old, but I'm not that old, young, but I'm not that bold

old, but I'm not that old, young, but I'm not that bold by sassy

I looked at the girl a few inches from me, my eyes dropping on her lips as she kept pouting. I didn't really want to kiss her, kisses weren't something I was interested in when I wanted a lot more. Her mouth wrapped around my dick, that was what I wanted, and that was why kisses seemed useless to me. Unfortunately there weren't many girl willing to give a b.lowjob without a few of those too...what was this girls name again?
"Do you come here a lot? Because I'm sure I've seen you already..." She trailed off, setting her hand on my chest casually as she bit down on her lip.
I shrugged, since yes I used to hang out there quite a lot but for what I could remember I had never met her before. Or maybe I had, but I had been drunk, who knew and who cared. "I don't think so, I would've remembered you." I smirked at her, using a line that made me cringe but I wasn't in the mood for playing or hunting. I just wanted to get into her pants, f.uck her and get some sleep. I didn't want to think, it wasn't worth it anyway.
She giggled, pressing her body against me as I wrapped my arm around her waist promptly. She has a decent face, a nice curvy body's but wasn't nothing more than a 7. Nothing to do with an eleven. My eleven. Ugh. "You're trying to make me blush." She said coyly, so,etching that didn't fit her at all. But it wasn't her fault if she was what she was after all, and I was taking advantage of it anyway.

once you want it to begin, no one really ever wins

once you want it to begin, no one really ever wins by ssaarah

 

 

"Come on Lila you've been MIA for months and now you're just going to sit at the bar like a buzz kill?" Jaime asked, pouting as one of the guys wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her on the dance floor.

"I'll just finish this drink and be back." I forced a smile, genuinely happy to be around friends but also too bummed out to play the happy single girl. I missed him. So much. So much that I was seing him right in front of me.....I blinked up at Trav who was pulling his girl to the other side of the bar after his eyes met mine. I reached out to touch him before thinking.

This could really be a good life.

I walked through the long narrow hallway, emotions rushing through me both good and bad. While I was mourning the loss of my career, Aiden's was restarting and I couldn't be any more proud of him. I pushed the door open to find him pacing around his dressing room, anxiety showing on his gorgeous face. "Are you doing okay?" I asked, walking up to him with a worried look on my face.

He shrugged, "I feel like I'm going to puke…" 

You twist to fit the mold that I am in

You twist to fit the mold that I am in by nadiaa showing how to wear faded jeans

[FLASHBACK]

I drank as much Jack Daniels’ before I needed a breath. I set the bottle down and turned my attention towards the line on the table in front of me. I took a straw and snorted the white powder before closing my eyes and leaning back against the couch feeling the high.

“You’re about to go on and you’re high as hell?” I heard a familiar voice and opened my eyes to see my father standing there giving me a disapproving look.

when your dreams all fail and the ones we hail are the worst of all

when your dreams all fail and the ones we hail are the worst of all by sassy

A shadow on the floor of my office distracted me from typing, my eyes shooting up quickly to find a gorgeous Lila leaning against my door, wearing casual clothes and a serious expression on her face. She wasn't even aware I had noticed, so lost in her thoughts. I hadn't seen her since our night together and I was hoping this had nothing to do about that.
"Lila." I broke into her daze as my eyes took in her body once again, casually dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt that tended to slip off her shoulder. It made me want to bite her.
"Hey." She said softly.
"You're....what are you wearing?" I asked simply, used to see her in more formal clothes at work. Not that she didn't look perfect like this too.
She looked down and then back up at me, smiling as she walked in and shut the door behind her. "Whatever I want."

i'm sorry that i couldn't get to you

i'm sorry that i couldn't get to you by ssaarah

 

I leaned against Travis' office door and watched him as he typed. In his perfectly tailored three piece suit he looked untouchable, like he owned the world and was perfectly together. I had seen another side of him. Many different sides actually, the latest being the one where he tangled his body with mine, holding me close and kissing me over and over as he told me how beautiful I was. Sure he was drunk....but it was still too much to handle.

"Lila." I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn't realize he'd noticed me at all. His eyes took in my body, casually dressed in skinny jeans and a baggy sweatshirt that tended to slip off my shoulder.

