Charlie 4 Years Old

"HI!" I said running up to Jax who was staring at a book.
"Hi." He said without even looking at me.

step down

I walked into the coffee shop and I felt my lips curve into a smile as soon as my eyes landed on Lila. I had had a hell of a day and I was more than happy to see her.
“What the hell?” Lila blinked, studying my face as I leaned down to press a kiss against her mouth.
“How was your meeting?” I asked softly.
“What the fuck happened to your face?” She asked back, pressing softly against the dark bruise on my left eye which made me wince.
“Gym.” I shrugged because I didn't want to get into the details of how I had gotten a black eye. It was irrelevant.
She blinked back at me. “What did an elliptical machine punch you in the face?” She asked, cocking a brow at me, but before I could respond another voice stopped her completely.
“Lila?” The deep voice and English accent said and Lila turned and smiled when she saw the man standing behind her.


“Dr. Burton.” She grinned and he smiled back at her, a crooked smile that I disliked immedately. He reached down and pulled her into a hug which she gave him back, wrapping her arms around him and it was like watching a movie for how unreal that sounded. Lila, my girl, hugging another man in front of me. This day would get worse apparently.
“I think we’re on a first name basis by now darling.” He laughed as he pulled back.
“Chase.” Lila smiled. My hands balled into fists, I didn't like the vibe between them. “What are you doing all the way over here on the west coast?”
“I’m giving a few lectures here.” He smiled and I watched as his gaze looked over her slowly, in a leering way, the look in his eyes was definitely appreciative. “You look exactly the same as the last time I saw you.” He said seriously. “Except your hair. It was red back then.” He reached out and pushed a curl behind her ear and Lila fucking blushed for god's sake. It was obvious what was going on here.
“It’s only been 6….7 years?” She asked and I was tempted to get up and leave since I was being ignored and that wasn't nice at all.
“Has it been that long?” He laughed and shook his head. “I could have sworn I was helping you with your thesis just last year.” His eyes twinkled while I did the math. They fucked. I had to do something.
“Ahem.” My voice cut through her thoughts and she smiled.
“Chase this is my boyfriend Travis Cole. Trav this is Chase Burton, he was my art history professor at Yale.”
I got up and basically towered him, offering him my hand which he shook as he smiled at me. "Nice to meet you." I said politely even though I didn't feel particularly friendly towards him. The way he was looking at my girl gave me very unfriendly thoughts.
"Are you a talented artist like Lila?" He asked me and his eyes darted immediately back to Lil who was blushing and suppressing a giggle like a fucking schoolgirl. What the hell.
I shook my head, wondering why he was still standing there. "No. I work in finance." I answered back in a monotone.
"But he's as talented with money as I am with paint and brushes." Lila added as she smirked at him. As if he was remotely interested in me.
"That'd be impressing considering how well your career is going." He grinned back at her and went back to ignore me, instead he ran a hand through his hair as he shot her a charming look.
She blushed again, biting down on her lip. Was she flirting with him now? "You're just overrating me now."
He shook his head as his face turned serious, his eyes heated by a fire I hadn't seen before. But I was watching him. Closely. "Oh no. I actually followed your career and I'm not surprised you turned out to be the amazing artist you are." He paused as he slightly leaned into her, a move that was subtle but I noticed. I was this close to tell him to fuck off instead. "You were my best student after all." He added softly.
I couldn't help letting out a small groan as I sat back at the table since they were so into their conversation I was practically invisible.
"You've always been too good to me..." She trailed off and I knew, I fucking knew, that she liked him. I had never seen her look at a man like that. Not even with that joke of Riley.
"Nonsense." He said with that pompous British accent. "We should go to dinner one of these days, I'd love to catch up with you before you become too famous to find time for an old professor like me."
"I'd love that!!" She said back with a little too much enthusiasm and a moment later they were hugging goodbye. Way too fucking close and tight. He barely nodded at me before leaving.
I turned to Lila and glared. "What the fuck was that." I said in a low voice.
“What do you mean?” She asked, raising a brow and cringing again when she saw my black eye.
“I mean you turning into a giggling teenager.” I replied, folding my arms across my chest and glaring at her.
She widened her eyes. “Oh god did I?” She asked, her cheeks heating in embarrassment.
“Are you blushing now?” I raised a brow, as if that wasn't enough.
“I don’t want Dr. Burton to think that-“
“You mean Chase.” I interrupted.
She blinked and had no idea of what was coming, she was completely clueless and that annoyed me even more. “Yeah.”
“Do most Yale professors allow their students to call them by first name?” I asked. “Or call them “Darling?””
“No.” She admitted. “But it was different with Chase.” She replied, not looking guilty at all.
“Because you want to fuck him.” I pointed out, doing my best not to turn the table and storm away because the thought alone of her wanting another man...it was infuriating.
She widened her eyes at me and then narrowed them slowly. “Not today I don’t.” She replied. “I’m in a loving committed relationship with my boyfriend. Where is he by the way?”
