lead through the music. And that was actually unbelievable. "I always wished I had someone to dance with. I'm so glad you're a natural." I added as a second though.
A laugh made his chest vibrate against me then he pulled his head back to look down at me when I turned. "I'm not a natural." He pointed out with a big grin on his lips and I swore I saw a little embarrassment too.
"Yes you are." I said back stubbornly, moving with him, "You don't realize it but whenever we go to our tango lessons? You get better and better, I'm sure at some point you'll get even better than me."
"Not happening." He shook his head, his grin still in place as his hands slid down my back but he kept it classy.
I stared into his gorgeous eyes, my fingers caressing his nape absintmindedly, "But I love it. I do really love it and I can't help feeling like you really are what I've always wanted."
Caleb widened his eyes, looking a little panicked for a moment or two. "I hope I can be." He replied, his thoughts crowding his face in a way that was too evident not to notice. I just hoped I didn't fuck up our night.
"Caleb." I touched his face. "You're thinking something bad."
He swallowed. "I'm not." He shook his head. "I'm just worried you're over rating me." He tugged my body closer to his, holding the small of my back and feeling the length of my frame pressed against his.
"I wouldn't worry about that." I smiled, wishing he was more confident than that.
He pushed back my hair. "You want a romance novel Tara. You want happily ever after with kids and a white picket fence and I'm just now deciding I want more than a one night stand. I'm afraid the middle we can agree to meet at its too far away from what you want.
"You don't want kids someday? He thought you did." I tried to say, refusing to be scared by his words and by how right he was.
He blinked, but recovered quickly. "I do." He agreed. "My mother always told me I'd have boys just like me and my brother. Payback for being such a handful when we were kids."
I chuckled. "That's a nice thought."
He blinked again. "You make me say things I haven't said to anyone." He admitted, voicing his thoughts instead of keeping them in his head like he always did with everyone else, even with me sometimes.
"I like that." I replied, and then reached up to press my lips against his. "And I don't want a romance novel. Unless you have secret plans to carry me to your bed and tie me there." I smirked and the wicked glint in my eye he only ever saw me have with him was back, making him grin.
"I do have those plans." He nodded.
"Hmm...then maybe I do want it. But only the naked parts." I tried to make him distract from the usual fairy tale and focus on an alternative one, he chuckled again. "I'm picturing our book cover. You'll need something to make your chest glisten."
This time he bust out laughing, causing several of the other couples dancing to look his way. "As much as I love it this dress is far too conservative for a book cover."
"Do you spend a lot of time looking at the covers of romance novels?"
He shook his head. "Not nearly as much as I should I suspect." He admitted. "But this dress says "I'm classy and way out of your league", not "ravish me glistening man."
I was starting to laugh too and he pulled me closer before spinning me out, watching my long legs move gracefully as he led me even while I was laughing.
As I spun my way back to him, I let my hand land on his hard chest, still grinning like an idiot. A very happy one. "My head is spinning."
He frowned immediately, stopping dancing and holding me tight to him. "You need to eat more, I told you." He said seriously.
I shook my head as I bit down on my lip. "Nope. I think it's because of too much romance." I barely made it to the end of the sentence without laughing.
He rolled his eyes but then joined me and he laughed too. "You're being silly." He said and kissed my nose.
I shrugged, letting him lead me away from the dance floor. "As long as you like it."
He smiled at me, a wide smile that reached his beautiful eyes. "You have no idea."
I smiled back at him, realization hit me hard. I loved him. "I think I do instead."
Caleb pulled me closer, keeping quiet for a long moment and I wondered what he was thinking. I hoped it was good. “Do you want more food?” He asked and I shrugged.
“Maybe eventually. I saw cupcakes on one of the tables.” I said back, knowing I need something sugary.
He smirked. “I’m sure yours are better.”
“Maybe but I love getting ideas from the different places I go.”
He shook his head, and ran his hand up and down my back. “That’s smart.”
“Why did you just shake your head?” I asked instead.
He shrugged. “Nothing its just..that’s what I do. When Mara goes to wine festivals I always make sure to buy the other most popular bottles from other places, see what they do differently, what they do the same, what the label looks like, the booth. Even when I’m at a restaurant I do the same.”
