4.10.2016

faded

I walked into the hospital like a tornado, my heart beating so fast I didn't even how how it was possible since I wasn't even sure I was breathing. "I'm looking for Colbie Trenton." I said hurriedly to the woman standing at the desk, "There was a car crash and she's pregnant and-" I started, trying not to lose my damn mind, but was that even possible when you had heard your girlfriend's car crashing against another one while you were on the phone with her? I didn't even know how I had been able to function, call the police and drive to the hospital without having a heart attack.
"We're waiting for her ambulance." She cut me off, looking at her computer screen.
"Is she okay? Is the baby okay? When is she going to be here?" I asked, anxiety eating me alive.
"Soon, she's in good hands." She tried to reassure me, using a professional tone that I was sure she used with everyone since it was her job and she saw things like these everyday but fuck.
"What about Lila Trenton." I swallowed as I tried to be as reasonable as possible but fuck it was hard. Nearly impossible.
She raised one eyebrow at me, suspiciously. "I'm not allowed to say-"
"I'm her brother in law." I lied even though it was something I would be sooner or later. "Please, please, I'm begging you."
She let out a sigh and seemed to soften. "She's in surgery, but I can't tell you anything else."
The world stopped. Then it started spinning. I didn't even know where to start, I had to tell their family, my family, Will...Travis. I grabbed my phone and called him, "Trav, Lila and Colbie got into a car crash, I'm at the hospital waiting for Colbs but Lila is going through surgery and they won't tell me what's wrong with her." I said in one quick breath, not giving him time to even say hi.
What I heard from the other side was a silence that was explosive. "I'm on my way." He said in a tone I knew a little too well and hung up. He lost it and I couldn't help him this time, I was in his same ship.
I called one of his brothers next, I didn't even know who he was. I didn't know if I had to tell Will. Maybe not. Not yet. But I called Adam and asked him to take care of him. Everything was a blur. It was like having an extra corporeal experience. "Colbie!" I yelled as soon as they pushed her through the door and I was next to her in a heartbeat.
"Jax I'm having our baby...aaah!" Her face twisted in pain while I felt helpless. Then I noticed that her arm was bruised and she wasn't moving it.
"What's wrong with her?" I asked to the nurse pushing her through the corridor.
"Her arm is probably broken but we have to take care of the baby first." She explained simply, focused on her job and she better be.
I didn't know what to worry about more, or first. "Is the baby okay?"
"Where's Lila???" Colbie asked instead, looking at me with wide eyes while I decided that I couldn't tell her. Not now.
"They're taking care of her." I answered as I grabbed her other hand, swallowing because I always had a hard time lying. I couldn't bear this situation, I wished I could take her pain, feel it for her. I wished none of this was happening.
“I want to see her!” Colbie shouted, looking out of herself. It was scary.
“You can’t Colbs it’s time for Ruby to come.” I tried to make her reason even though I was having a hard time thinking straight myself.
She shook her head wildly, grabbing onto my hand with her free one and holding tight. “No it’s too early I can’t.”
“Your water broke Miss Trenton.” The nurse said as doctors and nurses alike rushed in. “The baby is coming right now.”
“But-“ She started before another contraction hit her hard and fast and she screamed as she kept squeezing hand. “I NEED MEDS!!!” She shouted.
“I’m sorry we can’t give you an epidural in this condition.” The doctor shook her head sympathetically.
“What the fuck do you mean you can’t give her meds?” I asked.
“If she had a concussion or any kind of spinal injury in the crash the epidural could be dangerous to her and the baby.” She explained.
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?” Colbie shouted and then winced.
“Can you at least clean her up? That cut looks bad!” I was looking at her forhead and she pouted.
“How bad?”
“Let’s focus on the baby okay? Can I call you Colbie?” The doctor asked and Colbs nodded. “Sir we have to ask you to leave.”
“Oh HELL NO!” She shouted. Again. Seeing her like this was killing me. “This is the baby’s father and he isn’t going anywhere!!”
“COLBIE!” The sound of her brother Parker's voice reached us and we turned to see him rushing in with her mother and Kolton. “Oh her god Colbs…”
“Mom.” She sobbed.
“Oh baby….”
“You need to get them out of here!!!”
“This is my sister!!” Parker shouted. “We deserve to know what’s going on!! And where the fuck is Lila?”