“Not today.” I replied, ignoring the rest of her words. I wasn't going to let her distract me. “But you did once?”
“What exactly are you asking me?” She folded her arms and waited for my response.
“Are you attracted to him? How old is he anyways?” I asked.
“He’s attractive.” She nodded. “And probably 46, 47?” She shrugged. “He was an amazing professor. I learned more from him in a year than I did the rest of school about art.”
“Just about art?” I snapped back.
“Just ask what you want to ask Travis. I’m not going to lie. I don’t have anything to hide.” Her voice was sharp now, but it did nothing to me.
“Did you fuck him?” I asked, almost placing a period between every word so I was sure that she understood me since she seemed to be so oblivious.
“It wasn’t just fucking, but yes, we had a relationship.” She confessed and I growled under my breath while she narrowed her eyes. “Did you want to be the oldest man I’d been with or something?” She asked, only half kidding, since lord knew I loved teasing her about that. Not now though.
“You were flirting with me right in front of me!” I said eventually.
She blinked. “That wasn’t flirting! We’re friends! I hadn’t seen him in a long time and he’s a good man! I get a little flustered around him.” She admitted as if that was nothing and completely normal. “I never understood why I was so interesting to him.” She shrugged.
“I think it was what’s under your skirt that was interesting.” I said under my breath.
She scoffed at me. “First of all? What we had was more than sex. It wasn’t cheap. Secondly? What are you to judge him even if he did want me just for her body. Isn’t that all you wanted initially? I’m sorry if I seemed off around him but I can assure you I don’t want him anymore than you want any of your former lovers.”
“Excuse me?” I asked, my voice low and dangerous.
She shook her head as she moved farther away from me. “Which part did you need more explaining about?” She asked seriously.
"Maybe it's better if you shut up before you piss me off further." I groaned as I leaned back against the damn chair, looking around and avoiding her eyes on purpose.
"What are you pissed off about exactly Travis?! I did nothing wrong!" She said in a defensive way that, if you asked me, was an admission of guilt instead as she scooted her chair closer to mine.
I raised one eyebrow as I turned my head to her again. "So now it's okay to be close to me?" I asked pointedly.
She rolled her eyes. "Come on Trav don't be ridiculous." She snapped.
"Why? You're the only one allowed to be ridiculous?" I shoot back as I stared at her, challenging her.
"Wha- God!!! What are you're talking about?!" She asked back and seemed clueless, with those Bambi eyes wide and everything. But I knew what I had seen.
"You straight ignored me less than two minutes ago because you were too busy gushing over that old man!!!" I told her in a clipped tone, seeing red if I thought about the way she had been looking at him. What did she even see in him? It was almost worse than fucking Riley. Almost. One thing was clear though, I was definitely not her type.
She sighed, exasperated, "I was just happy to see him! And not because we used to have something, but because he taught me so much about the thing I love the most in my life." She tried to explain. It was weak though.
"Yeah sure. He wants to take you out just to talk about art." I muttered under my breath. This was day was only getting worse, maybe I just had to go to bed and sleep for a week.
"God you're so frustrating!!!" She protested and gave me another glare.
"Go to Dr Burton if I'm that bad. Excuse me, I meant Chase." I snorted.
She shook her head, "You almost sound jealous." She pointed out slowly.
I scoffed. "Nonsense darling." I said back mocking that annoying accent of that pompous ass. She wasn't going out with him. Not now, not in one million years.
“Oh come on Trav.” Lila shook her head.
“Yes. I’m sorry I don’t have a fancy doctorate degree.” I spat back even though that wasn't the point.
“Travis you have two masters degrees in finance.” She pointed out. “That’s just as impressive.”
“Just as? What is he a doctor of anyways? Art?” I went on.
She flinched. “Did you just insult my profession?” She asked softly.
I widened my eyes but then rolled them. “No for fucks sake.” I groaned.
“How did you get that black eye again?” She asked and changed the topic.
“I told you. At the gym.” I answered in monotone.
She grabbed her bag, and her coffee, glaring at him. “At least She don’t lie to you.” She replied, shoving her chair back against the table. “Let’s go.”
I rose a brow. “Go?”
“I would storm off right now, but we need to go have sex.”
What the fuck. “Yeah that’s not happening.” I spat back. “Storm off all you want.”
“Why because you’re so jealous you’re afraid I won’t be thinking about you during?” She asked, glaring back at me. “I’m ovulating Travis let’s go.”
“You should be careful of what you say when you speak Lil.” My eyes had gone totally cold.
“So I won’t speak during.” She replied. “And probably not after either.”
“I’m not fucking you Lila, forget it.”
“Fine. Forget it!” She yelled back. “Forget that you’re the man I’ve chosen to have a life with, forget that you’re the one I want to father my children, the one that I’ve chosen because I love you more than anything in the world, forget all that just because I blushed around another man! I see you flirt with women all the time but I know it doesn’t mean anything! And it doesn’t even compare because I wasn’t flirting!!!!!”
"Yes you were!!!" I said back, my tone matching hers and it was no good. I hated fighting with her, hated it, but how she couldn't see what the problem was?
"And that's the only thing you decide to pick?! Didn't you hear what I just said?!" She set her hands on my chest and pushed me back. Unfucking believable.