“Because you’re smart like me.” I smiled.
“I like that we think similarly…but are still different.”
I nodded, a little amused with him. “Makes us a good fit.” I replied.
“If you had met me first….” He trailed off, “I wonder if we’d even have the problem we have now.”
“Are you saying you’re better than John?” I teased, though I was wondering if that’s really what he meant.
“I think I’m better for you than John.” He stated.
I sighed and nodded. “He was good to me in the beginning.” I shrugged.
“Are you afraid I’ll be the same way?” He asked. "That eventually I’ll take you for granted?”
I furrowed my brows, a little taken aback by his words. I knew Caleb and I knew he cared about me, but he wasn't big on sharing his feelings, sometimes even his thoughts. It was part of how he was though and I wouldn't change it. "Is that what you're afraid of?" I asked quietly, not accusing him of anything, I just wanted to know.
He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes darting away from mine a moment. That was a yes. "I just wish you met me first, we wouldn't have this to worry about." He said eventually.
I cupped his face in my hands, staring deep into his gorgeous eyes. I was tempted to tell him that I was sure about us, about our future, at the same time I was too afraid he'd get scared by my words and say I expected too much from him. I had to thread carefully here. "I don't think you'll take me for granted, ever. And I don't want you to make comparison with John either because you two are very little alike."
"But you said he was good to you at the beginning." He retorted as he kept his hands on my hips, gripping them tightly. His voice was quiet, almost soft, and I almost had the feeling I was seeing a side of Caleb I rarely saw if ever...he seemed vulnerable.
"That's true." I agreed, collecting my thoughts, "But Caleb, you have something that he never had and never will. He didn't notice when I was upset or when something was off, he didn't even wonder why there were days when we barely talked. You notice everything, as if you feel it, you're very...sensitive."
"That makes me sound like a pussy." He made a face.
I couldn't help but laugh. "I meant it as you sense things. You know them even if I don't say anything and that's really important for me. Not just that, when I was with John we loved each other but he didn't put any effort in our relationship, now I know that love isn't enough, you have to work hard to make a relationship last."
He blinked at me and I regretted using the l word immediately. I was talking in general, wasn't I?! "Do you think I can do that?" He asked eventually.
"I know you don't realize it because you're too hard on yourself, but you're already doing it. I don't even have to ask because you do everything right and it comes naturally to you." I explained, meaning every single word. How couldn't he see that? Was he that insecure? I still blamed it all on that stripper of his ex wife.
"I'm..." He trailed off to buy himself a few seconds. "Confused." He finished.
I kissed his lips softly then smiled. "Don't. We don't need to find all the answers tonight, we'll take one step at time. We have a whole new year to figure them out." I told him, trying to be sure for the both of us even if it hurt me a little, to know he had doubts and insecurities.
With a perfect timing, we heard people shouting the countdown to midnight. We hadn't even noticed time had passed so fast. We blinked towards them then looked into each other's eyes, our smiles matching just when the fireworks went off. "Happy new year baby." He whispered before his lips captured mine and in that moment I knew I was starting the new year with the right man.
"What?" I asked, looking at him with wide eyes as I noticed he kept stealing glances of me.
"You look incredible tonight. That dress is something." He commented, his expression giving away the kind of thoughts he was having.
"You've seen me in less." I laughed, my hand smoothing the black dress I was wearing that was kind of conservative but showed my legs and my curves.
"That's the point. Everyone else at the party will only get a hint of how perfect you are. Only I'll be the one who knows what you look like without it." He winked and I laughed again.
"If you're just going to picture me naked then everything I wear will be good." I replied as I bit down on my lip.
"That's a good point." He commented, passing the car in front of him that was intent on going 10 under the speed limit.
"I'm full of them."
"Still won't stop me from picturing that skirt pushed up around your hips and whatever you're wearing underneath it ruined." He replied, smirking as he heard my breath catch.
"Mmm. Maybe that's why I wore it." I wiggled in my seat, getting impatient all of a sudden. I wanted to glue myself against this handsome and ridiculously sexy man sitting next to me.
He grinned wider before grabbing my hand and squeezing it. "If so? Mission accomplished."
