"Maybe I shouldn't go." I frowned at Lila as my eyes took her in, her tiny body covered by my duvet and her own eyes on the TV screen while she watched Charmed and ate popcorns. She looked comfortable in my bed but I'd be lying to myself if I said that her face was back to her usual color. She was still pale and even though she was much better now she was still taking a lot of meds and her body hadn't recovered yet.
She rolled her eyes at me, too focused on that silly show she loved so much for reasons I couldn't ever possibly comprehend. "Just go Trav. Have fun, I'll be okay!" She repeated what she had told me already a few times during the past hour.
I sat next to her while finishing buttoning my shirt, "I have fun with you, always. And I don't like the idea of leaving you home alone." I said seriously.
"We already talked about this." She turned to shot me a glare but as soon as her eyes met mine they softened immediately. "It's Nate's birthday, you have to go and spend the night out with your friends."
She rolled her eyes at me, too focused on that silly show she loved so much for reasons I couldn't ever possibly comprehend. "Just go Trav. Have fun, I'll be okay!" She repeated what she had told me already a few times during the past hour.
I sat next to her while finishing buttoning my shirt, "I have fun with you, always. And I don't like the idea of leaving you home alone." I said seriously.
"We already talked about this." She turned to shot me a glare but as soon as her eyes met mine they softened immediately. "It's Nate's birthday, you have to go and spend the night out with your friends."
"You could come with me...we'd only have to say hi and come back home." I tried to convince her, fully aware that making her go out wasn't exactly the best idea but I wasn't thinking straight. Truth was, I was too scared to leave her alone, I had never had since the accident, except for when I had known one of her brothers or mine would come over.
She shook her head stubbornly, pausing the annoying witches before cupping my cheek. "I can't come with you. You didn't even let me leave the house for the past week, you can't possibly want me to come to a club now."
I shrugged nonchalantly, not wanting to admit she was right. "We were outside just earlier today." I retorted in a lame attempt to prove my point.
She raised one eyebrow at me, looking somehow amused. "We were in your backyard Trav, I'm not sure if that counts." She teased me, getting a groan out of me. "You're not even working, you're always here with me...you need to see your friends and have a night out."
"But-" I started but she cut me off.
Placing a finger on my lips, she smiled at me. "I'll be fine." She said softly.
I gave in, "I'll be back super soon." I said and my words sounded like a promise. "And if you need me or need anything really just call me, please." I paused, "Maybe I should move you to the couch downstairs in case you need to go to the kitchen or something."
"Travis I can walk down the fucking stairs, just go!!!" She almost laughed, making fun of me as if I was a mad man. I didn't even care. I just wanted her to be safe.
I took a deep breath. "I love you baby." I kissed her lips, cupping her cheek and letting my mouth linger on hers.
She smiled against my lips, finally making me relax a little. "I love you." She replied before furrowing her brows. "You're driving, right?" She asked me a second later and fear flashed into her eyes, my calm evaporating one more time.
"Lila..." I trailed off, frowning once again. I hated that she felt like this. Hated it. But I fully intended to fix that too.
"Just be careful okay?" She forced a smile, then pushed me gently away.
"I promise."
----------------
I lost count of how many shots I did after the third maybe. What was supposed to be a normal night out to celebrate Nate's birthday turned out to be a massive party that most of people wouldn't remember tomorrow. There was too much alcohol and too much everything, but even though I was admittedly having fun I still felt that worry bugging me.
"Another round?" Zoe appeared out of nowhere, a big ass grin on her red lips as her eyes stared at me.
"Nah I'm fine." I shook my head, deciding against it. I didn't want to get wasted and I had already drunk enough. I was walking the thin line between tipsy and drunk, which was already more than I had intended to be when this night had started.
She pouted at me, blinking innocently but I knew her better than that. "Please?"
I reached for my phone, checking if Lila had answered to my texts...nothing. Maybe she fell asleep? It was kind of late. But. Maybe she didn't feel well. I'd know if something happened to her though, right? What if she fell from the damn stairs? The more I thought about the possibilities the more anxious I grew, even though everything happened in a few seconds and in my mind only. "No. I'm going back home to Lila. Have fun." I muttered, walking past her and staring at my phone obsessively though I thought I heard Zoe say I was no fun anymore. Who cared.
As soon as I walked out of the club I reached for the keys of my car, then Lila's words played in my mind. Be careful. Even when she wasn't with me, she always was.
Before I could realize it I was sitting in a cab, the damn driver took forever to take me home and I was just tempted to flip as the ride began incredibly long. And that fear I got to know seeing my baby half dead was eating me alive. I didn't even know how many times I tried to call her, she never picked her phone.
Once I was in my home I nearly ran up the stairs, straight to my bedroom. Lila wasn't in my bed. Fuck. Fuck. Where was she? Was she fine? I shouldn't have left her alone. I was a fucking idiot. As I played all the possible scenarios in my head I headed back outside, only to remember I couldn't even fucking drive. But mostly, where was she? I didn't even know where to look for her. Jax? I could easily walk to his place, while calling him. And I did, only that idiot of my brother didn't answer, which only made me feel worse.
I found myself walking by Lila's house and I noticed that the lights are on. What? Why? Maybe she went to her place because she was an infuriating stubborn woman who couldn't listen to me when I told her not to leave my house...the little anger I felt was suddenly replaced by fear again. Did she make it to her house only to pass out somewhere, hit her head and die? I was delirious at this point and I was acting before thinking, my hand opening the door of her house hurriedly while my feet marched fast to her bedroom already. I felt disconnected.
I stopped in my tracks when I heard her laugh. I'd say I was allucinating but I hadn't drunk that much. When I stepped into her room what I saw was something I wasn't prepared to. Lila, laying down in her bed and fucking Riley sitting next to her.
"Trav-" She blinked at me as soon as she acknowledged me.