“I thought you said she was fine.” She looked at me as I glared at Parker.
“All of you get the hell out of this room!!!!” I shouted, looking him straight in the face. This wasn't going to help Colbie or the baby or Lila, I understood they were worried and they were her family, but she didn't need to be more confused or worried than she already was.
Parker stared me down for a moment before their mom grabbed his hand.
“We’ll be right outside.” Kolton said softly.
“Is Lila okay?” Colbs cried, moaning as the pain in her body overtook her.
“We’re going to need you to push.” The doctor said seriously.
“No I can’t.” She cried. “I hurt all over….oh god I feel like I’m dying…”
“As soon as the baby is out we can get you some medicine Colbie but you need to let our baby come okay?” I whispered, stroking her head and feeling useless.
“Where’s Will? Is he okay?”
"He's with Adam and Liz, he'll get here later." I tried to reassure her and focus on her, I was doing my best to keep all the rest outside. It was nearly impossible.
"Okay." She breathed out, then squeezed my hand, "UGHHHHH!" She screamed, her eyes shutting.
"Push Colbie." The doctor said firmly, looking straight between her legs.
I swallowed, caressing her forehead as I looked into her eyes. "Come on baby, you can do it. Breath." I said uncertainly. I got a glare. "Push our baby out." I said more firmly, squeezing her hand.
"Oh GOD!!!!" She cried out loud.
"I can see the head." The nurse smiled then I swore I saw her frown as she walked to Colbie's head to clean her forehead where some blood still was streaming down her temple. As if I could forget what had just happened.
"I can't do this it hurts." She kept crying and it broke my heart a little.
"You're almost there Colbie, just a little more. Come on." The doctor said.
What happened in the next minute was something I couldn't even explain. One moment it was us and the nurses and the doctor. A moment later there was a cry louder than Colbie's, and it was Ruby's. "Oh my god that's our baby." Colbie breathed out, her eyes wide on our girl as they cleaned her and set her on her chest.
I was completely shocked. I was a father now. "Yes." I breathed out and smiled, reaching for my daughter and caressing her cheek for the very first time. I thought my heart just doubled its side to keep all the love. "She's beautiful." I whispered.
"We'll be right back, we need to weight this beautiful baby and in the meantime Dr. Ross will take care of you." The nurse said softly, taking Ruby.
"Already?! I want to stay with her." Colbie protested, looking absolutely heartbroken.
"They have to fix your arm baby. Don't worry I'm here with you." I told her as I tried to keep calm. "Ruby will be back with us soon."
"Just the time for X-ray and see if you need your arm put in plaster cast." Another nurse popped out of nowhere and before I could blink they were already taking her away. "You can wait here." The woman added.
I bent over her quickly and kissed her lips gently. "I'm here for you." Was the last thing I said.
Once out of the room I walked towards Colbie's family. "Ruby's fine and Colbie should be too." I announced but my thoughts, just like theirs, were somewhere else too, it was written on their faces. "Lila?" I asked anxiously.
"Still in surgery." Kolton said with a strained face, "Travis just got here...he's..." He trailed off, not finishing the sentence.
"I have to go find him."

Travis;

"Why no one's telling me what's going on?! Who should I pay to know if my girlfriend is alive???" I screamed, beyond mad, beyond desperate, beyond anything. This was the most terrifying thing ever happening. And I couldn't control it. I couldn't control anything.
"Mr. Cole I understand-" The man wearing white told me and I rolled my fists.
"You don't understand shit!!!!" I cut him off, shouting in his face, "I can't get inside, I can't know what they're doing to her and I'm not going to just stay here and wait!!!" I was this close to punch him. This close.
"Travis." A pair of hands grabbed me from behind, pulling me away from the doctor or whoever he was.
I turned my head, ready to kill. But it was Jax. "They're not telling me anything." My voice came out in a roar. "These assholes are deciding of Lila's life and I can't do anything."
"Maybe I should call the security." That idiot said.
"You should run instead." I said between gritted teeth. I could kill him or anyone between me and Lila with my bare hands.
Jax tugged at my arm. "It won't be necessary, I'll calm him down." My brother said unrealistically. No one could calm me. Then he stared at me. "Why did she need surgery?"