"If you start talking to me like that now though it's going to be a long party." I smirked, meaning it too.
"Good point." He laughed. "Are you excited?"
I nodded, "Doesn't it show?" I asked, genuinely curious about how much I was giving away.
"I don't know you look kind of...I don't know, nervous too?" He said slowly.
This time I shook my head. "No I'm happy to start the new year with you instead." I smiled, keeping my eyes on him. "I don't know anyone though." I added as a second thought.
"You know me and that's enough." He shot me a wide smirk before moving his eyes back on the road.
I chuckled, because that was both silly and true. "Right, as long as you don't leave me alone to talk with someone else I'll be fine."
"Who should I talk to?" He asked back and raised one eyebrow.
"Don't you know anyone either? Are we even invited at this party?" I teased him. I didn't know much about tonight though, except for it was a party.
He laughed, the sound alone filling his car and my heart too. "One of the guys who invests in my winery invited me." He explained.
I furrowed my brows, trying to fill the dots. "So is this some kind of business party too?"
"No it's not." He answered, vaguely amused only God knew why.
"Why did you invite me?" I asked a moment later. We had been so busy during the so called Christmas holidays that when we had had the chance to be together I hadn't even asked him anything. I didn't care much to be honest, as long as we were together.
He stopped at the red lights and gave me a long look. "What kind of question is that?" He asked back and I just shrugged. "I had to go anyway and being with you is always better than not being with you."
A smile curved my lips and I looked at him adoringly as the car started moving again. "Oh Caleb..."
"Don't tell me that is cheesy because it's only true instead." He said before I could add anything else.
"It really is." I agreed, waiting for him to park his car before leaning into him for a soft kiss. I forced myself to rip myself away from him and got out of the car, genuinely curious about how this night was going to be.
Caleb handed his keys to the valet and then guided my to the elevator where we took it up to the roof access.
"Woah." I widened my eyes at the breathtaking view. The roof was decked out in rows and rows of food and booze, staff was walking around cleaning high top tables placed all around the exterior and a dance floor was busy in the the center of the roof, where a dj was playing songs off the top 40 list. The color scheme was gold and silver, with confetti on all the tables which could be cheesy but somehow wasn't.
"Yeah some people really know how to waste money huh?" He teased and I laughed.
"Right? This party probably cost more than I make in a year." I replied, though I didn't sound bitter about it. I made enough for myself, I didn't need more money.
"Do you want a drink?" He asked and I smiled and nodded when he grabbed two off of a long gold table.
"Caleb!" A tall man came up to Caleb.
"Luke." He shook his hand and he turned it into a hug, the man had clearly had a few drinks already. I took my time to study him, he was about the same age as Caleb but that's where all the similarities stopped. Caleb was taller, more handsome, and even enough you could easily see both the guys were loaded, Caleb was more subtle about his status.
"Glad you could make it! And supply the champange." He winked at Caleb.
"Thanks for your business." He chuckled.
"Who's the pretty girl?" The Luke guy wiggled his brows and I laughed, finding myself liking this guy immediately.
"This is my girlfriend Tara." He smiled at me and I widened my eyes because it was the first time either of us had ever said that out loud, especialy to another person.
"See this is why I need to get into the wine business." Luke leaned over and kissed the top of my hand. "If you ever get sick of his movie star good looks and fairy tale charm please give me a call. I might not be as good looking, but I have much more money." He winked.
I laughed again. "I'll keep that in mind if I'm looking to switch to gold digging."
Caleb laughed with Luke and then he saw someone behind me. "Good to see you man. Enjoy the party."
"He's silly." I sighed, smiling, meaning that in the best way.
"He has millions of dollars and no responsibilities. He's usually silly." Caleb admitted, holding me tighter against him.
I kept smiling like an idiot. "You said I was your girlfriend." I replied, sipping my champange.
"You are." He replied, it being that simple to him even though it was a little more complicated in the long run. But tonight? We were just a couple at a party.
"I know but I think I never heard you say that you loud." I reasoned freely, like I was used to with Caleb. He wasn't just my boyfriend, but my friend too, and I felt like I could tell him almost everything. "Not to other people at least."
"And how it is?" He asked, a ghost of amusement in his tone.