I tried to wrap my head around this as I did my best not to get to wrong conclusions. She wasn't answering her phone and she wasn't in my bed. She was in hers. With that idiot. Laughing while I was worried sick. "What are you doing here?! And what the fuck is he doing here too?" My voice boomed into her room as all the anxiety turned into a feeling I knew too well. Anger. The kind of anger that blinded me.
"Fuck" Lila said under her breath, knowing that this would not go over well.
"I'm just making sure she's doing okay." Riley said, holding his hands up even though he was glaring at me. How did he even dare.
"By making her walk the fuck over here when she shouldn't even be out of bed?!" I argued, my voice a notch too loud already.
"That's a little dramatic Trav." She replied, glaring herself, not because it would intimidate me, but because she didn't think I was pissed off enough aparently.
"You were suppossed to be home!!!!" I shouted.
"Dude, this IS her home!" Riley shouted back, standing up.
"I tried to call you a million times!" I ignored him and focues on Lila only who looked clueless.
She widened her eyes, grabbing her phone out of her purse. "I'm sorry Trav I didn't know, my phone died. I wouldn't have ignored you on purpose." She said seriously. I didn't care much for her excuses though.
"What the fuck is even going on?!" I demanded.
"Look I called her! I heard about the accident and I just needed to see her-" That Riley said as if I was talking to him. I wasn't.
"Why!?" I roared.
"Because she's my friend!" He shook his head. "He's drunk." He said to her under his breath.
"I'm not deaf though." I replied.
"This isn't him drunk." She sighed. "Drunk would be worse." I basically growled at her. "Look baby, I'm sorry that you couldn't reach me or find me. I'm sure that was frustrating. But I thought you'd be gone for a few more hours at least, and it would have been weird to invite Riley to your place." She shrugged.
"As weird as me finding both of you in your bed?" I shouted, so mad I was going crazy.
"Don't be fucking dramatic man, she needed to lie down and I was just sitting next to her."
I just stared at Riley and shook my head. "We're going home."
"This IS her home!" Riley said again.
"Riley stop." She sighed.
"No Lila, this is bullshit. Is this why you fell for him? Do you enjoy being yelled at and bossed around?" That moron said, picking the worst words.
"It's better than having a man follow her around like a lost puppy like you did." I spat back.
"Travis!" She yelled.
"Is that what you told him about us?" Riley asked, looking over at her with a pissed off and hurt expression. Ha. I was right.
"Of course I didn't." She sighed.
"Because that's not what I remember." He smirked as he folded his arms over his chest. "What I remember is Lila calling me whenever she was lonely."
I slowly took a step towards him. He had no idea of how dangerous the game he was trying to play was, he wasn't smart enough to play it. "I would shut your mouth now if I were you." I said in a low voice.
"Or else what?" Riley asked. "You'll growl at her some more? Yell at your sick girlfriend? I mean you could take a punch at me but I'm pretty sure I could take you."
I grinned and Lila shook her head. "Um no. Travis used to fight. A lot. It's not happening." She got up slowly. "Come on Travis we can go."
"I just got here Lila." Riley replied, though he wasn't looking at her. He was looking at me, challening me.
"I'm sorry." She shook her head and grabbed my arm, pulling me towards the door.
"Stay away from her." I growled.
"No." Riley replied.
I pulled back. He was so fucking arrogant. "I fucking mean it. You've got her thinking you're just her friend but I know better."
Riley shook his head. "Why she chose you I'll never understand. But it won't be permanent. And I'm going to be the one she runs to when she realizes what a mistake you are."
That was it. I had waited enough. I lunged, punching him square in the face. That felt good.
"TRAVIS!!!" Lila cried but I ignored her.
Riley wiped the blood off his nose and smirked. "Is that the best you got?" He laughed. "You might be too pussy to meet her brothers but I wasn't. Her youngest one can shoot a better punch than you and I got it from each of them."
"RILEY SERIOUSLY SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Lil shouted. But he was already lunging for me, but I easily swerved out of the way and knocked him on his ass a moment later.
"Okay you proved you can take him now lets go!!!" She kept shouting.
"Fuck that." Riley said standing up and starting to lunge again but she jumped in between the two of us, holding her hands out.
"KEEP IT UP AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!!" She shouted, looking at both of them with fury. I wasn't impressed and I still wanted to kill that skinny jerk. "This is ridiculous!!!" Riley, we've been over this. I love Travis. He is it for me. You have a girlfriend for fucks sake, what the hell are you fighting for me for?!"
Riley wiped his face and shrugged. "I don't like him Lila."
"You don't need to like him. I love him and that's all that should matter to you if you really are my friend." She replied, ignoring me snort behind her.
"And you!! I get that this isn't what you wanted to walk into but you don't get to beat up my ex just because he says a few annoying things!"
"I-" I started. Unfortunately she had this awful habit of cutting me off.
"You're mad. I get it. It's nothing new. But if you want to fight? Find a gym." She shook her head and sighed. "Grow the fuck up. Both of you!" She took a deep breath and held her head. "Can someone get me some water?"
"Lil." I said in a shaky voice as soon as my eyes spotted the blood on her shirt which was too much to be from Riley's nose. "Baby you're bleeding."
"Oh her god." Riley widened his eyes looking at her shirt too.
"I think...." She groaned. "I think stepping between you ripped my stitches..." She trailed off, listening to both of us curse.
"Do something fucking useful and call 911!" Travis shouted, feeling out of control again but for a totally different reason. A good one. A bad one. Dear god.
"NO!" She sighed. "They'll see his face and know it was some kind of fight...just...take me to the hospital." I nodded and stepped up. "NOT YOU!" She shouted. "You've been drinking." She groaned. "Fuck..." She whispered, looking as if she could pass out any moment.