I grabbed her hand and started walking. "Let's go home." I growled, basically dragging her towards my car. There was no way we'd stop fighting nows and I didn't want to yell at her in the middle of the street.
"Let go of me!" She screamed full force. Apparently the parking lot would do instead.
I did as she wanted and she seemed to be burned by my touch which only upset me more. "Let's get this straight Lila. I don't flirt with other women, never, but mostly not with women I slept with." I said between clenched teeth, pointing an accusatory finger at her.
"You did with Zoe instead!!!" She protested, crossing her arm against her chest.
I ran my hands through my hair even if I wanted to pull it out of my scalp for how crazy she was making me. No one had ever made me like this, and what was exactly why she was the love of my life. "I can't believe you're bringing that up it was fucking forever ago!!" I protested.
"It was forever ago with my professor too!" She spat back, not missing a beat as usual.
"It was just a moment ago instead." I argued and when I took a step closer to her she took a step back. That move did something to me and I just punched my car, feeling my knuckles crack under the metal as if the earlier fight hadn't been enough already.
She jumped, sounding both surprised and a little scared too. "Travis. You have to tell me right now what's happening to you." She said slowly, seriously.
I rubbed my fist. "I don't know what you're talking about." I said back stubbornly.
"Please." She scoffed. "Your black eyes, your jealousy...and now you're hitting your car."
I let out a deep breath. I needed to calm down. "It's nothing." I shook my head, not able to put into words what I had in my mind and in my heart. Truth was, no matter how much I didn't think about it and said to Lila that it was a matter of time, but this thing of not getting her pregnant was being hard on me too and since I wanted to be strong for both I had no other way to vent than fighting, for real, in real fights against people who did that for passion or even for work. I had left that circle way before Lila, but now it seemed to easy to fall back into it.
“Baby.” Lila reached up and cupped my face, pressing into my body.
“Now you can touch me huh?” I asked even if I had to amit having her close was what I needed, or at least part of it.
She blinked. “I don’t want you dragging me places but I have no problems touching you.” She said seriously. “In fact I love it.”
“You pushed me away again and again!” I protested because that was something I hated.
“I’m sorry but I’m angry! You’re mad for literally NO reason. Punching a dent in your car is a completely inappropriate reaction to you THINKING I was flirting.”
“YOU WERE!!” I stood my ground.
“Did I not introduce you as my boyfriend? Did I make him think in any way that I was available?!” She stood hers, as usual.
“You said you wanted to have dinner with him!!!” I shouted back.
“AS FRIENDS!!!” She sighed and ran her hands through her hair. “And even though it’s ridiculous, I won’t go if it makes you uncomfortable.”
“You’re fucking right you won't go.” I muttered, fully aware that I was being unfair.
“You’re making me want to start punching things Trav. What in the hell is wrong with you? You’ve never been jealous like this before! Not even with Riley and you broke his nose!!!”
“I’m not fucking jealous Lila I have no reason to be.” I spat.
“Well that’s true!” She agreed. “You are they only man for me. Always.”
“Because I’m just your type right?” I rose a brow.
She set a hand on her hip. “No. Because I gave you my heart a long time ago and I never want it back. Because you love me for me and because we work together even if we’re so different. And that’s not even getting into our chemistry which is off the charts amazing.”
“I don’t want you to go to dinner with him.” I said more softly.
“I don’t want you to go to dinner with Karlie.” She replied. “And before you say that’s different? It is because it’s worse. You were in love with her. I was never in love with Chase.”
“You seemed in love 20 minutes ago.” I retorted. It wasn't true though.
She sighed. “We’re literally getting nowhere. I love you Travis but you’re so fucking stubborn. I won’t see him. Whatever. Let’s just go home.” She said eventually and looked a little sad to be honest.
I parted my lips to say more, to argue about Karlie and so much more, I chose to close my mouth instead because maybe I had said too much already. It was always like this with Lila, or at least most of the times, whenever we fought we went off the rails and we ended up yelling at each other until either one of us stormed off or sobered up because of some reason. Right now Lila was my reason, the way she looked absolutely defeated and exhausted. "Yeah. Let's go home." I said eventually and we got into my car, the air inside of it so tense as I drove. Maybe I was pushing her too much, maybe I was doing everything wrong and maybe she was right. Did I think she'd even cheat on me or leave me? Not really. Then why did I get so mad when she was around men who of course wanted her? Why if I was so sure she'd never say yes to any of them? I believed her when she said I was the only one for her. I didn't even know what the fuck was my problem sometimes.
As we got home she dropped her bag on the coffee table before starting heading to our bedroom. I had to stop her or this day would end with a silence that would be even worse in the morning. "Lil." I said in a voice that was clearly a command.
She turned to me quickly, almost automatically. "I'm done arguing with you Trav, really." She said quietly.
I stared into her sad eyes realizing that maybe I was creating problems that didn't exist and in the end I'd become the problem instead. "I'm sorry." I admitted after swallowing.