I pressed a soft kiss on his lips as I smiled. "Amazing." I replied simply before pulling back and glancing at the food because I was curious if there was something that could be interesting or inspiring for my bakery.
"Are you hungry?" He asked quietly, giving me that caring look that filled my heart.
I shook my head, "Not yet. But I wouldn't mind another drink." I grinned at him.
He grinned back at me and grabbed my empty glass to replace it with a full one a moment later before setting his hand on the small of my back and leading me to a corner of the terrace that was more private and had an amazing view too. "Do you like here?" He asked after a moment of silence.
"I love it." I replied honestly and let out a sigh, allowing myself to relax for the first time in forever.
"What was that sigh for?!" He questioned, raising a brow.
"I was thinking about the new year." I answered before taking a sip of my champagne.
He nodded and reached for my hand, playing with my fingers as he sat on a stool, "What about it?"
I stood between his legs, feeling as if I belonged to him, as if anyone who'd land eyes on us would understand that immediately. "Aren't we supposed to have resolutions or something?" I asked a little playfully because it sounded silly now that it was out of my mouth.
He let out a chuckle before drinking some of his own champagne. "I guess...I don't know, are we?" He asked back and I just shrugged. "Okay, you first."
"Isn't it weird that most of my resolutions are about you?" I made a face because I didn't want to sound obsessed while I was. Just a little.
"Nothing wrong with that." He shot me a cocky grin.
"Oh well." I rolled my eyes, blushing a little because I felt that it wasn't completely normal. I didn't care though. "My biggest resolution is to tell people about us. And I'm not talking about random people like tonight, but my family, my friends..." I trailed off.
"I never met your friends." He pointed out. "I don't even know when you find time for them since you're mostly either working or with me."
"That was just because of the Christmas holidays and the little time I had left from work I wanted to spend it with you." I answered, feeling a little guilty because he was right. "But my friends know about you and they can't wait to meet you." I added softly.
"I'd love to meet your friends." Caleb said seriously. "And your family."
I smiled, feeling all warm but I couldn't even say anything back to hin because someone else called Caleb's name.
"Caleb Mara!"
"More friends?" I asked.
He smiled. "This one is better than the last guy."
"He wasn't so bad....speaking of friends." I kept smiling and sipped my champagne, studying Caleb's world.
"Hey Parker." He smiled as he shook the slightly shorter man's hand. "Tara this is Parker Trenton, he runs Trenton airlines. But I knew him back before when he was waiting tables in college."
I widened my eyes again. "Wow. You don't look old enough for that." I smiled and he grinned a killer smile. Impressive.
"I'll take that as a compliment." He winked.
"This is my girlfriend Tara." Caleb introduced me, not hiding the pride in his voice.
Parker widened his eyes. "Wow. You look too pretty to date this guy." He replied, recovering quickly. "What are you even doing in the city Mara? Isn't it past your bedtime?"
"Ha." Caleb smirked. "It's good to see you man how have you been?"
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm okay. Business is going well. Had some family drama recently. My sisters were in a car accident."
"Oh my god are they okay?" I asked, widening my eyes and feeling genuinely emotional for a man I'd just met. But that was how I was.
He nodded. "They are now. Lila was touch and go for a few days but she's in recovery and Colbie-"
"Wait. Lila Trenton?" I interrupted.
Parker stopped and nodded. "Do you know her?" He blinked at me while I tried to do the math.
"Is she by any chance dating Travis Cole?" I asked slowly, starting to feel both surprised because we lived in a way too small world and worried because if it was so Lila had been in an accident.
He blinked again.
"Wait are you talking about your cousin?" Caleb asked, cutting into the conversation.
"That's Lila. You know her?"
"Travis is my cousin." I said, holding my breath.
Parker narrowed his eyes. "Small world." He said softly.
"I met Travis and Lila." Caleb told him. "I had no idea she was your sister."
"Oh his god Trav must be a wreck." I commented as I thought about him and Lila and Colbie and Jax.
Parker licked his lips. "He didn't leave her side the entire time." He admitted. "Not gonna lie he wouldn't be my first choice for my baby sister, but he did good by her. He obviously loves her very much."
"We should visit them soon." I said, my eyes full of worry.