I reached for her tiny body before she could fell, air leaving my lungs as her very pale face was close to me. It was like living a déjàvu, I kept seeing her dead, just like in my nightmares. "Baby, we're taking you to the hospital okay? Just don't pass out, stay with me." I managed to say, my voice panicked, before I glanced up at that idiot that at least had the decency to look worried. This was all his fault. "Did you drive here?" I asked him even though the last thing I wanted to do was to sit in a car with him.
"Yeah sure. Let's hurry." He nodded quickly, not looking so brave and arrogant anymore.
I carried Lila outside, keeping her against me as we all headed to the car. "Trav, everything is spinning. I don't want to get into the car." She confessed in a whisper, her voice full of...terror. No. It couldn't be.
"Don't worry baby I got you." I tried to reassure her as we got into the car and I felt her gripping my shirt with the little force she had.
"You know I'm an excellent driver." Riley said as he started driving, making me want to kick his face so that he'd keep his mouth shut.
Lila nodded, her face nestled in my chest and her eyes barely open. I looked down at her stained top, the sight of blood making me want to rip the cloth off to see where it was coming from, I wanted to see if this was bad, how bad it was. It wasn't good, I already knew that.
---
A few hours, a few new stitches and a broken nose later we were back to my house and I was back to a decent mindset. It had turned out that Lila was better than I had thought, the doctor had said that mostly now she couldn't absolutely leave the bed and I was grateful for that because maybe now she'd listen, instead of sneaking out with fucking Riley.
As the cab driver dropped us I led Lila upstairs, back to the room she had escaped from, and I let go of her hand to give her a change of clothes. Now that I was less worried, I was mad again, but I knew better than yelling and fighting when she was hurt.
"I'm going to sleep in the guest room." Her voice broke into the silence.
I turned my head to her, her words alone making me want to punch something all over again. I was painfully sober now and I needed to let out all my frustration, only it'd have to wait tomorrow. "No. You're sleeping with me." I said as I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible.
"I-" She started.
"There's not even a bed in the guest room." I cut her off before she could say something that'd piss me off even more. "If you don't want to sleep with me I can sleep on the couch." I added even though I knew that wasn't going to happen either.
"It's your bed." She replied flatly as if that explained everything.
I took my clothes off, ignoring her and getting into a pair of sweats before laying down, waiting for her to do the same. I was tempted to help her get undressed but I honestly didn't trust myself around her now, it was already hard to bite my tongue. I was scared to hurt her too.
She sighed but eventually joined me, her body on the opposite side of the bed and now even a part of us touching. I wasn't stupid, I knew she was pissed off, but she really had no reason to while I had plenty. "So you're just going to keep quiet?" She asked after a few moments.
"The doctor said you need to rest so I'm letting you rest." I replied like an asshole, rolling onto my side.
"You're not even touching me." She went on.
I closed my eyes and started to count to one million, knowing I couldn't afford talking to her right now. I wanted to hold her, make her feel better, but I also wanted to scream at her for leaving my house when she was supposed to be on fucking bed rest, for not even telling me she was going to her damn house or that she'd meet that fucking Riley, for not answering at the phone and making me worry to the point I was going insane. "I'm afraid to hurt you." I answered eventually and at least I was being honest.
"You would never hurt me." Lila said seriously.
I turned to her, keeping all my feelings in check. Her name was the only thing I was able to say without exploding. "Lila."
"Look I know you're angry at me-"
"Go to sleep." I cut her off, well aware I couldn't talk right now without making damage.
"No listen to me! What happened tonight was ridiculous!" She started.
"You think!?" I shot up, my hands going through my hair and swallowed, losing all my control. "Why the fuck did you even do that?!"
"Riley is my friend."
"You heard what he said." I said under my breath. He wasn't her friend, never had been.
"Oh and your ex would never even think about getting you back right? No she just calls you every single day!!! You don't get to act like the jealous boyfriend over this Travis. For one? It doesn't suit you. And for another? You know you have nothing to be jealous about!!!"
"Just because I'm not jealous doesn't mean I want you sneaking off to see him!!!" I argued.
"I wasn't sneaking off! I would have told you about my night when you were telling me about yours that's what a couple does!!!"
"A COUPLE?! As half of that couple you should have told me where the fuck you were going before you tore your damn stitches walking over there!!!" I shouted, wanting her to see why I was so mad.
"I tore my stitches because the two of you were acting like you were 15 all over again." She remided me. Okay, point taken, but still.
"Lil-"
She held her hand up and I growled. She knew I hated being interrupted. "I know he provoked you. But you're a grown ass man Travis."
"Lila. I can't talk about this right now." I said in a tone of false calm.
"Fine. Goodnight." She said, turning her light off and lying back down.
I let out a deep sigh as I opened my eyes again, staring at the darkness. I was still mad, but now I was slowly wondering if I had to. Yes I did. I had all the right reasons to be mad. And still. I didn't like falling asleep without resolving an argument with my girl, I was sure I couldn't even if I tried. I listened to Lila's breathing becoming regular and I slowly scooted closer to her, draping my arm across her stomach as I spooned her carefully. I didn't want to wake her but I didn't want to have her far either.
"Travis." She muttered.
"I'm hurting you? Sorry I didn't want to wake you." I whispered, my words honest as I started to pull away.
She stopped me as she grabbed my hand, keeping me in place. "No...and I wasn't sleeping." She said back in a quiet tone.
"Okay." I nodded and nuzzled her neck, needing to feel her warm and alive against me.
"I'm still mad." She added a moment later.
"So I am." I answered back, I didn't want to argue anymore though.
She shifted against me just so slightly, leaning her back against my chest. "I'm not going to apologize." She said firmly yet quietly.
I sighed because of course she wasn't going to. I wasn't either though. "Can you at least see why I'm mad?" I asked her, trying to be as calm and reasonable as possible.
"Honestly? Not really." She answered simply, making me want to groan. But I didn't.