"Something about her head, like something hit her and pieces of glass...I don't even fucking know!!!" I ran my hands through my hair like a mad man, refusing this could be happen to my baby. She had to live. "They said maybe her brain didn't get oxygen at some point..." I shook my head, in complete denial as seconds felt like hours.

“So it looks like your wrist is sprained not broken, and your head needs stitches, but honestly Miss Trenton you’re a lucky woman.” The doctor said seriously and I almost slapped him.
“Talk to me about being lucky when you give me back my daughter and tell me how my sister is.” I snapped.
“Your sister?” He asked questioningly.
“Do you not even talk to each other around here?!?” I groaned. “Bring me back to my family please.” I groaned.
“But…your stitches…” The nurse started.
“I don’t give a fu.ck about my head if my sister is hurting!!!” I replied. “Just let me see my family!!!” She shut up quick and rolled my wheelchair out of radiology.
“We really need to stitch you up and put a temporary cast on your wrist.” She said softly.
“Fine. Do it with Jax there at least.”
“He’s your husband?” She asked slowly.
“Yes.” I lied, but if that was going to get him here with me I didn’t care. Finally I saw my whole family sitting in a waiting room outside my own.
“Mom.” She rushed to me and cupped my face.
“How are you baby? How’s Ruby?”
“She’s so beautiful.” I cried. “Where’s Jax?”
“He went to find Travis and see if we can find anything out about Lila.” She replied seriously
“IF anyone will get this damn hospital to tell us anything about her it’s Travis.” Kolton said seriously. I agreed with him, he must be going out of his mind.
“Where’s Ruby?”
“Right here.” The nurse brought a bundle and set her in my arms. She wiggled against me and then looked up into my eyes and I swear nothing mattered in that simple second looking at her.
“Hi baby girl.” I whispered, leaning down to nuzzle her nose. “I should have known you’d come early…it’s just like your mother.” I smiled and she gurgled a tiny noise as my family gathered around.
“Ahh Colbs she’s perfect.” Parker said, looking adoringly at the little girl. “Can I hold her?” I nodded as I lifted her up into my brothers arms, just as a doctor came out of the surgical room with Jax and Travis following close behind.

Jax;

“Please someone tell this as.shole that Lila is family.” Travis said with barely restrained rage as the doctor escorted us out where Colbs and the other Trentons were.
“He’s family.” Her mother said immediately. “They both are.”
The doctor nodded. “Miss Trenton had a punctured lung in the accident. We repaired that but during the sugery her heart stopped beating.”
I found myself holding my breath, for Colbs and for Trav.
“Her heart stopped?” Travis asked, his face looking white.
The doctor nodded. “We got it beating again but I have to be honest, her brain was without oxygen for enough time that she could never wake up.”
Travis grabbed one of the chairs and threw it against the wall, making a loud crash as Parker and I swore and Kolton grabbed their mom’s hand who gasped. I couldn't say I wasn't expecting that from Travis, he was losing it and I couldn't even blame him. I was having a hard time holding myself together too.
“You’re telling me my daughter is brain dead?” Mrs Trenton asked slowly.
The doctor shook his head. “There’s still some activity, but unless she wakes up on her own in the next few days…”
Kolton glared at him. “You’re saying she’s in a coma.”
“Yes.” He said back simply.
Travis had stomped off and Colbs looked at me while I looking between where he’d run off to and Parker who was still holding my daughter. “I-“ I started, then shook his head and looked at the floor.
“I’m very sorry.” The doctor said as two police men walked up to us, one of them related to Colbs.
Reece rushed to us, his eyes on Colbie, "They called us for a car accident and I took it as soon as I heard your name, are you okay???" He asked then his eyes moved to Ruby and he blinked, a ghost of a smile on his face, "Is that my niece?"
"We're okay." Colbs nodded before her face twisted, "But Lila..."
He froze, "Lila?" He asked, the silence surrounding us unreal.
"She's in a coma and they don't know if she'll wake up." Parker answered, swallowing while Mrs Trenton started sobbing in silence. "All we can do is wait."
"I need to talk to a doctor." Reece muttered in a tone of barely restrained anger.
His collegue butted in almost timidly, "We should ask about the car crash first, for the report..."
"Are you ready?" Another doctor appeared, looking at Colbie, and I was so confused. Everything felt unreal.