"She's okay, but I'm sure she would love to see a familiar face. She's still healing and she's going a little stir crazy."
"We can plan a trip next weekend if you wanted." Caleb told me softly.
"I'll call him tomorrow. My god you're right what a small world. What happened?" I asked Parker.
"Drunk driver." Parker said darkly, his voice clearly pissed as he shook his head and cursed under his breath. "Sorry to be such a buzzkill guys this is suppossed to be a party." He replied.
"No it's fine I'm glad we found out." I replied with a smile.
"But you should be having fun. I'm pretty sure this is the first party he's ever been to." He thumbed over to Caleb, smirking.
"Ha." My man shook his head.
"See? He's so stuffed up for a man who makes booze for a living. Do him a favor and get him drunk, maybe take advantage of him." Parker winked and I laughed.
"I'll see what I can do."
"Good to see you man, you owe me a tie breaker on that basketball game from a few years back." Parker grinned.
"I'll hold you to that."
I watched this Parker guy walk away from us, he was kind of hot but not even remotely close to Caleb. "He was nice." I commented quietly, finding myself happy to get to know some of Caleb's friends, even if they were far ones or just guys he worked with. It allowed me to see a part of his life I had never seen and to find out things I didn't know. Like, Caleb didn't party much. I wasn't surprised though.
"I had no idea he was Lila's brother." He said back and pressed a soft kiss on my shoulder, leaning his chin against it a moment later when he pressed my back against his chest.
"You know, Lila was the first and only one who told me you looked at me differently." I said softly, smiling at the memory but also feeling sad for her and Trav. They had helped me so much after I had broken up with John.
"Tara." Caleb's low voice brought me back to reality as he turned me into his arms, his hand pushing my hair back gently. "What are you thinking about?"
"I hope Lila's fine. I hope Trav is fine too..." I trailed off, biting down on my lip.
"You heard Parker, they're okay. You'll call them tomorrow." He said in a voice that was so sweet and soothing and just full of emotion. I just stared at him through my lashes, nodding and still torturing my bottom lip. I wondered what really happened to Lila, if she was injured, if she was suffering. "Do you want to call them now?" He suggested, reading me perfectly and surprising me.
"Yeah. I just want to say hi and hear their voice." I said him back, grabbing my phone from my purse and leaning against my boyfriend while dialing Travis number. I felt so safe with him, protected too. "Hey Trav, it's me." I said as soon as my cousin picked the call.
"I know it's you Tara." He replied with a hint of a grin in his tone even if he was whispering too.
"I just met one of Lila's brothers, long story, he told me about the accident...is she okay?" I asked, fidgeting with the collar of Caleb's shirt.
"She's fine, thank god. Scared me to death but yeah, she's good now. She needs some rest and meds, nothing too bad." He explained, sounding exhausted.
"Okay good." I nodded and smiled at Caleb who was looking at me adoringly. "Caleb and I want to come visit this weekend if it's okay for you."
"Caleb, uh?" He let out a small laugh, "Damn that girl is always right." He muttered under his breath. "You can come anytime you want, you're always welcome."
"Perfect. And I'll tell you everything." I grinned, genuinely excited to share the good news with my closest cousin. "Now go back to whatever I interrupted and tell Lila I said hi."
"Oh yeah, I'll tell her...as soon as she wakes up." He said in an amused tone. That explained the whispering.
I chuckled. "Oh well. Happy new year."
"See you soon cutie." He chuckled with me before we hung up.
Caleb looked at me, smiling. "Better now?" He asked.
I nodded and ran my hands up his chest before kissing him softly. "Definitely. You knew I needed that." I felt myself blush but I tried to recover. "I'm getting hungry."
"Let's get you something to eat." Caleb set his hand on the small of my back, nodding and shaking hands with people he knew, introducing me to each one.
"For someone who doesn't party you sure know a lot of people." I joked as he finally sat me down at a high top table with a plate full of fancy appetizers.
"I meet a lot of people through my work." He explained with a shrug.
I smiled. "You're impossible not to like too."
He smirked and ran his hand through his hair. "As long as you like me that's all I need." He winked at me.
I rolled my eyes even though I felt myself blushing. "You're also quite the romantic even though you hate relationships."