"Listen baby, I know I might have reacted in the wrong way-"
"Oh you might have?!" She cut me off. "You broke Riley's nose Travis."
"Let me talk and let's leave him out of this." I said back seriously and when she finally kept quiet I went on. "I know we usually don't say everything to each other right away, and that's fine for us, it always worked. But right now we're not in a normal situation, you're recovering from a car accident that got you in a coma for three days and I didn't even want to leave you home alone. When you didn't answer the phone and I couldn't find you....I panicked, okay? In my mind I went through all the possible scenarios and they were all bad because I thought you didn't feel well, that you fell and got hurt, that you were half dead again." I confessed honestly and, without even realizing, held her tighter, my legs tangling with hers. "So okay, don't apologize but at least understand why I lost it."
"I can apologize for ever causing you fear or pain. I would never do that on purpose." Lila said seriously, squeezing my hand.
"You didn't even call to tell me where you were going." I argued quietly.
"Because I knew you'd think I was too weak, and I know you don't exactly like Riley." She said back.
"So you knew you were doing something wrong." I said, set on proving my point no matter what.
She shook her head. "No. I knew I was doing something that YOU wouldn't like. It wasn't wrong."
"You tore your stitches."
"Which had nothing to do with walking down the street." She reminded me, not bringing up the fight again because it was useless. We both remembered.
"You should have told me." I sighed.
"I should have told you where I was going you're right. And I should have made sure my phone was charged so I could have eased your fear earlier." She turned in my arms and held my face. "But babe, I came back to you from a coma. You're stuck with me no matter what."
"Mmm." I mumbled nuzzling into her neck. "Is that an apology? I didn't hear it."
She pulled back and almost laughed. "I'm sorry." She shook her head. "Silly man. But I'm not sorry for doing it. Just sorry I didn't tell you."
"Stubborn woman." I growled, but still held her closer.
"You know beating Riley up isn't going to make him like you more."
"I don't give a fuck if I likes me." I snapped.
"He's my-"
"I swear Lil say friend and see what happens." I narrowed my eyes.
"When did you meet Karlie?" She asked softly, trying to ease the edge on her voice she had whenever she spoke about her. I noticed that kind of things and I appreciated them.
"College. We were in the same freshman english class." I answered, wondering where she was going with that.
"So you were 18?" She asked and I nodded. "That's a long time to be with someone. I met Riley when I was 3." She reasoned. "He was basically part of my family Trav."
"You don't date your family." I pointed out. Family was another thing. He wasn't family.
"No. But it is a little harder to cut him out of my life. We know everything about each other. We were there for some of the biggest parts of our lives. And now I barely see him. He just wanted to make sure I was okay in person."
"Then you should have brought jim here." I responded, keeping my anger at bay because the thought alone of him with her in my house made me want to kick faces.
"You're right. It just felt weird to bring him to your house, but it shouldn't be."
"You heard what he said. He still has feelings for you." I reminded her.
She shook her head. "Feelings that anyone would have after being with someone off and on for years. He's never seen me in love with someone before...and admittedly you're not the kind of guy I've ever been interested in."
"Yeah right you went for boring." I muttered under my breath, shaking my head. "That's bullshit. I wasn't your type so what?! You love me so that doesn't even matter anymore, truth is he wouldn't like me even if I were your type."
"We won't ever know that." She said back in an attempt to joke but I wasn't laughing.
I groaned as I buried my face against her neck. "He wants you and I don't trust him around you." I admitted against her soft skin. Maybe that wasn't the right timing to bring that up but what the hell, we were talking.
She tangled her fingers with my hair. "But you trust me, right?"
"Of course I do." I answered quickly because I didn't even need to think about that. And to be completely honest why would she go to someone else when she had me? "That doesn't change anything though." I added a moment later, "You heard him, he'll just wait and hope for you to dump me and run to him."
"But it's never going to happen." She said softly, forcing me to pull my head back to plant a small kiss on my lips.
"I know that." I softened. For a second. "The problem is that he doesn't and he should know instead. We've been together for a while now, still he doesn't understand that you're mine now. Maybe it's because he's stupid."
"Travis." She slapped my nape, her tone serious. "He's not stupid."
"Yeah yeah." I dismissed her. I knew she was right though. "But I'm smarter."
"Yup, that's why I'm with you. Your brain." She chucked at her own joke which I ignored. She was with me for so many reasons, just as many as the reasons why I was with her after almost three years. I couldn't believe it, but mostly I couldn't believe that I actually wanted to spend with her the rest of my life.
"Lil, I'm not asking you to stop seeing him-"
"You're so not because I wouldn't, not just because you told me." She cut me off, a habit I hated.
"That's exactly why I'm not asking you, because I know you'd see him anyway." I paused, dead serious. "But I am asking you to tell me whenever you're with him, just like I always tell you when I'm with Karlie."
"That's fair." Lila finally agreed. "I should have called you tonight....you're just being so overprotective.."
"For good reason." I pointed out.
"Travis I broke her stitches breaking up a fight. Not walking to my house."
I narrowed my eyes."That wasn't my fault."
"I know." She agreed.
"What?" I rose a brow at her and she smiled.
"I'm not angry at you for what you did. You were fighting for me and he provoked you. It was a little immature but you've been through a lot lately and I don't blame you for that. Plus Riley was really fucking stupid to think he could take you." I smirked and she rolled her eyes. "That wasn't a compliment. Just a fact."
"I'm not going to stop being overprotective." I replied.
"Well now you have a damn doctors note saying you can so I'm just going to have to deal with it." She sighed.
"That's right." I agreed.
She pushed her fingers through my hair and looked at me. "I'm yours you know. Always."
"You better." I replied seriously then kissed her lips, feeling content enough for how the night had turned. Sure I wasn't happy about Lila's health, but we had been able to resolve a fight without jumping at each other's throat.