"Hey."

"You're....what are you wearing?" I looked down and then back up at him, smiling as I walked in and shut the door behind me.

Untitled #1063

Untitled #1063 by ssaarah


I blinked as something brought me out of my reverie, I was deep in work mode but it sounded like my phone was ringing. I looked around but the noise had stopped so I went back to my canvas, tracing the hands of my nephew around his rugby ball as a part of my new hand collection. But then my phone started again. This time I knew it was ringing, I seached for it, seeing Travis' name on the screen as I stopped for a second before opening it.

when the lights fade out all the sinners crawl

when the lights fade out all the sinners crawl by sassy featuring sport shirts

I parked my bike in front of Lila's apartment building without even realizing I was there, I got off and steadied myself, knowing I should have stopped a few drinks before this point but not caring that much. This was a bad idea, I kept repeating to myself as I walked to the front door of the building, it swinging open as soon as I set my hand on it and almost making me lose my balance. Again. I leaned against a wall and swallowed as I closed my eyes, the imagines in my head were a blur, there was the memory of my night, Jackson, the girl with him, Lila, the fight with the bartender, the girl who threw herself at me, Lila, the girl I had danced with, Lila, Lila, Lila...Lila. Since I had talked to her I had been able not to think about her, kind of, but tonight I was an obsessed man. I craved her. I wanted to run my hands up and down her silky skin, I wanted to feel her hands on me, I wanted to bury myself deep inside of her...god I wanted to f.uck her.

You're the only friend I need.

"Ar..." Seb's voice said softly, his hand on my side carefully and cautiously. I stirred a little but didn't open my eyes, too tired because I had a hard time sleeping last night. I always slept bad when he wasn't there, but when we were fighting? It almost seemed impossible. I'd spent most of the night crying instead and now my eyes felt glued together. "I made you some coffee," He added when I didn't budge, determination in his tone which said a lot since usually I was the one who had to throw up the white flag and surrender first.

I finally opened my eyes, looking at him and blinking. "Thanks," I muttered under my breath as I lifted myself up a little, reaching for the cup and breaking eye contact. I wasn't mad anymore, more so hurt. 

just close your eyes and you’ll get what you need, no need to fight, no need to compete

just close your eyes and you’ll get what you need, no need to fight, no need to compete by sassy

I walked into the bedroom after a sleepless awful night spent working, more likely trying to since I hadn't done so much eventually. It was obvioud why, after the fight with Aria it was hard to focusing on anything but her. I didn't know if she had gotten any sleep, how she was feeling, though I knew that I was going to find out and fix this situation, guilt was eating me whole. I stopped on the doorway and took a deep breath as I looked at her, asleep, curled on her side and covered by a bunch of blankets while my side was untouched which said a lot. Even when I went to bed later than her she was always all over my side too.
I finally found the courage to step towards the bed and sat next to her motionless body, keeping my fingers crossed that this was a good idea. "Ar..." I said softly, setting my hand on her side carefully. She stirred a little but didn't open her eyes, which I took like a bad sign but I was too stubborn to give up. "I made you some coffee." I added, feeling the cup almost burning against the palm of my hand.

with the beast inside there's nowhere we can hide

I noticed Lila as soon as I walked into Starbucks, she was sitting alone at a table, her gorgeous eyes staring at the untouched muffin in front of her. She looked really deep into her own thoughts but somehow she lifted her head as I made my way towards the counter only to look away a second later. Maybe I wasn't going crazy and she felt the pull I felt too. I ordered my coffee and headed to her table. "Hey eleven, what are you doing here all alone." I asked with a smile as I nodded at the empty chair opposite from hers, "Do you mind?"
She shook her head, "No, of course not." She said simply, the tone of her voice not as cheerful as usual and it was too bad. I liked how she always seemed so happy, mostly because her good mood was contagious and it was really easy to be around her.
"Is it bad?" I glanced at the muffin as I sipped my coffee, wondering what was going on in that pretty head of hers.

only know you've been high when you're feeling low

only know you've been high when you're feeling low by ssaarah

 

 

I was staring at the table in front of me as I ran my hands through my hair. I had too many thoughts in my head. A bunch of new paintings that I wanted to start, work that wasn't interesting anymore and a love life that meant more to me than to him. It had never happened to me before. I'd always been the one who wasn't as invested. A part of me knew I should walk away, but I was pretty sure I wasn't strong enough to say no to him. I felt....I didn't know how I felt.