"I don't hate relationships." He replied. "I've just never been in a good one."
"Never?" I blinked.
"Well not until now." He reached out and squeezed my hand.
"Good save." I took a bite of my food and moaned. "Oh my god that's so good!"
"I'm sure you could make it too."
"Maybe." I smirked. "Okay so you didn't have a good relationship with your ex wife. But what about before her?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you know about the men I dated seriously. What about you?" I asked, feeling confident enough to have this conversation.
He blinked. "You don't even like me talking to my ex-wife and now you want to know about all the other women I've been with?"
"No!" I made a face. "God no. But one failed marriage can't make you the way you were..."
"I had a girlfriend on and off in high school and one in college."
"But?" I pushed.
He shrugged. "Michele went to school in New York City and I never saw her again. But in high school we really were only together because our friends were together and it just made sense to date."
"You dated a girl all through high school so you wouldn't be a third wheel?" I just blinked at him. That was insanity.
"I mean we were attracted to each other, but I don't think we would have dated if we weren't always together."
"That's sad." I said bluntly while I thought about my relationships in high school and college, all of them trashed by Andy.
He laughed. "I was young." He took a bite of a mini quiche and swallowed. "Grace I met in college and I asked her out the day I met her. But we were both so busy with school and family to really get to know each other....do you want more info?" He smirked.
I pursed my lips together as I tried to process his words. But no matter how much I thought about it, it still made no sense to me. "I'm not sure." I answered honestly, wrinkling my nose.
"I don't want to ruin tonight..." He trailed off, a frown on his handsome face.
"You won't." I reassured him, cupping his cheek and kissing him briefly. I knew that talking about ex's could potentially do that but I had enough faith in us, as adults who talked about everything. Also, my curiosity was killing me. "Tell me more."
He shrugged nonchalantly, bringing his glass to his lips once again. "Ask me more."
"I'm trying to understand why you never had a good relationship with any girl..." I trailed off and bought some time as I brought more food to my mouth.
"Why does it matter?" He asked, raising one eyebrow at me.
It was my time to shrug this time. "Maybe it doesn't. Or maybe it will help us not to make the same mistakes." I answered softly, even adding a small smile.
He scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I already know we won't. We might make other mistakes though." He teased me eventually and I didn't like it even a bit. I hated mistakes.
"Why did you marry your ex wife again?" I asked him as I ignored him completely this time.
"Because we were dating and it seemed like the right thing to do." He said back candidly and that was when I did the math. I didn't know much but what I knew was enough to notice a similar path.
I nodded my head slowly, almost groaning at the thought of Selene the skanky stripper waiting for my Caleb in his office. "I came to a conclusion." I announced eventually, making him shot me a questioning look. "The girls you met before me were just meh." I said to make the moment lighter. And it worked.
His laugh boomed into the air, genuine amusement on his happy face. My heart swelled. "Probably." He agreed, still smiling wide as he reached for my hand to keep it in his.
"Also, it sounds like you did everything just because you have to. As if you knew it was supposed to happen so you made it happen..." I trailed off once again and once again I got lost into my thoughts. "When you told me about those three girls I never felt the passion in your story."
"Would you like me to get all worked up for them?" He asked slowly, looking confused.
"God no." I scrunched my nose. "Not for them, but maybe for the memory of something that had been there." I paused once more, wondering if I was making any sense. "I think that the kind of love that can lead you to get married is supposed to be burning, consuming...intense. So intense you know there's no way you can't live without it." I finished and I had no idea of how I ended up talking like this of a topic which was kind of touchy.
Caleb nodded and then licked his lips. "Ask me to tell you about my girlfriend now." He replied.
I grinned and leaned closer. "I'm a little worried, all the other girls have been so blah. How could this girlfriend be better?"
"Because the moment I saw her I wanted to tie her to my bed and never let her out. But not just that, I wanted to KNOW her. I wanted to know what made her happy, or sad. I wanted to see inside her head because when I saw her she was sitting at a bar thinking so hard I desperately wanted to know what was in her head. And when I finally got to know her? I realized she was even more incredible than just her perfect face and body." He sipped his drink. "Though you should see her body." He let out a low whistle and I grinned.