"I guess." She sighed.
I looked at Parker, then at the baby in his arms...my baby. She looked so tiny, so perfect. He offered a smile and gave me that little bundle of perfection, while I tried not to freak out because I was afraid to break her. I cuddled gently against my chest, my eyes not leaving her for a moment, studying her, I was already so in love.
"Ouch!" Colbie's voice broke me out of my daze and I glanced at her, the doctor was putting her wrist in a temporary cast, but as soon as she felt her eyes on me she managed to smile a little. "You two look perfect." She bit down on her lip, her eyes watering.
"I can't believe we made her." I admitted in a whisper, placing the softest kiss on Ruby's forehead.
"You need to get back to your room now Colbie, so that we can give you more meds and you can rest." The doctor said patiently.
She glared, "I don't want to rest."
"You need to." Her mom told her softly while the rest of the Trenton clan just nodded in agreement, Reece out of sight and I wondered if he was with Lila.
"But I want to see Lila, how can I just stay in a bed and do nothing?!" She protested like the stubborn woman she was, even though this time I couldn't blame her. No one ever prepared you for times like these.
"You can stay with your family, but only two people at time." The doctor added.
"Sure." She rolled her eyes. "Can I at least keep my baby? Or you're going to keep me away from her too?" She asked bitterly and that wasn't her at all. My guess was that she was shocked, we all were, but she didn't even realize it.
We started for her room, when a voice I knew too well echoed through the hallway. "He nearly killed my girlfriend and I'm the bad one?!" Travis appeared again, shouting to Reece who was holding him by his elbow, my brother's hands between his back and I didn't need to see it to know he was handcuffed. Good lord.
"What- what happened?" I blurred out, asking what everyone else was wondering.
"Look, I'm the first one who want to kill that asshole, but you can't just go and get it done." Reece said to Travis, his tone low and understanding.
"So you're just locking me in a cell while he should be the one rotting there?!" My brother went on, completely unaware of all the rest while the rest of the family was looking at him with wide eyes. They had never seen him like this, they had barely seen him in the past at all, it wasn't good to see.
Reece grabbed his arm again when he tried to get free, "You're lucky I'm the one on duty or you'd really end up arrested. I'm just taking you out until you calm down and stop trying to punch everything and everyone on your way."
Once they were close to us again Travis finally realized that he wasn't alone with the infamous cop brothers. He didn't say a word but when his eyes landed on Ruby I saw how his expression changed, I saw his heart breaking. "She's beautiful." He commented, his tone unnaturally low, before Reece escorted him outside.
I glanced at Colbie and she understood without me saying a word. "Go." She said.

Travis;

I stopped fighting as soon as I saw Ruby. She was tiny and perfect, just like Poppy had been before her, another niece coming into my life when my life was in pieces, a new life was in this world while another was struggling to stay. That was what I wanted, what I had lost already once, I wanted my own baby, my own family, but, even though I had never said that to myself, I wanted it all with Lila. Lila who was in a coma.
"I'm going to take the handcuffs off, behave or next time I won't be able to be so indulgent." Reece told me, breaking into my thoughts.
I nodded, waited for have my hands free again, and sat on the sidewalk outside the hospital, feeling completely crashed. If Lila didn't survive I wouldn't either. I needed her, she was the good in me, the one that kept me sane and made me better. I brought my hands to my face, finding my cheeks wet, a strangled sob left me and there I was, crying. I pictured in my head Lila, lighting up like a Christmas tree when she saw me, laughing at my jokes, rolling her gorgeous eyes when I smoked, biting down on her lip when she painted with that pensive expression on her face, sleeping on me when she didn't like the movie I picked, my Lila happy. I couldn't bear the thought of losing all that, it twisted my stomach, it ripped my heart out of my chest, sending me into a misery that I couldn't beat.
"Travis." Jax sat next to me, patting my back.
"I don't know what to do." I sniffed, wiping my tears with the sleeve of my jacket, "If she dies..."
"She won't. You can't be negative, you have to react and be there for her when she'll wake up." He told me firmly, making it sound almost like an order.
I shook my head stubbornly, refusing to reason. "Didn't you hear them? They don't know. She in a fucking coma Jax, it's not good." I argued, my voice calming but still pained.
