I watched the dawn of the third day without Lila, considering to light another cigarette then deciding against it. My eyes focused on the sky and I was surprised I could even stand on my legs or stay awake, during the last days I had been in Lila's room nonstop, I hadn't slept, let alone eaten, I hadn't even really talked since I refused to speak to anyone except for the doctors of course. They had even tried to keep me away from icu at the beginning but I was paying for everything and it was the love of my life in a coma so there was no way I'd let anyone tell me what to do. The only breaks I took were the ones out of the hospital to have a smoke. I often found myself wishing this was just a bad dream that would end soon, instead I was wide awake, always too terrified that the moment I'd fall asleep and stop listening to the beeping that told me that Lila's heart was still beating it would stop instead.
As I took a deep breath of the fresh morning air I got a feeling, as if something was changing, a wave of hope that got me running to the ICU, but once I got there Lila was still the same, apparently just asleep, a pale princess with tubes coming out of her chest, thick needles into the veins of her arms, a mask on her beautiful face that still looked like porcelain but had lost its natural pinkness. I was still hoping she could wake up any moment, only I was losing my sanity in the process because if I was going to lose her I was going to lose myself too, I was oddly sure about that. I ran my hands through my hair, deciding to go to the cafeteria for a coffee, placing a kiss on my baby's forehead first and wincing a little when I found it colder than I was used it to be. With my hands into the pockets of my pants and my heart heavy with worry I marched down the hallways I was starting to know a little too well, only this time I stopped at the door of Colbie's room. I hadn't seen her since the day of the accident, I hadn't seen the baby either, because it was too hard for me. But I knew they were leaving the hospital later today, Jax had told me so, and so I found myself peeking my head inside, only wanting to give them a glance because I was a fucking masochist, expecting them to be asleep and me to pass unnoticed...they were awake instead, my brother holding his daughter and Colbs looking at them completely enamored. I froze as soon as I felt their eyes on me, feeling as if I was getting caught spying on something I envied a lot. Of course they were hurting for Lila too, but it wasn't the same. They still had hope into their lives, a new life that shone into their arms, while for me there was only darkness.
"Trav." My brother said quietly, blinking, surprised at least. "Is- did-"
I shook my head, knowing what he wanted to ask. "Nothing changed." I paused, walking slowly over him and giving a better look at Ruby. She was a beautiful tiny girl, her face resembling a little Colbie, a little Will, while her eyes were Jax's without a doubt. My chest clenched to the point I was sure I wasn't breathing anymore, the pain too much to handle.
"You can hold her." Colbie broke the silence, her voice tired yet soft.
I glanced at Jax who gave me an encouraging nod before placing this little doll into my arms. The feeling was overwhelming. She was warm and soft and just perfect. I didn't know why my brothers had the worst timing having babies, first Adam and now Jax, but while in the past I had thought that my time would come too, now I wasn't that sure anymore. "She's gorgeous." I commented quietly, my voice coming out groggy and low and making Ruby blink at me. God.
"I can't wait for Lila to see her too." Colbie said hopeful and I just couldn't bear this a second longer.
I swallowed. "I have to go back to her." I said back and the anxiety in my voice was evident. Fuck me, I was losing even the last bit of control I had.
"Stay with us a little longer." Jax almost begged me and into his eyes I saw all the words he didn't tell.
"I can't." I shook my head, bending my head to kiss my niece's forehead and cuddling her against my chest in the process, mentally promising her I'd be a good uncle, then I handed her back to Jax.
"Travis-" Colbie started but I lifted my hand, already on my way out the room.
"I have to go." I repeated like a broken record before heading back to Lila, my heart in one million pieces as I sat next to her. "I went to see Ruby." I told her, my hands reaching for her hand and holding her as my voice creaked. "She's gorgeous. You're going to spoil her so much baby. When you'll wake up and you'll see her, you'll go crazy for how tiny and cute she is. Because you have to wake up Lil, I can't stay without you....don't leave me here alone I just can't function without you." I rambled on, on the verge of tears as I held onto her hand. "Please baby, please I'm begging you. Wake up, let me see your beautiful eyes-" I cut myself off when the beeping of the monitor started going faster and I was immediately on alert. What was happening was she leaving me?! Fuck no. I hit the button to call the doctor, nearly jumping on my feet and looking at Lil while terror got the best of me. If this was going to be her end, it'd be mine too. I couldn't survive losing her.
Then her chest expanded visibly and her eyes opened wide, just when doctors rushed in. It was the scariest moment of my life. "What's going on???" I managed to ask to one as they checked on those stupid monitors, a nurse injecting something into her IV while one doctor checked her eyes but no one answered to me. Everything was happening so fast.
"Lila, can you hear me?" He asked while I tried to understand what was happening. Was she dying? Was she living?
Silence fell into the room for a moment, a second maybe, then she blinked her eyes and an almost inaudible whisper left her mouth. "Trav." She said and I rushed to her.
"Baby I'm here." I grabbed her hand again, my own heart beating so fast I felt as if it was in my throat.
"Do you remember who you are?" The doctor went on and Lila nodded slowly, looking super weak but...alive. She was alive.
I glanced up at him. "Is she okay?" I asked quickly.
"We have tests to run to see if there's any damage but the fact that she woke up and talked is already a great sign." He explained and that was enough for me.
I ignored him and his orders not to stress her and went back to give all my attention to my girl, caressing her head gently, almost not believing she was alive. "You scared the shit out of me baby." I breathed out, feelings overwhelming me, my eyes on hers and my lips kissing her hand gently while I felt a silent tear rolling down my cheek. "You have no idea how much I missed you."
"I saw my dad." She whispered.
I widened my eyes because I wasn't expecting that, but really, I didn't even know what I was expecting if anything. I was just happy she was talking. "What do you mean?"