She kissed me back and sighed. "That's not the answer I was hoping for." She muttered as she nuzzled my chest, her hands holding onto me. She felt so tiny in my hold.
I just shrugged as I played with her hair, relaxing and getting a little sleepy too.
"What's that look on your face?" She asked a moment later, peeking up at me.
"Mhm?" I questioned in a mutter, looking down at her with a brow raised.
"You have a smug expression plastered on your face." She pointed out.
Oh. That. "You agreed to most of the things I said, told me I was right kicking Riley's a-" I stopped mid-sentence when her hand covered my mouth.
"I did not say that. You're pushing it now." She protested but a smile was playing on her lips. The storm was gone, thank god.
I held her tighter, needing to feel her against me more than anything else. I also wondered when we could have sex again but I pushed the thought aside. She wasn't ready for that just yet. "Maybe." I nibbled her palm then kissed it. "Goodnight baby."
She shook her head stubbornly, pausing the annoying witches before cupping my cheek. "I can't come with you. You didn't even let me leave the house for the past week, you can't possibly want me to come to a club now."
I shrugged nonchalantly, not wanting to admit she was right. "We were outside just earlier today." I retorted in a lame attempt to prove my point.
She raised one eyebrow at me, looking somehow amused. "We were in your backyard Trav, I'm not sure if that counts." She teased me, getting a groan out of me. "You're not even working, you're always here with me...you need to see your friends and have a night out."
"But-" I started but she cut me off.
Placing a finger on my lips, she smiled at me. "I'll be fine." She said softly.
I gave in, "I'll be back super soon." I said and my words sounded like a promise. "And if you need me or need anything really just call me, please." I paused, "Maybe I should move you to the couch downstairs in case you need to go to the kitchen or something."
"Travis I can walk down the fucking stairs, just go!!!" She almost laughed, making fun of me as if I was a mad man. I didn't even care. I just wanted her to be safe.
I took a deep breath. "I love you baby." I kissed her lips, cupping her cheek and letting my mouth linger on hers.
She smiled against my lips, finally making me relax a little. "I love you." She replied before furrowing her brows. "You're driving, right?" She asked me a second later and fear flashed into her eyes, my calm evaporating one more time.
"Lila..." I trailed off, frowning once again. I hated that she felt like this. Hated it. But I fully intended to fix that too.
"Just be careful okay?" She forced a smile, then pushed me gently away.
"I promise."
----------------
I lost count of how many shots I did after the third maybe. What was supposed to be a normal night out to celebrate Nate's birthday turned out to be a massive party that most of people wouldn't remember tomorrow. There was too much alcohol and too much everything, but even though I was admittedly having fun I still felt that worry bugging me.
"Another round?" Zoe appeared out of nowhere, a big ass grin on her red lips as her eyes stared at me.
"Nah I'm fine." I shook my head, deciding against it. I didn't want to get wasted and I had already drunk enough. I was walking the thin line between tipsy and drunk, which was already more than I had intended to be when this night had started.
She pouted at me, blinking innocently but I knew her better than that. "Please?"
I reached for my phone, checking if Lila had answered to my texts...nothing. Maybe she fell asleep? It was kind of late. But. Maybe she didn't feel well. I'd know if something happened to her though, right? What if she fell from the damn stairs? The more I thought about the possibilities the more anxious I grew, even though everything happened in a few seconds and in my mind only. "No. I'm going back home to Lila. Have fun." I muttered, walking past her and staring at my phone obsessively though I thought I heard Zoe say I was no fun anymore. Who cared.
As soon as I walked out of the club I reached for the keys of my car, then Lila's words played in my mind. Be careful. Even when she wasn't with me, she always was.
Before I could realize it I was sitting in a cab, the damn driver took forever to take me home and I was just tempted to flip as the ride began incredibly long. And that fear I got to know seeing my baby half dead was eating me alive. I didn't even know how many times I tried to call her, she never picked her phone.
Once I was in my home I nearly ran up the stairs, straight to my bedroom. Lila wasn't in my bed. Fuck. Fuck. Where was she? Was she fine? I shouldn't have left her alone. I was a fucking idiot. As I played all the possible scenarios in my head I headed back outside, only to remember I couldn't even fucking drive. But mostly, where was she? I didn't even know where to look for her. Jax? I could easily walk to his place, while calling him. And I did, only that idiot of my brother didn't answer, which only made me feel worse.
I found myself walking by Lila's house and I noticed that the lights are on. What? Why? Maybe she went to her place because she was an infuriating stubborn woman who couldn't listen to me when I told her not to leave my house...the little anger I felt was suddenly replaced by fear again. Did she make it to her house only to pass out somewhere, hit her head and die? I was delirious at this point and I was acting before thinking, my hand opening the door of her house hurriedly while my feet marched fast to her bedroom already. I felt disconnected.
I stopped in my tracks when I heard her laugh. I'd say I was allucinating but I hadn't drunk that much. When I stepped into her room what I saw was something I wasn't prepared to. Lila, laying down in her bed and fucking Riley sitting next to her.
"Trav-" She blinked at me as soon as she acknowledged me.
I tried to wrap my head around this as I did my best not to get to wrong conclusions. She wasn't answering her phone and she wasn't in my bed. She was in hers. With that idiot. Laughing while I was worried sick. "What are you doing here?! And what the fuck is he doing here too?" My voice boomed into her room as all the anxiety turned into a feeling I knew too well. Anger. The kind of anger that blinded me.
"Fuck" Lila said under her breath, knowing that this would not go over well.
"I'm just making sure she's doing okay." Riley said, holding his hands up even though he was glaring at me. How did he even dare.
"By making her walk the fuck over here when she shouldn't even be out of bed?!" I argued, my voice a notch too loud already.
"That's a little dramatic Trav." She replied, glaring herself, not because it would intimidate me, but because she didn't think I was pissed off enough aparently.
"You were suppossed to be home!!!!" I shouted.