He let out a sigh that only proved me how right I was. "We can't know what's going to happen, all we can do is wait and hope for the best."
"I don't want to wait. I can't. I want her back with me now, forget this all happened. I can't stay without her." I went on, rambling, not even listening to myself to be honest.
"I know." He commented simply.
I turned my head, looking at my brother who was sharing my same pain. But he had a very good reason to be happy too. "Ruby is gorgeous." I told him. my voice creaking a little.
"She's waiting to meet you." He paused, probably reading me perfectly. He knew about my past, he knew about my present, he knew everything. "Whenever you're ready Trav."

Jax;

“What did Travis do? What was he talking about?” Colbie asked as I walked back into her room, feeling exhausted and sadder than I’d ever felt.
“Um. The man who hit Lila’s car was just brought in.” I replied. “Travis heard the doctors talking and went after him.”
“Oh my god.” She widened her eyes. “What happened?”
“He got him pinned up against a wall before Reece got to him. Honestly it was lucky he got there in time.”
Her mom scoffed. “Serves him right. He barely had a scrape.”
Colbs widened her eyes, looking surprised by her mom's words. “I’m sure it was an accident….” She trailed off.
“He was drunk Colbie.” I replied darkly.
“Did they arrest him!?” She shouted.
“Yes. He’s just here to get double checked, but honestly all he has are a few bruises.” I explained, trying not to wince.
She shook her head, “Does he know what he did!? Does he know my sister could NEVER wake up because of him?!” She kept shouting, looking angry and a little scary too.
“Colbie.” I came up to her and grabbed her hand as the tears left her face.
“Does he know that he could have hurt my baby!?” She cried harder.
“Ruby is fine Colbie…she’s right here.” Kolton stood up and put her back against her chest and Colbs clutched onto her, holding her tight as if to be sure she was really there.
“This is like a nightmare.” She whispered. “This isn’t how I wanted to bring our daughter into the world…..it should be a happy day.” She cried. “Now….whenever she has a birthday….if Lila…if.”
“Lila is going to be fine.” I said roughly. “She has to be.”
“Jax….” She cried desperately.
"Shhh." I sat on the bed, wrapping my arm around her and keeping her close as my other arm went to secure Ruby against us. "Everything is going to be fine."
"How do you know?" She sniffed, looking up at me with her blue eyes that looked like pool of tears, a look I never wanted to see on her face.
I stared at her as I reminded to myself who I was. I was the positive one, a man who thought everything was possible, one that never gave up. As sad as the circumstance was, we needed to keep hopeful. "I just do. I refuse to believe anything else. This is the worst part because we have to wait, but once it's over we'll be able to see Lila again and make her meet her niece." I told her seriously, ready to be strong enough for the both of us.
"I hope you're right." She breathed out and seemed to calm a little, out hands intertwined on top of our baby daughter.
"He is." Parker added, glancing at me. "There's no other way things could go."
She let out a sigh, looking exhausted. "How I'm supposed to take care of my baby with this thing on my wrist." She said as she glanced down at the cast.
"With me." I said without missing a beat. Then I felt heavy stares on me and I cleared my throat. "And with your family." I added.
"You don't have to worry about anything, we'll be here for you and Lila." Her mom said softly.
She nodded slowly, caressing Rubys head. "I feel exhausted. I wish I could just sleep and wake up and find Lila here with us too."
"It's going to happen sooner than you think." I kissed her forehead before taking our baby girl in my arms, "But you need to rest now."
"He's right." Parker commented shortly, giving her a look.
"But I don't want to." She protested.
Kolton shook his head, "You're so stubborn."
"Mom?" Will walked into the room unannounced, his smile huge and it was clear that no one had told me about Lila and it was better like this for now. "Mom!"
"Hi baby." She said softly and reared up again.
He went to hug her tight but frowned when he pulled back. "Are you okay? What's wrong?? Where's Ruby??"
I smiled at how cute he was, "She's here." I said from behind him.
He turned around and his face...was priceless. There was happiness, pride, love. "She's so tiny!!!" He exclaimed, clearly excited, his fingertip brushing up her nose carefully. Then he looked at me, "Wow. I'm a big brother."
"Yes you are and you know what it means." I told him softly, reminding him the conversations we had had in the past.
He grinned at nodded, "Can I hold her?" He asked and sounded as if he was begging.