"Sounds like passion to me." I commented timidly, lost into his eyes and his way with words.
"It can get a little intense." He agreed.
I bit down on my lower lip. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I leaned closer.
He reached out to brush the hair out of my eyes. "It's different for me. But I like it." He nodded towards my plate. "Eat. I want to dance with you."
"You do?"
"I love dancing with you." He replied, "Because you love to dance."
I smiled wide at him, a little touched by his words even though it was kid of silly. "Let's go then." I said softly, my voice giving me away.
"Eat first." He instructed me softly as a smile played on his lips.
I popped a mini something into my mouth and shrugged, playing innocent. "Done." I announced as I let a grin widen on my face.
He rewarded me with a laugh but eventually led me to the dancefloor where the music was still kind of slow and relaxing. Just perfect. I felt as if I was living in a movie. "You'll need to eat more later." He said softly but still amused by my behaviour as he set his hands on my hips, guiding me to his body.
I wrapped my arms around his neck losely, "Later." I agreed then pressed a kiss on his lips before resting my cheek on his shoulder and letting him lead through the music. And that was actually unbelievable. "I always wished I had someone to dance with. I'm so glad you're a natural." I added as a second though.
A laugh made his chest vibrate against me then he pulled his head back to look down at me when I turned. "I'm not a natural." He pointed out with a big grin on his lips and I swore I saw a little embarrassment too.
"Yes you are." I said back stubbornly, moving with him, "You don't realize it but whenever we go to our tango lessons? You get better and better, I'm sure at some point you'll get even better than me."
"Not happening." He shook his head, his grin still in place as his hands slid down my back but he kept it classy.
I stared into his gorgeous eyes, my fingers caressing his nape absintmindedly, "But I love it. I do really love it and I can't help feeling like you really are what I've always wanted."
Caleb widened his eyes, looking a little panicked for a moment or two. "I hope I can be." He replied, his thoughts crowding his face in a way that was too evident not to notice. I just hoped I didn't fuck up our night.
"Caleb." I touched his face. "You're thinking something bad."
He swallowed. "I'm not." He shook his head. "I'm just worried you're over rating me." He tugged my body closer to his, holding the small of my back and feeling the length of my frame pressed against his.
"I wouldn't worry about that." I smiled, wishing he was more confident than that.
He pushed back my hair. "You want a romance novel Tara. You want happily ever after with kids and a white picket fence and I'm just now deciding I want more than a one night stand. I'm afraid the middle we can agree to meet at its too far away from what you want.
"You don't want kids someday? He thought you did." I tried to say, refusing to be scared by his words and by how right he was.
He blinked, but recovered quickly. "I do." He agreed. "My mother always told me I'd have boys just like me and my brother. Payback for being such a handful when we were kids."
I chuckled. "That's a nice thought."
He blinked again. "You make me say things I haven't said to anyone." He admitted, voicing his thoughts instead of keeping them in his head like he always did with everyone else, even with me sometimes.
"I like that." I replied, and then reached up to press my lips against his. "And I don't want a romance novel. Unless you have secret plans to carry me to your bed and tie me there." I smirked and the wicked glint in my eye he only ever saw me have with him was back, making him grin.
"I do have those plans." He nodded.
"Hmm...then maybe I do want it. But only the naked parts." I tried to make him distract from the usual fairy tale and focus on an alternative one, he chuckled again. "I'm picturing our book cover. You'll need something to make your chest glisten."
This time he bust out laughing, causing several of the other couples dancing to look his way. "As much as I love it this dress is far too conservative for a book cover."
"Do you spend a lot of time looking at the covers of romance novels?"
He shook his head. "Not nearly as much as I should I suspect." He admitted. "But this dress says "I'm classy and way out of your league", not "ravish me glistening man."
I was starting to laugh too and he pulled me closer before spinning me out, watching my long legs move gracefully as he led me even while I was laughing.
As I spun my way back to him, I let my hand land on his hard chest, still grinning like an idiot. A very happy one. "My head is spinning."
He frowned immediately, stopping dancing and holding me tight to him. "You need to eat more, I told you." He said seriously.