"Dude, this IS her home!" Riley shouted back, standing up.
"I tried to call you a million times!" I ignored him and focues on Lila only who looked clueless.
She widened her eyes, grabbing her phone out of her purse. "I'm sorry Trav I didn't know, my phone died. I wouldn't have ignored you on purpose." She said seriously. I didn't care much for her excuses though.
"What the fuck is even going on?!" I demanded.
"Look I called her! I heard about the accident and I just needed to see her-" That Riley said as if I was talking to him. I wasn't.
"Why!?" I roared.
"Because she's my friend!" He shook his head. "He's drunk." He said to her under his breath.
"I'm not deaf though." I replied.
"This isn't him drunk." She sighed. "Drunk would be worse." I basically growled at her. "Look baby, I'm sorry that you couldn't reach me or find me. I'm sure that was frustrating. But I thought you'd be gone for a few more hours at least, and it would have been weird to invite Riley to your place." She shrugged.
"As weird as me finding both of you in your bed?" I shouted, so mad I was going crazy.
"Don't be fucking dramatic man, she needed to lie down and I was just sitting next to her."
I just stared at Riley and shook my head. "We're going home."
"This IS her home!" Riley said again.
"Riley stop." She sighed.
"No Lila, this is bullshit. Is this why you fell for him? Do you enjoy being yelled at and bossed around?" That moron said, picking the worst words.
"It's better than having a man follow her around like a lost puppy like you did." I spat back.
"Travis!" She yelled.
"Is that what you told him about us?" Riley asked, looking over at her with a pissed off and hurt expression. Ha. I was right.
"Of course I didn't." She sighed.
"Because that's not what I remember." He smirked as he folded his arms over his chest. "What I remember is Lila calling me whenever she was lonely."
I slowly took a step towards him. He had no idea of how dangerous the game he was trying to play was, he wasn't smart enough to play it. "I would shut your mouth now if I were you." I said in a low voice.
"Or else what?" Riley asked. "You'll growl at her some more? Yell at your sick girlfriend? I mean you could take a punch at me but I'm pretty sure I could take you."
I grinned and Lila shook her head. "Um no. Travis used to fight. A lot. It's not happening." She got up slowly. "Come on Travis we can go."
"I just got here Lila." Riley replied, though he wasn't looking at her. He was looking at me, challening me.
"I'm sorry." She shook her head and grabbed my arm, pulling me towards the door.
"Stay away from her." I growled.
"No." Riley replied.
I pulled back. He was so fucking arrogant. "I fucking mean it. You've got her thinking you're just her friend but I know better."
Riley shook his head. "Why she chose you I'll never understand. But it won't be permanent. And I'm going to be the one she runs to when she realizes what a mistake you are."
That was it. I had waited enough. I lunged, punching him square in the face. That felt good.
"TRAVIS!!!" Lila cried but I ignored her.
Riley wiped the blood off his nose and smirked. "Is that the best you got?" He laughed. "You might be too pussy to meet her brothers but I wasn't. Her youngest one can shoot a better punch than you and I got it from each of them."
"RILEY SERIOUSLY SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Lil shouted. But he was already lunging for me, but I easily swerved out of the way and knocked him on his ass a moment later.
"Okay you proved you can take him now lets go!!!" She kept shouting.
"Fuck that." Riley said standing up and starting to lunge again but she jumped in between the two of us, holding her hands out.
"KEEP IT UP AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!!" She shouted, looking at both of them with fury. I wasn't impressed and I still wanted to kill that skinny jerk. "This is ridiculous!!!" Riley, we've been over this. I love Travis. He is it for me. You have a girlfriend for fucks sake, what the hell are you fighting for me for?!"
Riley wiped his face and shrugged. "I don't like him Lila."
"You don't need to like him. I love him and that's all that should matter to you if you really are my friend." She replied, ignoring me snort behind her.
"And you!! I get that this isn't what you wanted to walk into but you don't get to beat up my ex just because he says a few annoying things!"
"I-" I started. Unfortunately she had this awful habit of cutting me off.
"You're mad. I get it. It's nothing new. But if you want to fight? Find a gym." She shook her head and sighed. "Grow the fuck up. Both of you!" She took a deep breath and held her head. "Can someone get me some water?"
"Lil." I said in a shaky voice as soon as my eyes spotted the blood on her shirt which was too much to be from Riley's nose. "Baby you're bleeding."
"Oh her god." Riley widened his eyes looking at her shirt too.
"I think...." She groaned. "I think stepping between you ripped my stitches..." She trailed off, listening to both of us curse.
"Do something fucking useful and call 911!" Travis shouted, feeling out of control again but for a totally different reason. A good one. A bad one. Dear god.
"NO!" She sighed. "They'll see his face and know it was some kind of fight...just...take me to the hospital." I nodded and stepped up. "NOT YOU!" She shouted. "You've been drinking." She groaned. "Fuck..." She whispered, looking as if she could pass out any moment.
I reached for her tiny body before she could fell, air leaving my lungs as her very pale face was close to me. It was like living a déjàvu, I kept seeing her dead, just like in my nightmares. "Baby, we're taking you to the hospital okay? Just don't pass out, stay with me." I managed to say, my voice panicked, before I glanced up at that idiot that at least had the decency to look worried. This was all his fault. "Did you drive here?" I asked him even though the last thing I wanted to do was to sit in a car with him.
"Yeah sure. Let's hurry." He nodded quickly, not looking so brave and arrogant anymore.
I carried Lila outside, keeping her against me as we all headed to the car. "Trav, everything is spinning. I don't want to get into the car." She confessed in a whisper, her voice full of...terror. No. It couldn't be.
"Don't worry baby I got you." I tried to reassure her as we got into the car and I felt her gripping my shirt with the little force she had.
"You know I'm an excellent driver." Riley said as he started driving, making me want to kick his face so that he'd keep his mouth shut.