"For what?" She asked slowly, studying me. But I was honest, I was sorry.
"Not sure...but for everything I guess." I told her as I ran my hand through my hair.
She shook her head and crossed her arms against her chest. "I don't know if that's good enough."
"You can go to dinner with your professor." I said back instead, still hating the idea to the point I wanted to kick things.
"How did you change your mind so fast?" She asked skeptically.
I broke eye contact and stared down at my swollen fist, running my fingers on my bruised knuckles. "I can't take you away your freedom and force you not to do things you want to do just because I don't like them. Eventually you'd get tired of them and would break free from me instead." I reasoned out loud, slowly. "I don't want that."
She took a few steps to get closer to me and she reached for my hand to raise it. "Does it hurt?"
It did, a little, only right now I couldn't care less. "It's okay." I shrugged and closed my hand around hers as I looked into her eyes. "I know I'm a stubborn ass sometimes, but I mean what I just said. I'm sorry. I know it's not a good excuse but fuck Lil you drive me literally insane. Something changed from the accident...you're everything to me, I want to protect you from the whole world and have you all for me."
Lila just blinked back at me for a moment. “I’m sorry I drive you so insane.” She said, trying to fill the silence while she took in all of my words.
“It’s not anything you can help.” I said before shrugging. “Usually.”
She slid her hands up my chest and closed her eyes for a second as I wrapped my arms around her. “I know you felt helpless after I got hurt. But I don’t need a protector Travis, I just need you. I’m not going anywhere, you can’t lose me.”
I sighed and kissed the top of her head.
“Are you fighting?” She asked softly.
“Not a lot.” I admitted and she looked up and ran her finger against the bruise on my eye. “Hand hurts more than the eye.”
“I bet.” She agreed. “Is the other guy at least worse for wear?” She asked.
I looked down at her, raising a brow. “You’re not mad?”
She shook her head. “I’m mad you lied about it, but if you want to go beat things up it might as well be people who want to be beaten up.” She shrugged. “Just try not to ruin your face. I love it.”
I smirked, in that moment appreciating how she always surprised me with her reactions. Sometimes it was bad, but when it was good, like now, it was really good. “Do you?” I asked, my body relaxing slowly.
“A lot.” She nodded. “Also don’t get arrested.” She swallowed thickly and licked her lips. “Thank you for apologizing. I won’t have dinner with him, I’d never do something that knowingly made you feel uncomfortable.”
“Thank you.” I leaned down and kissed her softly.
She reached for my hand and kissed each knuckle and then buried her face in my chest. “I’m yours. Whenever you want to have me all for you just ask.”
I hugged her closer and then tilted her head up to kiss her mouth. “Now Lil.” I said, my voice filled with emotion. God this girl...how did she do this to me?
“I’m yours Trav.”
I picked her up, wrapping her legs around my waist and kissing her again. “The other guy has two black eyes.” I said, looking up into her eyes and making her chuckle.
“Good for you.” She grinned, tangling her hands in my hair and kissing me again.
"Good for you too." I grinned against her mouth, I was so fucking grateful that she hadn't gotten mad for finding out I was back fighting and even more grateful that we were done yelling at each other. I was coming to terms to the fact that probably Lila and I were the kind of couple who would always fight like this, like two big waves crashing one into the other, but the longer we were together the shorter the time we managed to stop fighting. Maybe it wasn't much, it was still some kind of improvement though. I walked up the stairs holding her firmly against me and once we were in our bedroom I set her gently on the bed.
She rolled over onto her side lazily, keeping her eyes on me. She looked...curious? "So..." She trailed off.
I raised one eyebrow at her, knowing she wanted to know something. "Shoot baby." I smiled at her as I took off my t-shirt.
She sat up immediately and widened her eyes. "Oh god Trav!" She said, reaching out and brushing my hipbone.
I looked down and noticed the bruise. "It's nothing." I shook my head, "Get naked." I added, grinning.
She grinned back and did as told, her eyes not leaving me even for a second as we both got undressed. "Where do you fight?" She asked after a moment.
"Why are you asking?" I asked back, my grin getting wider when I got rid of my boxers and her eyes went darker.
"I want to come...to see you." She added slowly but I could see she was having other thoughts.
I climbed on the bed, hovering over her. "Nope." I said simply before lowering myself to press my lips on her neck, inhaling her sweet scent.
"Why?!" She protested but it was weak, she was already moaning and fisting my hair.
"You'd get me distracted and someone would ruin this face you love so much." I muttered between kisses as my mouth trailed down her chest.
She let out an appreciative sigh. "You're distracting me right now just to get your way..." She trailed off, her free hand running down my back and cupping my ass to force me to get closer.
I positioned myself between her legs, rubbing against her and ugh this was what I needed. Always. Her, inside and out. "Mhm it's working." I groaned as I grabbed her knees to open her wide for me.
She stared up at me with love and just a veil of something else I couldn't get my finger on to. "Let's make a baby Trav..." She said softly.
I bored my eyes into hers, hoping this could be the right time but wanting no pressure. "Let's just make love."