Untitled #1063

Untitled #1063 by ssaarah

"What movie do you want to watch?" Mila asked as she grabbed the remote and I poured us some wine. I shrugged.

"Choose whatever you want." she smiled as I handed her a glass.

"I'll choose something girly." I laughed.

God knew exactly what he was doing when he led me to you.

God knew exactly what he was doing when he led me to you. by nadiaa featuring scented candles

“What movie do you want to watch?” I asked, grabbing the remote and started flipping through the movie channels while Ames poured us some wine.

He shrugged, “Choose whatever you want.” He said, handing me the glass.

I grinned, “I’ll choose something girly.” I teased him

He laughed at me, “Doesn’t matter. I’m planning on making out the whole time anyways.” He smirked as he removed the throw pillows from my couch onto the floor, “How many damn pillows do you need?”

I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones enough to make my systems blow

I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones enough to make my systems blow by sassy 

I knocked on the door of Nolan's loft as I tapped my foot on the floor nervously while glancing at the my watch. Ten in the morning and the man was still sleeping I was sure. I left a few seconds pass, then knocked again, this time louder as I used my voice too. "Nolan, it's me!" I said loud enough for him to hear me and probably hate me too since it was Sunday and it was supposed to be the only day when he could sleep in. For a moment I considere the option he could be with another girl, which could be since we weren't even a thing and he was crazy attractive, but in that case? I'd need a plan B.
The door swung open and there he was, hald naked, half asleep, half grumpy with bed hair too. He was so hot. "If you come over so early in the morning the least you should do is wearing no clothes." He said in a groggy voice.

Cause you're a good girl and you know it.

I rolled over in bed, my eyelids still not budging even though someone kept knocking on my door. Probably the neighbor. Who else would be banging on my door so damn early? It was my day off. "Nolan, it's me!" A voice yelled out, loud enough for me to hear and a groan escaped me in response.

It was Sunday. What the hell was Eva doing at my place on a Sunday morning?

can't i just take a little time to find what i'm looking for

"Lil" I felt Travis nuzzle my neck as his arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me into his body.

"Mmmm" I cozied up against him and squirmed a little as he nibbled my ear.

"You don't need to spoon me to get some Trav." I teased, arching my back to press my ass against his always impressive erection.

"I can spoon you if I want, your my girlfriend." I rose a brow and turned my body into him.

"What?" Travis laughed, a deep sexy sound that made me shiver all the way down to my toes.

"Funny Lil." he lowered his body to kiss me hard, his hands running up my nightgown and holding my waist as he kissed me deeply.

"Travis." I whispered, overwhelmed by the emotion in his kiss just as much as I was by the world girlfriend.

"I can't live without you baby..." he whispered in my ear before thrusting himself inside of me in one fast-

"LILA!!!" I sat up, looking around to see my sister standing in my bedroom. I wasn't in Travis's big bed, in fact he wasn't there at all. God it had felt so real....

"Colbs? What are you doing here?"

"Why the hell didn't you tell me you were seeing Will's coach!?" she asked incredulously. I blinked back at her, rubbing my eyes and pushing my hair away from my sweaty face.

"What time is it?' I glanced at the clock on my night stand and groaned. "Coblie it's my day off! Come back at noon."

"No. Get dressed, your brothers and I need to have a talk." I blinked.

"The whole family is here?! My god I'm not even dating him!!" Colbie rose a brow and then let her eyes trail over to my laundry basket, where a pair of Travis' boxers were sitting on the top.

"Really? Just like he wasn't your type?" I rolled my eyes.

"We're just sleeping together. He's not my type." Coblie shot me another I-don't-believe-you look before throwing a pair of sweats at me.

"We're waiting."

"You're ruining my life." I groaned as I slipped into my sweat pants and threw on a tank.

"That's nothing new." I walked out to find Reese, Josh, and Kolton in the kitchen and living room, Josh cooking something in the kitchen while Kolt flipped through channels.