"I think." She took a deep breath as she got her voice back slowly. "I think I could have died. But I couldn't leave you, I promised I'd never leave you." She said quickly, ver voice laced with terror.
"Shhh...." I kissed her forehead, trying to confort her. "You're here. That's all that matters."
"Colbie and the baby? Are they okay? What happened?" She went on, her worries coming out one at time.
"They're fine. Colbie has a sprained wrist and a headache but Ruby is perfect." I told her softly as I caressed every inch of her body.
She closed her eyes as tears ran down her face. "I was driving. She did this to her."
"Lila. No. A drunk driver ran a red light. This was not your fault." I hurried, set on making her understand that.
"If I had been paying more attention." She went on.
"Lila." My voice was sharp and she forced her eyes on his. "This was not your fault."
She nodded slowly and licked her lips. "My dad approves of you." She said softly. "And of Jax."
I smirked and squeezed her hand even if I wasn't sure about what she was talking about. "Oh thank god. Do you think you could get me to tell your brothers?"
She laughed the smallest laugh and then winced. I ached for her.
"Baby don't do too much...you've been asleep for days you're too weak."
She widened her eyes. "Days?! What do you mean??"
I parted my lips but the doctor cut me off before I could speak, reminding me we weren't alone in the room too. "You got a punctured lung because of the accident and we had to proceed with surgery, but there were complications and you slid into a coma." He explained quietly, almost automatically, in a way that bothered me because he was talking of my baby not of just a body.
Lila's eyes widened in both shock and terror and I reached for her hand to squeeze it. "How-how long have I been gone?" She asked in a barely audible breath, looking as if she was just realizing how serious her condition was, her eyes taking in the tubes coming out of her body and wincing.
"Almost three days." I answered as softly as possible, not wanting to scare her more than she already was, more than I already was.
"Oh my god." She breathed out, only now noticing my work clothes that were to throw away now. I probably smelt awful too, I needed a shower, but I had refused to leave Lila for even a moment and I didn't regret it at all. "Trav..." She trailed off, chocking on her words.
The doctor wrote something on her clinic report, "You need rest now, you still have a long way before full recovery." He explained, glancing at us briefly.
"How long do I have to stay here I hate hospitals!!!" She protested, clearly upset and agitated, the monitor beeping fast again and making me go crazy.
"A few more days, it depends on how you react from now on." He paused then gave her a serious look. "You need to stay as calm as possible, you've been real lucky so far."
I nodded, because I knew he was right no matter how much I didn't like him. "I'll be with you always baby you have nothing to worry about." I told her, caressing her cheek with nothing but love.
The doctor opened his mouth and I glared at him, daring him to say I couldn't. "I'll leave you alone now, a nurse will be back soon with your medicines and to check your stitches."
Lila just watched him as he walked out while I watched her and her only instead.
"Baby." I told her softly, demanding her attention, needing to know she was here for real. "I'm going to take care of you, I promise you have nothing to worry about." I repeated, wanting to convince her and myself too.
"You were always here...weren't you?" She asked in a whisper, her voice a little weak.
I kissed the side of her head, scooting a chair as close to her bed as possible. "I could never leave you. You're alive and that's all that matters, we'll face everything together."
"Oh Trav." Lila blinked as tears ran down her face. "You need to sleep, to eat, to shower."
"I know I probably smell awful." I shrugged, making it evident that I didn't care much of my appearances right now.
She shook her head. "You need to take care of yourself. Then you can take care of me." She said softly.
"I'm not going to leave you now. I just got you back." I said back, my tone final. I wasn't giving her any other choice.
She nodded. "No....not now. Now I'm selfish and I want you here." She smiled and kissed me. "But do you think we could get some food? I feel like I haven't eaten in three days."
Trav choked out a laugh and nodded, taking her hunger as a good sign. "Of course baby. I'll see what you're allowed to have."
"And you. You get food too."
"I will." I promised. "Colbie and Jax are still here, I should tell them you're awake."
She widened her eyes. "Oh god Trav I didn't even think of it. If I've been asleep for 3 days my family must be worried sick!"
I nodded because that was obvious. They loved her. "They've been here every moment they could." I agreed. "I'll get Jax and Colbie and we can call your mom too."
"Travis." She said as I was in the doorway.
I stopped and looked back, studying her face. "Are you okay?"
She nodded. "I love you so much." She whispered.
I smiled and was back at her side, pressing my lips against hers as if my life depended on that. In a way, it did. "I love you too." I replied gruffly.
She winced as She tried to breath in deeper, "I hurt all over." She admitted.
"I'll see if we can up your pain meds okay? I'll be right back."
---
I walked back into the room, part of me afraid I could find Lila back in her sleep an the other part of me being more rational about it. I was well aware it was going to take a while to recover from the fear I had experienced though. "She needs to rest." I said to my brother and Colbie, noticing they were still in the room, then smiled like an idiot when I noticed that Lila was holding Ruby. They looked just perfect and beautiful. "You're going to get some food soon baby." I added more softly.
"Thank god." She said casually, her attentions all for the baby girl and I couldn't blame her. For a tiny moment I imagined her with a baby that was mine, ours. Then the thought went away because it wasn't the right time to even think about that.
"We're going home now so you can rest." Colbie said softly, smiling at her sister.
She pouted immediately. "Stay a little longer please."
"Do you know her name?" Jax cut into the conversation, grinning wide and just radiating happiness.
"I thought you wanted to call her Ruby." She blinked her eyes at my brother.
He glanced at Colbie, his grin only getting wider. "Ruby Lila Cole." He said proudly.
Lila looked on the verge of crying again, for a good reason this time. "Oh god really??" She chocked out.
I groaned, even if I really liked the name and the thought in general, it was really cute and nice that they decided to name their baby girl after my girlfriend too. "You're stressing her." I protested in a mutter.