back up

I let out a content sigh as I rolled over onto my side, my hand reaching out for Lila blindly since my eyes were still shut and I wasn't sure if I was awake already. Either way, I felt good. We were in Chicago, away from home and from everything, it was just us and the only thought we had was the opening of her art exibition.
"Baby." I muttered under my breath as my palm made contact with her soft skin and I pulled her tiny body against me, my chest pressing against her back. I tilted my head down and pressed a small kiss on her shoulder, loving how warm and soft she was all over.
She didn't make a sound but scooted closer and tangled her legs with mine, letting me know she was awake. I was surprised she wasn't talking already though, she was the one who always started the day full of energy. I hoped she was too relaxed to even talk.

slow down

"Trav...come back home please." Lila purred from the other side of the phone, making me groan as I rubbed my hand over my face.
I leaned back in my chair, sighing in frustration. "I can't baby, I told you. I'm working and I have a lot to do." I stared at my computer, cringing because I was sure I'd be home late tonight. Again. That was what happened when you spent two days away with your girlfriend having a sex marathon instead of going to work. Not that I was complaining.
"But I want to see you." She said back and even if I wasn't seeing her I knew she was pouting.
"Later Lil, I'll try to come home as soon as possible." I paused when my assistant knocked on the door of my office and walked in a moment later, mouthing something that seemed like meeting but I wasn't sure. "I gotta go. Love you baby." I told her and hang up hurriedly before giving my attention to Ryan.
"There's someone who wants to talk to you, said its urgent." He said, trying to pretend he hadn't heard my love declaration but his small grin gave him away.
I sighed again as I glanced at the watch on my wrist. I didn't have much time before the meeting with my boss. "Who's this person?"

they don't love you like I love you

Jax;

I walked into my house after a long day at work, happy to be back with my family. I dropped my jacket on my way to the livingroom and was even happier that Lila was there, talking to Colbie and cuddling Ruby.
“I thought that too.” Lila said and I had no idea what they were talking about. Sisters stuff? “But so what if that’s what brought it on? Travis is it for me Colbie. He’s the only man I’ll ever want in my life. If I was pregnant would that be so bad?” She asked.
I had a fucking heart attack. “Fuck.” I said out loud ans she looked up to see me in the doorway, feeling as if I was sorry I’d walked in on them. “You’re pregnant?”
"No, why do I look pregnant?" She tried to make a joke out of it to hide the embarrassment evident on her face. It wasn't like her, she was usually blunt and ashamed of nothing, and we were great friends too, but I understood why she was blushing now.
I walked over her and kissed the top of her head before walking over my Colbs to press a quick kiss on her lips. "You look as skinny and beautiful as usual."
"Ugh skinny makes me feel like I'm flat and not sexy at all." She protested with a small pout on her lips.