Lila nodded, her face nestled in my chest and her eyes barely open. I looked down at her stained top, the sight of blood making me want to rip the cloth off to see where it was coming from, I wanted to see if this was bad, how bad it was. It wasn't good, I already knew that.
---
A few hours, a few new stitches and a broken nose later we were back to my house and I was back to a decent mindset. It had turned out that Lila was better than I had thought, the doctor had said that mostly now she couldn't absolutely leave the bed and I was grateful for that because maybe now she'd listen, instead of sneaking out with fucking Riley.
As the cab driver dropped us I led Lila upstairs, back to the room she had escaped from, and I let go of her hand to give her a change of clothes. Now that I was less worried, I was mad again, but I knew better than yelling and fighting when she was hurt.
"I'm going to sleep in the guest room." Her voice broke into the silence.
I turned my head to her, her words alone making me want to punch something all over again. I was painfully sober now and I needed to let out all my frustration, only it'd have to wait tomorrow. "No. You're sleeping with me." I said as I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible.
"I-" She started.
"There's not even a bed in the guest room." I cut her off before she could say something that'd piss me off even more. "If you don't want to sleep with me I can sleep on the couch." I added even though I knew that wasn't going to happen either.
"It's your bed." She replied flatly as if that explained everything.
I took my clothes off, ignoring her and getting into a pair of sweats before laying down, waiting for her to do the same. I was tempted to help her get undressed but I honestly didn't trust myself around her now, it was already hard to bite my tongue. I was scared to hurt her too.
She sighed but eventually joined me, her body on the opposite side of the bed and now even a part of us touching. I wasn't stupid, I knew she was pissed off, but she really had no reason to while I had plenty. "So you're just going to keep quiet?" She asked after a few moments.
"The doctor said you need to rest so I'm letting you rest." I replied like an asshole, rolling onto my side.
"You're not even touching me." She went on.
I closed my eyes and started to count to one million, knowing I couldn't afford talking to her right now. I wanted to hold her, make her feel better, but I also wanted to scream at her for leaving my house when she was supposed to be on fucking bed rest, for not even telling me she was going to her damn house or that she'd meet that fucking Riley, for not answering at the phone and making me worry to the point I was going insane. "I'm afraid to hurt you." I answered eventually and at least I was being honest.
"You would never hurt me." Lila said seriously.
I turned to her, keeping all my feelings in check. Her name was the only thing I was able to say without exploding. "Lila."
"Look I know you're angry at me-"
"Go to sleep." I cut her off, well aware I couldn't talk right now without making damage.
"No listen to me! What happened tonight was ridiculous!" She started.
"You think!?" I shot up, my hands going through my hair and swallowed, losing all my control. "Why the fuck did you even do that?!"
"Riley is my friend."
"You heard what he said." I said under my breath. He wasn't her friend, never had been.
"Oh and your ex would never even think about getting you back right? No she just calls you every single day!!! You don't get to act like the jealous boyfriend over this Travis. For one? It doesn't suit you. And for another? You know you have nothing to be jealous about!!!"
"Just because I'm not jealous doesn't mean I want you sneaking off to see him!!!" I argued.
"I wasn't sneaking off! I would have told you about my night when you were telling me about yours that's what a couple does!!!"
"A COUPLE?! As half of that couple you should have told me where the fuck you were going before you tore your damn stitches walking over there!!!" I shouted, wanting her to see why I was so mad.
"I tore my stitches because the two of you were acting like you were 15 all over again." She remided me. Okay, point taken, but still.
"Lil-"
She held her hand up and I growled. She knew I hated being interrupted. "I know he provoked you. But you're a grown ass man Travis."
"Lila. I can't talk about this right now." I said in a tone of false calm.
"Fine. Goodnight." She said, turning her light off and lying back down.
I let out a deep sigh as I opened my eyes again, staring at the darkness. I was still mad, but now I was slowly wondering if I had to. Yes I did. I had all the right reasons to be mad. And still. I didn't like falling asleep without resolving an argument with my girl, I was sure I couldn't even if I tried. I listened to Lila's breathing becoming regular and I slowly scooted closer to her, draping my arm across her stomach as I spooned her carefully. I didn't want to wake her but I didn't want to have her far either.
"Travis." She muttered.
"I'm hurting you? Sorry I didn't want to wake you." I whispered, my words honest as I started to pull away.
She stopped me as she grabbed my hand, keeping me in place. "No...and I wasn't sleeping." She said back in a quiet tone.
"Okay." I nodded and nuzzled her neck, needing to feel her warm and alive against me.
"I'm still mad." She added a moment later.
"So I am." I answered back, I didn't want to argue anymore though.
She shifted against me just so slightly, leaning her back against my chest. "I'm not going to apologize." She said firmly yet quietly.
I sighed because of course she wasn't going to. I wasn't either though. "Can you at least see why I'm mad?" I asked her, trying to be as calm and reasonable as possible.
"Honestly? Not really." She answered simply, making me want to groan. But I didn't.
"Listen baby, I know I might have reacted in the wrong way-"
"Oh you might have?!" She cut me off. "You broke Riley's nose Travis."
"Let me talk and let's leave him out of this." I said back seriously and when she finally kept quiet I went on. "I know we usually don't say everything to each other right away, and that's fine for us, it always worked. But right now we're not in a normal situation, you're recovering from a car accident that got you in a coma for three days and I didn't even want to leave you home alone. When you didn't answer the phone and I couldn't find you....I panicked, okay? In my mind I went through all the possible scenarios and they were all bad because I thought you didn't feel well, that you fell and got hurt, that you were half dead again." I confessed honestly and, without even realizing, held her tighter, my legs tangling with hers. "So okay, don't apologize but at least understand why I lost it."
"I can apologize for ever causing you fear or pain. I would never do that on purpose." Lila said seriously, squeezing my hand.