"Someone is being super overprotective." Jax teased me.
"He's kind of right." Colbie agreed with me for once.
"Thank you." I sighed as I walked to the bed, "I called your mom and Kolton, they'll come later. You're not allowed to have visits for the next few hours."
"Yeah we'll see how Reece takes that." Lila rolled her eyes and I was just happy to see her so...herself. No matter how hurt or bruised, my baby was a fighter.
Jax laughed. "Speaking of Reece, he finally made his dream come true. He handcuffed Travis."
Lila's eyes moved to me. "What?! Oh my god how much did I miss exactly?!"
"Travis went to the room of the guy who hit our car and next thing we knew Reece was escorting him out, handcuffed." Colbie explained and I could see she was amused a little. I was not.
"Trav." She shook her head but there was so much love in her voice. I would do anything for her, so what?
I shrugged nonchalantly, not regretting anything of what I had done. "You know how I am." I said as if that explained everything and in a way I thought it did.
"He smashed a chair against a wall too." Jax added.
"Can't you tell her all this when she'll be better?" I groaned as I bent over Lila, kissing her forehead then looking at Ruby to smile down at her.
"God no I want to know everything instead." She protested, frowning at me. Then she raised one eyebrow slowly. "Did you hold Ruby already?"
"This morning before you woke up." I answered as I took Ruby from Lila's arms and cuddled her against my chest. Now everything finally felt right and I could allow myself to think about myself as an uncle again. I couldn't be happier about it. "She's so tiny." I added then shot Lila a grin. "Must be because of her middle name."
"Oh ha ha I'm small." Lila rolled her eyes as Jax and I laughed with Colbie.
"Oh you don't know how good it is to hear you be you." Jax admitted, making us nod in agreement.
"I was hit by a car I didn't get a personality transplant!" She replied shaking her head.
"We know." Colbie replied, grabbing her hand. "But Lila....we really didn't know if you were going to make it." She said in a shaky voice.
"I'm sorry I scared you." She replied.
"You're my baby sister. Of course it scared me."
"It scared all of us." Jax replied, his face sobering. "If anything had happened to you..." He trailed off and she shook her head, stopping him. I didn't even want to go there.
"I'm okay. I promise. My head is killing me and I feel like I got hit by a bus but I'm not going anywhere." She said seriously. "I have way too much to live for to let a drunk driver take it all away." She added.
"Oh yeah?" Jax grinned. "Being an aunt brought you back right?"
She nodded. "Definitley. Plus have you seen my boyfriend? I can't let someone else scoop him up." She grinned at me and I just laughed, making Ruby squeal in delight. It was crazy how her mood was better than mine.
"Ahh she likes happy Travis." Jax said, scooping his little girl into his arms. "It doesn't happen often Ruby, enjoy it while it lasts." He teased.
"If you weren't holding a baby I'd hit you." I replied in a monotone.
"Guys...visiting hours ended over an hour ago...." A nurse said softly, looking a little scared. "I mean you can stay Mr. Cole, since you have been....but-"
"We'll go." Colbie replied. "But we'll be back tomorrow morning."
Lila shook her head, being stubborn as always. "Oh no Colbie, you should both go home and relax. I'm sure it was hard to lately. Be a family. Tell Will I love him."
"You'll tell him yourself tomorrow when we'll come again." Colbie said seriously, kissing her sister on the cheek.
"You're so stubborn." Lila replied softly with a sigh, even though her expression said something else.
Jax sighed himself, "Tell me about it." He said, making me chuckle. "But she's right so no arguing."
"He's just as stubborn as Colbie." I told Lila, teasing both my brother and Colbs even if that was also true. Stubbornness had brought them back together.
"Maybe even worse." He winked at his woman before they said goodbye and left us alone again.
"She's perfect." Lila said quietly, sounding as tired as she looked.
"They should make more babies." I grinned at my girlfriend, sitting on the bed next to her and holding her hand.
She smiled and nodded slowly. "Trav you should go home too." She added after a moment.
"No." I said simply, "I will when you will."
"You need to sleep, eat, shower..." She trailed off.
"When your family comes here later I'll go home for a shower and get changed but I'm not going anywhere now. And I'm not going to change my mind." I told her as I played with her fingers.
A small smile tugged at her lips, "I never saw you being clingy." She teased me and I just ignored her.
I rolled my eyes, bringing her hand to my lips and kissing her soft skin. "I can't wait to take you back home. Sleep with you, eat with you, shower with you. Being alone is no fun."
She chuckled, lifting her hand to cup my face and I bent over her to kiss her lips. "I didn't get a personality transplant but maybe you did." She muttered against my lips.
"You're not going to get away with all the teasing baby. As soon as you get better I'll spank you for this." I grinned.
"Mmm." Lila grinned and a naughty glint make her eyes sparkle.
I laughed. "Jax is right. It's good to see you being you." I squeezed her hand, I was starting to feel a little tired now that all that tension was leaving me and I was more relieved.
"You don't have to be scared anymore." She said softly, looking into my face.
"We still don't know everything that the crash did to you Lil...." I trailed off, being my usual reasonating self.
"I don't care what it did. I'll be fine." She tried to sit up a little more but pain hit her and she groaned, proving herself wrong.
"Where the fuck is the doctor with the damn pain pills?!" I growled.
"No...I'm okay it's just my leg hurts." She said, wincing.
I pushed the nurse button about a hundred times until someone came in.
"What's wrong?" A pretty brunette asked and she winced.
"She's in pain!" I groaned because it was so fucking obvious.
"It's just my leg..." Lila trailed off.
"Your leg was twisted in the crash. Not broken by some miracle, but the muscles were torn." She said, reading her chart. "We had you on basic pain medication while you were asleep but we can up it now that you're feeling pain."