"Oh were Parker and Derrick not invited to this intervention?" I grumbled, glad that I'd only have to deal with 4 siblings. "You better have made coffee." I glared at Josh and he handed me a steaming mug.

"We don't like this guy Lila." He said, a glare on his handsome face as he folded his arms over his chest.

"He's Will's coach what's not to like?!" I tried the joke when Kolt set the tv on mute and Reese sat down next to me on the couch.

"He has a record Lila!" He shoved a piece of paper in my hand and I stared at it before lifting my head and glaring at him.

"You ran a background check on Travis!?" I threw the papers at him. "Reece that's crazy! And a few speeding tickets isn't a record!"

"A few is 3. He has 10." I rolled my eyes.

"Yes what a terrible un-dateable man. Who by the way I'm not actually dating!"

"Right because you don't date guys do you? Just lead them on and then walk away when someone better comes along?" Kolton shot into the conversation and I looked up at him.

"What?"

"Riley is in love with you. You know that right? And you're wasting your time with a guy who doesn't even want to meet your family?"

"He knows Colbie! And Will! And he met Reese!"

"Oh yeah, he made a great impression on me, especially the part where he groped you in front of me."

"Colbie!" I looked to my sister for some help but she just shrugged.

"He's a good coach Lila, and I totally see the appeal...all the mom's do, but he's not the guy you actually do anything with, just the guy you fantasize about." My brothers groaned.

"Colbs....seriously." Josh shook his head and I glared at my brothers.

"Are you all seriously lecturing me about having casual sex? Seriously?" They winced again, but none of them could really say anything. "Tell you what. The day one of you is in a monogomous committed relationship? I'll give up Travis." That is if he didn't give me up first. But I didn't say that part.

"Lila, come on. We just don't want you to get hurt." Kolton said offhandedly, looking a little guilty.

"I'm a big girl Kolt. I can handle myself."

"You can't. You're falling for him." Reese cut in. "You're going to get your heart broken. I saw you with him. You've never been that way with any other guy." He was looking at me with a pained, almost pitying look on his face and I swallowed thickly.

"I'm not falling for him." I said adamantly. "And even if I was? It wouldn't be any of your fucking business." I snapped. Everyone looked back at me like I was a crazy person. In their defense, I didn't really snap. I was usually the happy-go-lucky sibling, the one you went to for a good mood and a good time, but this lecture? I wasn't having it.

"Okay. But then don't come running to us when you're alone again." Reese glared, walking out of the door like he did whenever he was too angry to hang around. Hot head.

"I'll go after him." Josh grimaced and shot me a look. "He's just worried about you."

"He should worry more about himself." I replied, turning away as I heard Josh go after Reese. "You two going to hang around and insult me some more?" I asked my two remaining siblings.

"I've gotta get to the bar." Kolt leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. "You could do better, that's all." I shook my head.

"You don't even know him." I said softly. He blinked.

"Do you want me to? Because you haven't tried to have us get to know him. Doesn't that tell you something?" He didn't wait for my answer as he followed Reese and Josh outside and I groaned and set my head in my hands.

"Alright Colbs, let me hear it."

"Will's coach? Seriously?" I nodded.

"Yup."

"You're the worst." I glanced up.

"Colbie!"

"Well now I can't imagine him doing me in the locker rooms, now that I know he's actually doing my baby sister!" I felt my face go hot as Colbie gasped. "Oh my god you two did it in the locker rooms didn't you?" She shook her head. "I'm the one who needs to get laid and you're taking my fantasy guy and making him unattainable." she sighed.

"Oops." I gave her a lopsided grin, since I prefered this to what my brothers had been saying. "If it helps he has a brother who's just as good looking." Well....almost. But I didn't say that.

".....huh. Kinda helps." I laughed. "So is he everything he seems to be?" She gave me a coy smile and I tossed a pillow at her. "Come on! Horny and alone here give me something!" I shook my head.

"He's better. A hundred times over." I admitted. Coblie groaned.

"Damn it. And him. And you." she chucked the pillow back at me and then gave me a look. "You're not falling for him? Really? Reese did his research Lila....the guys a womanizer." I shook my head.

"I know who is." I agreed, swallowing thickly as I ran my hands through my hair. "But you can't really help who you fall for can you?"