"You didn't even call to tell me where you were going." I argued quietly.
"Because I knew you'd think I was too weak, and I know you don't exactly like Riley." She said back.
"So you knew you were doing something wrong." I said, set on proving my point no matter what.
She shook her head. "No. I knew I was doing something that YOU wouldn't like. It wasn't wrong."
"You tore your stitches."
"Which had nothing to do with walking down the street." She reminded me, not bringing up the fight again because it was useless. We both remembered.
"You should have told me." I sighed.
"I should have told you where I was going you're right. And I should have made sure my phone was charged so I could have eased your fear earlier." She turned in my arms and held my face. "But babe, I came back to you from a coma. You're stuck with me no matter what."
"Mmm." I mumbled nuzzling into her neck. "Is that an apology? I didn't hear it."
She pulled back and almost laughed. "I'm sorry." She shook her head. "Silly man. But I'm not sorry for doing it. Just sorry I didn't tell you."
"Stubborn woman." I growled, but still held her closer.
"You know beating Riley up isn't going to make him like you more."
"I don't give a fuck if I likes me." I snapped.
"He's my-"
"I swear Lil say friend and see what happens." I narrowed my eyes.
"When did you meet Karlie?" She asked softly, trying to ease the edge on her voice she had whenever she spoke about her. I noticed that kind of things and I appreciated them.
"College. We were in the same freshman english class." I answered, wondering where she was going with that.
"So you were 18?" She asked and I nodded. "That's a long time to be with someone. I met Riley when I was 3." She reasoned. "He was basically part of my family Trav."
"You don't date your family." I pointed out. Family was another thing. He wasn't family.
"No. But it is a little harder to cut him out of my life. We know everything about each other. We were there for some of the biggest parts of our lives. And now I barely see him. He just wanted to make sure I was okay in person."
"Then you should have brought jim here." I responded, keeping my anger at bay because the thought alone of him with her in my house made me want to kick faces.
"You're right. It just felt weird to bring him to your house, but it shouldn't be."
"You heard what he said. He still has feelings for you." I reminded her.
She shook her head. "Feelings that anyone would have after being with someone off and on for years. He's never seen me in love with someone before...and admittedly you're not the kind of guy I've ever been interested in."
"Yeah right you went for boring." I muttered under my breath, shaking my head. "That's bullshit. I wasn't your type so what?! You love me so that doesn't even matter anymore, truth is he wouldn't like me even if I were your type."
"We won't ever know that." She said back in an attempt to joke but I wasn't laughing.
I groaned as I buried my face against her neck. "He wants you and I don't trust him around you." I admitted against her soft skin. Maybe that wasn't the right timing to bring that up but what the hell, we were talking.
She tangled her fingers with my hair. "But you trust me, right?"
"Of course I do." I answered quickly because I didn't even need to think about that. And to be completely honest why would she go to someone else when she had me? "That doesn't change anything though." I added a moment later, "You heard him, he'll just wait and hope for you to dump me and run to him."
"But it's never going to happen." She said softly, forcing me to pull my head back to plant a small kiss on my lips.
"I know that." I softened. For a second. "The problem is that he doesn't and he should know instead. We've been together for a while now, still he doesn't understand that you're mine now. Maybe it's because he's stupid."
"Travis." She slapped my nape, her tone serious. "He's not stupid."
"Yeah yeah." I dismissed her. I knew she was right though. "But I'm smarter."
"Yup, that's why I'm with you. Your brain." She chucked at her own joke which I ignored. She was with me for so many reasons, just as many as the reasons why I was with her after almost three years. I couldn't believe it, but mostly I couldn't believe that I actually wanted to spend with her the rest of my life.
"Lil, I'm not asking you to stop seeing him-"
"You're so not because I wouldn't, not just because you told me." She cut me off, a habit I hated.
"That's exactly why I'm not asking you, because I know you'd see him anyway." I paused, dead serious. "But I am asking you to tell me whenever you're with him, just like I always tell you when I'm with Karlie."
"That's fair." Lila finally agreed. "I should have called you tonight....you're just being so overprotective.."
"For good reason." I pointed out.
"Travis I broke her stitches breaking up a fight. Not walking to my house."
I narrowed my eyes."That wasn't my fault."
"I know." She agreed.
"What?" I rose a brow at her and she smiled.
"I'm not angry at you for what you did. You were fighting for me and he provoked you. It was a little immature but you've been through a lot lately and I don't blame you for that. Plus Riley was really fucking stupid to think he could take you." I smirked and she rolled her eyes. "That wasn't a compliment. Just a fact."
"I'm not going to stop being overprotective." I replied.
"Well now you have a damn doctors note saying you can so I'm just going to have to deal with it." She sighed.
"That's right." I agreed.
She pushed her fingers through my hair and looked at me. "I'm yours you know. Always."
"You better." I replied seriously then kissed her lips, feeling content enough for how the night had turned. Sure I wasn't happy about Lila's health, but we had been able to resolve a fight without jumping at each other's throat.
She kissed me back and sighed. "That's not the answer I was hoping for." She muttered as she nuzzled my chest, her hands holding onto me. She felt so tiny in my hold.
I just shrugged as I played with her hair, relaxing and getting a little sleepy too.
"What's that look on your face?" She asked a moment later, peeking up at me.
"Mhm?" I questioned in a mutter, looking down at her with a brow raised.
"You have a smug expression plastered on your face." She pointed out.
Oh. That. "You agreed to most of the things I said, told me I was right kicking Riley's a-" I stopped mid-sentence when her hand covered my mouth.
"I did not say that. You're pushing it now." She protested but a smile was playing on her lips. The storm was gone, thank god.
I held her tighter, needing to feel her against me more than anything else. I also wondered when we could have sex again but I pushed the thought aside. She wasn't ready for that just yet. "Maybe." I nibbled her palm then kissed it. "Goodnight baby."
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