"When can I leave?" She asked seriously.
"Lil." I shook my head, no matter how much she hated hospitals, she had to stay as long as they said.
"You almost died Miss. Trenton. We have to make sure the coma didn't affect your brain and that the surgery to repair your lung all went okay. It's good that you're feeling pain though. When you were asleep you weren't able to tell us where it hurt. That's important."
"Well honestly? I hurt everywhere." She admitted but I got the feeling she wasn't fully realizing that she had riskled her life.
The nurse gave her a sad smile and nodded. "I'll talk to Dr. Bowman right now about your medicine." She said as someone delivered a tray of awful food.
"Eww. What is that?" Lila asked the orderly who laughed.
"That's your dinner Miss Trenton."
She looked at the pile of brown goo and winced. "Whats a girl gotta do to get a burger?" She asked seriously.
"You can't eat burgers now Lil you've been on fluids for three days it'll make you sick." I said, shaking my head.
"And that wont?" She asked, grabbing the jello, and digging in. "Car accidents are the worst." She grumbled.
"You've got that right." The orderly agreed. "Sorry it's not more gourmet."
She shrugged as she ate her jello. "Want some goo?" She offered me the tray.
"No thanks baby." I told her as I tried not to grin because the faces she was making were kind of funny.
"So I should eat this thing even if it's clear that everyone else never would?" She pointed out, making an awfully good point. But she needed to eat.
"Let's make a deal. I'll take a spoonful if you will eat it too." I offered, even if my stomach was protesting already no matter if I had barely eaten in days.
She gave me a skeptical look. "What if it's disgusting? Are you going to tell me?" She asked slowly.
I nodded and ate as promised. Damn. Goddamn. It was fucking awful. I kept a straight face and shrugged. "Not that bad." I said casually, hoping she'd buy that.
She took a spoonful but as soon as she closed her mouth her face twisted and I was afraid she was going to spit it. "Oh god it's disgusting!!! You liar!!!" She protested after swallowing.
"Sorry baby but you need to eat." I told her seriously but I couldn't hide my amusement.
"I can't wait to be home and eat real food." She pouted, leaning back against her pillow and pushing the tray away.
I signed, running my hand through my hair. I'd have to ask if she could have something better, since she wasn't going to eat that. "Speaking of which. I'll have to ask if you need special care or something once you'll be at my place. If I'll have to clean your stitches or something." I thought out loud, making a mental list of things I had to do.
"Did you see how it is? Is it bad? Oh my god I don't want my body to get ruined." She spoke at the speed of sound, trying to get rid of the sheet covering her and lifting the hideous nightgown she was wearing.
I grabbed her hands and stopped her. "Lila. You're going to pull the tubes. Stop it. Your body is always going to be perfect and you're patched now so you're not going to see anything." I groaned, dead serious.
"But." She said slowly and pursed her lips together, stating at me. She didn't need to add more.
"But nothing." I narrowed my eyes on her then kissed her stomach softly before covering her again. "There's no arguing about that."
"Still! I'm probably going to scar." Lila pouted, being silly over that stupid thing.
"I don't care." I said back in a heartbeat.
"I do!!! That's not fair!"
I softened, hearing how upset she was. "None of this is fair baby. You should never have been here. If it wasn't for that asshole." I shook my head.
She sighed. "I wouldn't be scared for life and force feed goo?" She asked, trying to lighten the moment because she had to know I wanted to kill that guy.
"Yes." I gave her a smirk.
"You're hot." She told me seriously, smiling and leaning back as she stared at me.
"What else is new?" I asked, winking at her and making her laugh, which kind made her wince. "Careful Lil." I said, grabbing her hand and squeezing it.
"Ugh. This sucks." She sighed. "I hate hospitals and I hate being sick."
"You're not sick. You were hit by a car." I corrected her, guessing it was going to be hell to get her to stay in bed and rest. But I wasn't going to complain, not when she was walive.
"Don't remind me." She pouted.
"Is she here?" Her mothers voice came from the hallway. "I know it's not visiting hours but we didn't know if she'd ever wake up and-"
"Lila Trenton. Where is she?" Reeces authoritative voice rang out and I already wanted to hit my head against a wall.
"Just down the hall. Third door to the left."
I winced. "I think your family's here." I pointed out.
"How can you tell?" She joked as her mother rushed in the door with tears in her eyes.
"Oh baby." She said, rushing to her side.
Lila smiled and let her hold her, "Hi mom." She whispered.
"Thank god." Reece and Kolton were in the doorway smiling at her while I returned the smile to Kolton only.
"I'm okay." She assured them.
"You scared the shit out of us." Kolt said, shaking his head.
"I've heard." She smirked at me as I scooted my chair back a little, I smiled at her but didn't say anything. I was forcing myself to stay with her family just because of the circumstances. I had nothing against her mom or Kolton, but I didn't get along with Reece.
"You look terrible." He said, smirking and seeming in a good mood for once.
"Reece." Their mom glared at him.
Lila rolled her eyes. "I look better than you." She replied, folding her arms across her chest and making him laugh.
"You always do sis." He replied, leaning over to kiss her forhead. "Could have killed the guy who hit you and Colbs." He admitted while I just kept silent.
"He's in jail. That's good enough." Kolton scoffed.
"He could have killed three people." Reece said under his breath.
"Yeah but I'm going to have a badass scar so." She shrugged and her mom laughed.
"How did I end up with a bunch of potty mouths for children?" She asked through the tears still showing in her pretty eyes.
"Luck." Kolton grinned. "You could get some ink on your scar. Like Colbie did." He suggested. No. That wasn't going to happen. Lila's perfect immaculate skin was going to stay like that.
"Colbie has a tattoo?" I asked, the first thing I'd said since part of her family had shown up.