"Be careful." I said as I moved Ruby from my arms to his.
"How do I look?!" He asked to his uncles.
"Perfect." Colbie's mom answered sweetly. "She's falling asleep in your arms, do you know what it means? She feels safe with you."
Safe. What was safe. Nothing felt safe right now, my mind kept going back to Lila.
"How did you get here?" Colbie asked, biting down on her lip and I could tell she was having a hard time keeping her emotions in check. Hell I was too.
"Adam, Liz, Mr and Mrs Cole. Rob had to stay home with Poppy...I'll have to stay home too sometimes to stay with Ruby." He said like the perfect young man he was, kissing his sisters forehead.
"Where are they?" Colbie's mom asked, furrowing her brows.
"Out the door." He answered but it was clear he was barely paying attention to us, too busy staring at Ruby.
I glanced at Colbs. Our families never met before. Of course they knew Rob, had seen maybe Adam and Liz once or twice, but never my parents.
"Mom does Ruby look like me?” Will asked, beaming with the kind of joy I wished we could all have right now. Colbs smiled softly and nodded.
“She does. That’s why she’s so pretty.” Kolton teased his nephew.
Will rolled his eyes. “Ha ha so funny, I’m pretty.” He said sarcastically, but he was still smiling. “At least she doesn’t look like you we’d all run away.”
Kolton choked out a laugh in spite of the situation.
“We should let Jax’s family come see the baby.” Their mom said softly, looking back at Kolton and Parker. They nodded but Will just sat down in the chair and looked lovingly into Ruby’s eyes.
“He can stay.” I said seriously, knowing we both needed the little ray of sunshine that was our son.
They all bent down to kiss Colbs and her mom kissed my cheek too which surprised me but pleased me at the same time. Then Adam and Liz came rushing in followed by my parents.
“Colbie.” Liz looked worriedly at her. “Oh my god your head.”
She lifted her hand up to where the stitches were against her hairline and winced. “Doesn’t even hurt.” She replied honestly.
“Probably only because the rest of you hurts.” Liz winced and then looked at her arm. “Oh sweetie.”
“Did they catch the guy?” Adam asked, his voice cold and looking a lot like Travis, which was something that didn't happen much.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Travis almost punched him out.”
“Good.” Adam added turning to find Will cooing at Ruby, completely oblivious to the conversation. “Ahh look at her.” He smiled, being the Adam we knew better.
“Oh Will your sister is so little.” Liz squealed, the baby again being the light in a time of such darkness.
“She’s perfect.” Will said proudly. “Do you want to hold her?” Liz nodded and Will handed over Ruby who seemed to enjoy all the attention rather than be annoyed by it.
“Is Trav alright?” Our mom asked, her face full of concern about him while Adam and Liz were occupied with the baby.
“How could he be?” I asked, lost because I didn't know what to do, I wasn't even sure if there was somethinkg I could actually do. “But everything will be okay.”
“What do you mean?” Will asked.
Colbs swallowed and I let her take the decision to say the truth to our boy. “Will, Lila and I were in a car accident before I had the baby.”
Will nodded. “Yeah, Mr. Cole told me you hurt your wrist but you’re okay.” He said, pointing to her hand.
“I’m fine baby, just a little banged up. But Lila is hurt.”
Will widened his eyes. “What do you mean hurt?” He asked, worry creasing his forehead.
“Will Lila is in a coma. Her brain was hurt during the surgery to repair what happened in the accident.” She explained.
He blinked. “A coma….like she’s not waking up? Can’t they just wake her up? What do you mean her brain isn’t working?” He asked frantically, backing up against the wall.
“I wish we could just wake her up baby.” Colbs said, the tears falling again.
“I don’t believe you!” Will shouted, running from the room and into his grandma's arms where she was waiting at the doorway. “Grandma where’s Aunt Lila?”
“Oh baby…she’s hurt.” She admitted.
Will’s eyes started to tear. “Hurt like Grandpa?” The tears came more freely now in front of me and her whole family as her son started to realize what was going on.
“We don’t know that yet.” Mom said, her own voice laced with grief.
“You’re wrong! Lila is a safe driver!” Will shouted. “And Coach Travis would never let anything bad happen to her!! And it’s Ruby’s birthday!! So nothing bad can happen!”