I shook my head as I bit down on my lip. "Nope. I think it's because of too much romance." I barely made it to the end of the sentence without laughing.
He rolled his eyes but then joined me and he laughed too. "You're being silly." He said and kissed my nose.
I shrugged, letting him lead me away from the dance floor. "As long as you like it."
He smiled at me, a wide smile that reached his beautiful eyes. "You have no idea."
I smiled back at him, realization hit me hard. I loved him. "I think I do instead."
Caleb pulled me closer, keeping quiet for a long moment and I wondered what he was thinking. I hoped it was good. “Do you want more food?” He asked and I shrugged.
“Maybe eventually. I saw cupcakes on one of the tables.” I said back, knowing I need something sugary.
He smirked. “I’m sure yours are better.”
“Maybe but I love getting ideas from the different places I go.”
He shook his head, and ran his hand up and down my back. “That’s smart.”
“Why did you just shake your head?” I asked instead.
He shrugged. “Nothing its just..that’s what I do. When Mara goes to wine festivals I always make sure to buy the other most popular bottles from other places, see what they do differently, what they do the same, what the label looks like, the booth. Even when I’m at a restaurant I do the same.”
“Because you’re smart like me.” I smiled.
“I like that we think similarly…but are still different.”
I nodded, a little amused with him. “Makes us a good fit.” I replied.
“If you had met me first….” He trailed off, “I wonder if we’d even have the problem we have now.”
“Are you saying you’re better than John?” I teased, though I was wondering if that’s really what he meant.
“I think I’m better for you than John.” He stated.
I sighed and nodded. “He was good to me in the beginning.” I shrugged.
“Are you afraid I’ll be the same way?” He asked. "That eventually I’ll take you for granted?”
I furrowed my brows, a little taken aback by his words. I knew Caleb and I knew he cared about me, but he wasn't big on sharing his feelings, sometimes even his thoughts. It was part of how he was though and I wouldn't change it. "Is that what you're afraid of?" I asked quietly, not accusing him of anything, I just wanted to know.
He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes darting away from mine a moment. That was a yes. "I just wish you met me first, we wouldn't have this to worry about." He said eventually.
I cupped his face in my hands, staring deep into his gorgeous eyes. I was tempted to tell him that I was sure about us, about our future, at the same time I was too afraid he'd get scared by my words and say I expected too much from him. I had to thread carefully here. "I don't think you'll take me for granted, ever. And I don't want you to make comparison with John either because you two are very little alike."
"But you said he was good to you at the beginning." He retorted as he kept his hands on my hips, gripping them tightly. His voice was quiet, almost soft, and I almost had the feeling I was seeing a side of Caleb I rarely saw if ever...he seemed vulnerable.
"That's true." I agreed, collecting my thoughts, "But Caleb, you have something that he never had and never will. He didn't notice when I was upset or when something was off, he didn't even wonder why there were days when we barely talked. You notice everything, as if you feel it, you're very...sensitive."
"That makes me sound like a pussy." He made a face.
I couldn't help but laugh. "I meant it as you sense things. You know them even if I don't say anything and that's really important for me. Not just that, when I was with John we loved each other but he didn't put any effort in our relationship, now I know that love isn't enough, you have to work hard to make a relationship last."
He blinked at me and I regretted using the l word immediately. I was talking in general, wasn't I?! "Do you think I can do that?" He asked eventually.
"I know you don't realize it because you're too hard on yourself, but you're already doing it. I don't even have to ask because you do everything right and it comes naturally to you." I explained, meaning every single word. How couldn't he see that? Was he that insecure? I still blamed it all on that stripper of his ex wife.
"I'm..." He trailed off to buy himself a few seconds. "Confused." He finished.
I kissed his lips softly then smiled. "Don't. We don't need to find all the answers tonight, we'll take one step at time. We have a whole new year to figure them out." I told him, trying to be sure for the both of us even if it hurt me a little, to know he had doubts and insecurities.
With a perfect timing, we heard people shouting the countdown to midnight. We hadn't even noticed time had passed so fast. We blinked towards them then looked into each other's eyes, our smiles matching just when the fireworks went off. "Happy new year baby." He whispered before his lips captured mine and in that moment I knew I was starting the new year with the right man.
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