"Yeah to cover the scar from her C-Section after she had Will. You can't see it unless she's in a swimsuit." She shrugged. "Wait did she have another C-Section?"
"No Ruby came out the normal way." Her mom said smiling. "Did you meet her?"
She nodded. "She's perfect." She sighed.
I stood up, because I felt they needed some time alone, and Lila blinked up at me. "I'm going to go shower and change." I trailed off.
She nodded. "I'll be okay." She assured me, feeling my unease at leaving her alone.
"We'll stay with her until you get back." Her mom said, smiling back at me. "I'm sure my boys won't let us get kicked out."
"Damn right." Reece agreed.
I nodded and kept my thoughts to myself as I leaned down to kiss her softly. "I'll see if I can get you something better to eat." I said, kissing her again and then walking to the door.
"Hey." Reece said as I reached the doorway. I stopped and I looked back. "Thanks for staying with her." He said softly.
I just nodded and walked away because I couldn't come up with something to say. What was to say? There was no need to thank me, of course I had to stay with her. She was mine, and I wasn't going to ever let her go.
"Trav." My brother said quietly, blinking, surprised at least. "Is- did-"
I shook my head, knowing what he wanted to ask. "Nothing changed." I paused, walking slowly over him and giving a better look at Ruby. She was a beautiful tiny girl, her face resembling a little Colbie, a little Will, while her eyes were Jax's without a doubt. My chest clenched to the point I was sure I wasn't breathing anymore, the pain too much to handle.
"You can hold her." Colbie broke the silence, her voice tired yet soft.
I glanced at Jax who gave me an encouraging nod before placing this little doll into my arms. The feeling was overwhelming. She was warm and soft and just perfect. I didn't know why my brothers had the worst timing having babies, first Adam and now Jax, but while in the past I had thought that my time would come too, now I wasn't that sure anymore. "She's gorgeous." I commented quietly, my voice coming out groggy and low and making Ruby blink at me. God.
"I can't wait for Lila to see her too." Colbie said hopeful and I just couldn't bear this a second longer.
I swallowed. "I have to go back to her." I said back and the anxiety in my voice was evident. Fuck me, I was losing even the last bit of control I had.
"Stay with us a little longer." Jax almost begged me and into his eyes I saw all the words he didn't tell.
"I can't." I shook my head, bending my head to kiss my niece's forehead and cuddling her against my chest in the process, mentally promising her I'd be a good uncle, then I handed her back to Jax.
"Travis-" Colbie started but I lifted my hand, already on my way out the room.
"I have to go." I repeated like a broken record before heading back to Lila, my heart in one million pieces as I sat next to her. "I went to see Ruby." I told her, my hands reaching for her hand and holding her as my voice creaked. "She's gorgeous. You're going to spoil her so much baby. When you'll wake up and you'll see her, you'll go crazy for how tiny and cute she is. Because you have to wake up Lil, I can't stay without you....don't leave me here alone I just can't function without you." I rambled on, on the verge of tears as I held onto her hand. "Please baby, please I'm begging you. Wake up, let me see your beautiful eyes-" I cut myself off when the beeping of the monitor started going faster and I was immediately on alert. What was happening was she leaving me?! Fuck no. I hit the button to call the doctor, nearly jumping on my feet and looking at Lil while terror got the best of me. If this was going to be her end, it'd be mine too. I couldn't survive losing her.
Then her chest expanded visibly and her eyes opened wide, just when doctors rushed in. It was the scariest moment of my life. "What's going on???" I managed to ask to one as they checked on those stupid monitors, a nurse injecting something into her IV while one doctor checked her eyes but no one answered to me. Everything was happening so fast.
"Lila, can you hear me?" He asked while I tried to understand what was happening. Was she dying? Was she living?
Silence fell into the room for a moment, a second maybe, then she blinked her eyes and an almost inaudible whisper left her mouth. "Trav." She said and I rushed to her.
"Baby I'm here." I grabbed her hand again, my own heart beating so fast I felt as if it was in my throat.
"Do you remember who you are?" The doctor went on and Lila nodded slowly, looking super weak but...alive. She was alive.
I glanced up at him. "Is she okay?" I asked quickly.
"We have tests to run to see if there's any damage but the fact that she woke up and talked is already a great sign." He explained and that was enough for me.
I ignored him and his orders not to stress her and went back to give all my attention to my girl, caressing her head gently, almost not believing she was alive. "You scared the shit out of me baby." I breathed out, feelings overwhelming me, my eyes on hers and my lips kissing her hand gently while I felt a silent tear rolling down my cheek. "You have no idea how much I missed you."
"I saw my dad." She whispered.
I widened my eyes because I wasn't expecting that, but really, I didn't even know what I was expecting if anything. I was just happy she was talking. "What do you mean?"
"I think." She took a deep breath as she got her voice back slowly. "I think I could have died. But I couldn't leave you, I promised I'd never leave you." She said quickly, ver voice laced with terror.
"Shhh...." I kissed her forehead, trying to confort her. "You're here. That's all that matters."
"Colbie and the baby? Are they okay? What happened?" She went on, her worries coming out one at time.
"They're fine. Colbie has a sprained wrist and a headache but Ruby is perfect." I told her softly as I caressed every inch of her body.
She closed her eyes as tears ran down her face. "I was driving. She did this to her."
"Lila. No. A drunk driver ran a red light. This was not your fault." I hurried, set on making her understand that.
"If I had been paying more attention." She went on.
"Lila." My voice was sharp and she forced her eyes on his. "This was not your fault."
She nodded slowly and licked her lips. "My dad approves of you." She said softly. "And of Jax."
I smirked and squeezed her hand even if I wasn't sure about what she was talking about. "Oh thank god. Do you think you could get me to tell your brothers?"
She laughed the smallest laugh and then winced. I ached for her.