“Will.” My voice rang through the noise and I walked to talk to Will by the door. I couldn't see him like this, it was breaking my heart.
“You’re wrong. Lila is healthy.” Will cried and then ran into my arms, burying his head into my chest.
I caught him, holding him tight. “Sometimes bad things happen even when good things have. And you’re right Lila is a very safe driver, and Travis would always try to protect her when he could. But they were hit by a driver who wasn’t following the rules or being safe. There was nothing any of us could have done.” My words were low and calm even though I felt none of those things.
“It’s not fair.” Will cried. “She has to meet Ruby.”
I rubbed his back, realizing how hard it was to be someone's rock when I needed a rock myself. But I was a father now, honestly I had been since Will had decided I was good enough for him. "She will. You don't have to worry kid, she's a tough girl, she'll wake up." I reassured him.
He looked up at me, his eyes still full of tears, "But-"
"No buts." I cut him off gently, "We have to believe in that. Be strong."
"Okay." He said in a whisper, nodding and wiping his eyes. "I don't want to leave the hospital though. I want to stay here with you mom and Ruby until aunt Lila is okay."
I glanced at Colbie, because I couldn't blame him. The situation was complicated though and I didn't want him to be under so much pressure. "You have school tomorrow." I said slowly, guessing that keeping his life as normal as possible could be a nice way.
"We can pick you tomorrow morning." Adam suggested, surprising me because Liz was usually the brain of the family, the planner. She was the one wearing pants most of the time and Adam was always happy to let her.
"Mom I don't want to go." He protested, walking to Colbs and holding her hand.
"I know baby, but you have to do this for me." She said sweetly, caressing his hair but I could tell she was having a hard time controlling herself. Did I want Will to see his mom losing it and getting even more scared? No.
"Listen to your mom...don't you know that moms are the wisest?" Liz told me in the same soothing voice she used with Poppy as she glanced at Ruby who was still in her arms, "We make babies and we know what's the best for them."
He let out a deep sigh, but he seemed to calm a little. "Can I sleep here?" He tried and this time I didn't know what to do. I wanted to be with him, I wanted to be with Colbs too, then again I didn't think it was even possible.
"I think it's against the rules." I said slowly. His face dropped and I thought fast. "Listen, you can stay here today as long as you can, then you decide where to sleep. With Rob, with Grandma, with your uncles, wherever you want. And tomorrow I'll come pick you at school and we'll come back to mom, okay?"
"Can I think about it?" He asked, uncertainly.
I nodded and my father walked over us, dropping a hand on his shoulder, "Come on son, let's go get some fresh air."
"Yeah, that's be good." He nodded but she walked over Colbs and Ruby, kissing both of them. "I'll be right back."
"Okay baby." Colbie told him softly and as soon as they left the room with Adam tagging along she sighed. "I hope they won't run into Travis."
"You just read my mind." I told her, wondering where my brother was and promising to myself I'd go check on him later.
"I'm sorry this is happening." Mom sat next to Colbie, squeezing her hands and tears veiling her own eyes. "But everything will be fine eventually, I can feel it."
"I can see where Jax's positivity comes from." She forced a small smile, "Thank you."
"If there's anything we can do sweetie all you have to do is ask. You're part of our family, Lila too. And I'm glad my boys found you." She leaned over to kiss her forehead like moms always did while I tried not to cry myself. Travis and I were fucking lucky and it wasn't going to change. "You made us a beautiful granddaughter."
“She is beautiful.” Colbs nodded, the tears falling.
“I think it would be best if we let Colbie rest.” I said, turning to the family gathered here.
“Good idea.” Liz agreed, kissing Ruby’s head and handing her back into her mom's arms.
Colbs looked down at her sweet angelic face and brushed back the little hairs from her forehead. “Do you want to take a nap with mom pretty girl?” She asked softly. Ruby wiggled and yawned, making me smile down at her. “I’ll take it as a yes.” I replied, standing up.
“Jax don’t leave.” Colbs said, grabbing my arm and keeping me in place.
“I’m just going to say goodbye to everyone and make sure you have some alone time. I’ll be right back.” I said softly, kissing my mouth before ushering everyone out of her room, but I still heard her whispering to our daughter.
“Let’s pray for auntie Lila okay baby girl?”

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