"Baby don't do too much...you've been asleep for days you're too weak."
She widened her eyes. "Days?! What do you mean??"
I parted my lips but the doctor cut me off before I could speak, reminding me we weren't alone in the room too. "You got a punctured lung because of the accident and we had to proceed with surgery, but there were complications and you slid into a coma." He explained quietly, almost automatically, in a way that bothered me because he was talking of my baby not of just a body.
Lila's eyes widened in both shock and terror and I reached for her hand to squeeze it. "How-how long have I been gone?" She asked in a barely audible breath, looking as if she was just realizing how serious her condition was, her eyes taking in the tubes coming out of her body and wincing.
"Almost three days." I answered as softly as possible, not wanting to scare her more than she already was, more than I already was.
"Oh my god." She breathed out, only now noticing my work clothes that were to throw away now. I probably smelt awful too, I needed a shower, but I had refused to leave Lila for even a moment and I didn't regret it at all. "Trav..." She trailed off, chocking on her words.
The doctor wrote something on her clinic report, "You need rest now, you still have a long way before full recovery." He explained, glancing at us briefly.
"How long do I have to stay here I hate hospitals!!!" She protested, clearly upset and agitated, the monitor beeping fast again and making me go crazy.
"A few more days, it depends on how you react from now on." He paused then gave her a serious look. "You need to stay as calm as possible, you've been real lucky so far."
I nodded, because I knew he was right no matter how much I didn't like him. "I'll be with you always baby you have nothing to worry about." I told her, caressing her cheek with nothing but love.
The doctor opened his mouth and I glared at him, daring him to say I couldn't. "I'll leave you alone now, a nurse will be back soon with your medicines and to check your stitches."
Lila just watched him as he walked out while I watched her and her only instead.
"Baby." I told her softly, demanding her attention, needing to know she was here for real. "I'm going to take care of you, I promise you have nothing to worry about." I repeated, wanting to convince her and myself too.
"You were always here...weren't you?" She asked in a whisper, her voice a little weak.
I kissed the side of her head, scooting a chair as close to her bed as possible. "I could never leave you. You're alive and that's all that matters, we'll face everything together."
"Oh Trav." Lila blinked as tears ran down her face. "You need to sleep, to eat, to shower."
"I know I probably smell awful." I shrugged, making it evident that I didn't care much of my appearances right now.
She shook her head. "You need to take care of yourself. Then you can take care of me." She said softly.
"I'm not going to leave you now. I just got you back." I said back, my tone final. I wasn't giving her any other choice.
She nodded. "No....not now. Now I'm selfish and I want you here." She smiled and kissed me. "But do you think we could get some food? I feel like I haven't eaten in three days."
Trav choked out a laugh and nodded, taking her hunger as a good sign. "Of course baby. I'll see what you're allowed to have."
"And you. You get food too."
"I will." I promised. "Colbie and Jax are still here, I should tell them you're awake."
She widened her eyes. "Oh god Trav I didn't even think of it. If I've been asleep for 3 days my family must be worried sick!"
I nodded because that was obvious. They loved her. "They've been here every moment they could." I agreed. "I'll get Jax and Colbie and we can call your mom too."
"Travis." She said as I was in the doorway.
I stopped and looked back, studying her face. "Are you okay?"
She nodded. "I love you so much." She whispered.
I smiled and was back at her side, pressing my lips against hers as if my life depended on that. In a way, it did. "I love you too." I replied gruffly.
She winced as She tried to breath in deeper, "I hurt all over." She admitted.
"I'll see if we can up your pain meds okay? I'll be right back."
---
I walked back into the room, part of me afraid I could find Lila back in her sleep an the other part of me being more rational about it. I was well aware it was going to take a while to recover from the fear I had experienced though. "She needs to rest." I said to my brother and Colbie, noticing they were still in the room, then smiled like an idiot when I noticed that Lila was holding Ruby. They looked just perfect and beautiful. "You're going to get some food soon baby." I added more softly.
"Thank god." She said casually, her attentions all for the baby girl and I couldn't blame her. For a tiny moment I imagined her with a baby that was mine, ours. Then the thought went away because it wasn't the right time to even think about that.
"We're going home now so you can rest." Colbie said softly, smiling at her sister.
She pouted immediately. "Stay a little longer please."
"Do you know her name?" Jax cut into the conversation, grinning wide and just radiating happiness.
"I thought you wanted to call her Ruby." She blinked her eyes at my brother.
He glanced at Colbie, his grin only getting wider. "Ruby Lila Cole." He said proudly.
Lila looked on the verge of crying again, for a good reason this time. "Oh god really??" She chocked out.
I groaned, even if I really liked the name and the thought in general, it was really cute and nice that they decided to name their baby girl after my girlfriend too. "You're stressing her." I protested in a mutter.
"Someone is being super overprotective." Jax teased me.
"He's kind of right." Colbie agreed with me for once.
"Thank you." I sighed as I walked to the bed, "I called your mom and Kolton, they'll come later. You're not allowed to have visits for the next few hours."
"Yeah we'll see how Reece takes that." Lila rolled her eyes and I was just happy to see her so...herself. No matter how hurt or bruised, my baby was a fighter.
Jax laughed. "Speaking of Reece, he finally made his dream come true. He handcuffed Travis."
Lila's eyes moved to me. "What?! Oh my god how much did I miss exactly?!"
"Travis went to the room of the guy who hit our car and next thing we knew Reece was escorting him out, handcuffed." Colbie explained and I could see she was amused a little. I was not.
"Trav." She shook her head but there was so much love in her voice. I would do anything for her, so what?
I shrugged nonchalantly, not regretting anything of what I had done. "You know how I am." I said as if that explained everything and in a way I thought it did.
"He smashed a chair against a wall too." Jax added.
"Can't you tell her all this when she'll be better?" I groaned as I bent over Lila, kissing her forehead then looking at Ruby to smile down at her.
"God no I want to know everything instead." She protested, frowning at me. Then she raised one eyebrow slowly. "Did you hold Ruby already?"
"This morning before you woke up." I answered as I took Ruby from Lila's arms and cuddled her against my chest. Now everything finally felt right and I could allow myself to think about myself as an uncle again. I couldn't be happier about it. "She's so tiny." I added then shot Lila a grin. "Must be because of her middle name."
"Oh ha ha I'm small." Lila rolled her eyes as Jax and I laughed with Colbie.
"Oh you don't know how good it is to hear you be you." Jax admitted, making us nod in agreement.
"I was hit by a car I didn't get a personality transplant!" She replied shaking her head.
"We know." Colbie replied, grabbing her hand. "But Lila....we really didn't know if you were going to make it." She said in a shaky voice.
"I'm sorry I scared you." She replied.
"You're my baby sister. Of course it scared me."
"It scared all of us." Jax replied, his face sobering. "If anything had happened to you..." He trailed off and she shook her head, stopping him. I didn't even want to go there.
"I'm okay. I promise. My head is killing me and I feel like I got hit by a bus but I'm not going anywhere." She said seriously. "I have way too much to live for to let a drunk driver take it all away." She added.
"Oh yeah?" Jax grinned. "Being an aunt brought you back right?"
She nodded. "Definitley. Plus have you seen my boyfriend? I can't let someone else scoop him up." She grinned at me and I just laughed, making Ruby squeal in delight. It was crazy how her mood was better than mine.
"Ahh she likes happy Travis." Jax said, scooping his little girl into his arms. "It doesn't happen often Ruby, enjoy it while it lasts." He teased.
"If you weren't holding a baby I'd hit you." I replied in a monotone.
"Guys...visiting hours ended over an hour ago...." A nurse said softly, looking a little scared. "I mean you can stay Mr. Cole, since you have been....but-"
"We'll go." Colbie replied. "But we'll be back tomorrow morning."
Lila shook her head, being stubborn as always. "Oh no Colbie, you should both go home and relax. I'm sure it was hard to lately. Be a family. Tell Will I love him."
"You'll tell him yourself tomorrow when we'll come again." Colbie said seriously, kissing her sister on the cheek.
"You're so stubborn." Lila replied softly with a sigh, even though her expression said something else.
Jax sighed himself, "Tell me about it." He said, making me chuckle. "But she's right so no arguing."
"He's just as stubborn as Colbie." I told Lila, teasing both my brother and Colbs even if that was also true. Stubbornness had brought them back together.
"Maybe even worse." He winked at his woman before they said goodbye and left us alone again.
"She's perfect." Lila said quietly, sounding as tired as she looked.
"They should make more babies." I grinned at my girlfriend, sitting on the bed next to her and holding her hand.
She smiled and nodded slowly. "Trav you should go home too." She added after a moment.
"No." I said simply, "I will when you will."
"You need to sleep, eat, shower..." She trailed off.
"When your family comes here later I'll go home for a shower and get changed but I'm not going anywhere now. And I'm not going to change my mind." I told her as I played with her fingers.
A small smile tugged at her lips, "I never saw you being clingy." She teased me and I just ignored her.
I rolled my eyes, bringing her hand to my lips and kissing her soft skin. "I can't wait to take you back home. Sleep with you, eat with you, shower with you. Being alone is no fun."
She chuckled, lifting her hand to cup my face and I bent over her to kiss her lips. "I didn't get a personality transplant but maybe you did." She muttered against my lips.
"You're not going to get away with all the teasing baby. As soon as you get better I'll spank you for this." I grinned.
"Mmm." Lila grinned and a naughty glint make her eyes sparkle.
I laughed. "Jax is right. It's good to see you being you." I squeezed her hand, I was starting to feel a little tired now that all that tension was leaving me and I was more relieved.
"You don't have to be scared anymore." She said softly, looking into my face.
"We still don't know everything that the crash did to you Lil...." I trailed off, being my usual reasonating self.
"I don't care what it did. I'll be fine." She tried to sit up a little more but pain hit her and she groaned, proving herself wrong.
"Where the fuck is the doctor with the damn pain pills?!" I growled.
"No...I'm okay it's just my leg hurts." She said, wincing.
I pushed the nurse button about a hundred times until someone came in.
"What's wrong?" A pretty brunette asked and she winced.
"She's in pain!" I groaned because it was so fucking obvious.
"It's just my leg..." Lila trailed off.
"Your leg was twisted in the crash. Not broken by some miracle, but the muscles were torn." She said, reading her chart. "We had you on basic pain medication while you were asleep but we can up it now that you're feeling pain."
"When can I leave?" She asked seriously.
"Lil." I shook my head, no matter how much she hated hospitals, she had to stay as long as they said.
"You almost died Miss. Trenton. We have to make sure the coma didn't affect your brain and that the surgery to repair your lung all went okay. It's good that you're feeling pain though. When you were asleep you weren't able to tell us where it hurt. That's important."
"Well honestly? I hurt everywhere." She admitted but I got the feeling she wasn't fully realizing that she had riskled her life.
The nurse gave her a sad smile and nodded. "I'll talk to Dr. Bowman right now about your medicine." She said as someone delivered a tray of awful food.
"Eww. What is that?" Lila asked the orderly who laughed.
"That's your dinner Miss Trenton."
She looked at the pile of brown goo and winced. "Whats a girl gotta do to get a burger?" She asked seriously.
"You can't eat burgers now Lil you've been on fluids for three days it'll make you sick." I said, shaking my head.
"And that wont?" She asked, grabbing the jello, and digging in. "Car accidents are the worst." She grumbled.
"You've got that right." The orderly agreed. "Sorry it's not more gourmet."
She shrugged as she ate her jello. "Want some goo?" She offered me the tray.
"No thanks baby." I told her as I tried not to grin because the faces she was making were kind of funny.
"So I should eat this thing even if it's clear that everyone else never would?" She pointed out, making an awfully good point. But she needed to eat.
"Let's make a deal. I'll take a spoonful if you will eat it too." I offered, even if my stomach was protesting already no matter if I had barely eaten in days.
She gave me a skeptical look. "What if it's disgusting? Are you going to tell me?" She asked slowly.
I nodded and ate as promised. Damn. Goddamn. It was fucking awful. I kept a straight face and shrugged. "Not that bad." I said casually, hoping she'd buy that.
She took a spoonful but as soon as she closed her mouth her face twisted and I was afraid she was going to spit it. "Oh god it's disgusting!!! You liar!!!" She protested after swallowing.
"Sorry baby but you need to eat." I told her seriously but I couldn't hide my amusement.
"I can't wait to be home and eat real food." She pouted, leaning back against her pillow and pushing the tray away.
I signed, running my hand through my hair. I'd have to ask if she could have something better, since she wasn't going to eat that. "Speaking of which. I'll have to ask if you need special care or something once you'll be at my place. If I'll have to clean your stitches or something." I thought out loud, making a mental list of things I had to do.
"Did you see how it is? Is it bad? Oh my god I don't want my body to get ruined." She spoke at the speed of sound, trying to get rid of the sheet covering her and lifting the hideous nightgown she was wearing.
I grabbed her hands and stopped her. "Lila. You're going to pull the tubes. Stop it. Your body is always going to be perfect and you're patched now so you're not going to see anything." I groaned, dead serious.
"But." She said slowly and pursed her lips together, stating at me. She didn't need to add more.
"But nothing." I narrowed my eyes on her then kissed her stomach softly before covering her again. "There's no arguing about that."
"Still! I'm probably going to scar." Lila pouted, being silly over that stupid thing.
"I don't care." I said back in a heartbeat.
"I do!!! That's not fair!"
I softened, hearing how upset she was. "None of this is fair baby. You should never have been here. If it wasn't for that asshole." I shook my head.
She sighed. "I wouldn't be scared for life and force feed goo?" She asked, trying to lighten the moment because she had to know I wanted to kill that guy.
"Yes." I gave her a smirk.
"You're hot." She told me seriously, smiling and leaning back as she stared at me.
"What else is new?" I asked, winking at her and making her laugh, which kind made her wince. "Careful Lil." I said, grabbing her hand and squeezing it.
"Ugh. This sucks." She sighed. "I hate hospitals and I hate being sick."
"You're not sick. You were hit by a car." I corrected her, guessing it was going to be hell to get her to stay in bed and rest. But I wasn't going to complain, not when she was walive.
"Don't remind me." She pouted.
"Is she here?" Her mothers voice came from the hallway. "I know it's not visiting hours but we didn't know if she'd ever wake up and-"
"Lila Trenton. Where is she?" Reeces authoritative voice rang out and I already wanted to hit my head against a wall.
"Just down the hall. Third door to the left."
I winced. "I think your family's here." I pointed out.
"How can you tell?" She joked as her mother rushed in the door with tears in her eyes.
"Oh baby." She said, rushing to her side.
Lila smiled and let her hold her, "Hi mom." She whispered.
"Thank god." Reece and Kolton were in the doorway smiling at her while I returned the smile to Kolton only.
"I'm okay." She assured them.
"You scared the shit out of us." Kolt said, shaking his head.
"I've heard." She smirked at me as I scooted my chair back a little, I smiled at her but didn't say anything. I was forcing myself to stay with her family just because of the circumstances. I had nothing against her mom or Kolton, but I didn't get along with Reece.
"You look terrible." He said, smirking and seeming in a good mood for once.
"Reece." Their mom glared at him.
Lila rolled her eyes. "I look better than you." She replied, folding her arms across her chest and making him laugh.
"You always do sis." He replied, leaning over to kiss her forhead. "Could have killed the guy who hit you and Colbs." He admitted while I just kept silent.
"He's in jail. That's good enough." Kolton scoffed.
"He could have killed three people." Reece said under his breath.
"Yeah but I'm going to have a badass scar so." She shrugged and her mom laughed.
"How did I end up with a bunch of potty mouths for children?" She asked through the tears still showing in her pretty eyes.
"Luck." Kolton grinned. "You could get some ink on your scar. Like Colbie did." He suggested. No. That wasn't going to happen. Lila's perfect immaculate skin was going to stay like that.
"Colbie has a tattoo?" I asked, the first thing I'd said since part of her family had shown up.
"Yeah to cover the scar from her C-Section after she had Will. You can't see it unless she's in a swimsuit." She shrugged. "Wait did she have another C-Section?"
"No Ruby came out the normal way." Her mom said smiling. "Did you meet her?"
She nodded. "She's perfect." She sighed.
I stood up, because I felt they needed some time alone, and Lila blinked up at me. "I'm going to go shower and change." I trailed off.
She nodded. "I'll be okay." She assured me, feeling my unease at leaving her alone.
"We'll stay with her until you get back." Her mom said, smiling back at me. "I'm sure my boys won't let us get kicked out."
"Damn right." Reece agreed.
I nodded and kept my thoughts to myself as I leaned down to kiss her softly. "I'll see if I can get you something better to eat." I said, kissing her again and then walking to the door.
"Hey." Reece said as I reached the doorway. I stopped and I looked back. "Thanks for staying with her." He said softly.
I just nodded and walked away because I couldn't come up with something to say. What was to say? There was no need to thank me, of course I had to stay with her. She was mine, and I wasn't going to ever let her go.
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